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Cartoonist/Illustrator - Jeff Larson
Minnesota
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5/25/2017

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BREAKING BAD .. Bible Style (rerun)

 
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Breaking Bad was the hugely or as Donald Trump likes to say BIG-LY hit TV show that ran from 2008-2013, and not lives on in reruns.

Breaking Bad was the show where unassuming high school chemistry teacher and family man Walter White evolves over 5 seasons into someone who is truly bad. His life becomes a slippery slope of compromises, and his white lies turned into massive cover-ups until by series finale he is a ruthless big time meth producer, and responsible for countless murders. In the end, Walter White dies, his family is destroyed, and the wake of his truly bad choices on those around him was far reaching for both innocent and guilty. And (for those who did live) they all DID NOT live happily ever after.  

Note:
Reruns are available on AMC and I am going out on a limb, BUT I doubt Breaking Bad will ever make it to the Hallmark channel.

The interesting but agonizing tension for much of the series was that Walter White's bad evolution was done in secret.  But as time moved on, his secret life of drugs and other crimes leaked out until these dark lies, and criminal acts eventually were exposed leading to his demise.

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Whew! I have to admit I followed this series and found spiritual lessons for life beyond the obvious ones of don't cook Meth, and/or murder people.
You see, Breaking Bad is the story of man. Here are a just few Breaking Bad Bible moments.
  • Adam & Eve disobeyed God, and lied about it. Of course God was not fooled.
  • Moses lost his temper, and grip on two stone tablets.. BREAKING BAD the 10 commmnadments,
  • Samson was God's chosen Superman Judge but with an ego as big as his muscles he lost sight figuratively of the source of his great strength, and lost sight literally as his head was shaved and his eyes gouged out.
  • King Saul .. chosen by God as the first King of Israel, but most of his royal reign was found on the same slippery slopes of ego and compromise reduding his life to sullen brooding existence. Saul attempted to kill David, and sought the help of a sorcerer shortly before in breaking bad form he died on the battle field.
  • King David had an affair with Uriah's wife, and then arranged for Uriah to be killed on the battlefield in an attempt to cover up his lies.
  • King Solomon was the wise king of Israel until he started collecting wives (700 of them) like other people collect stamps
  • Judas betrayed Jesus for 30 pieces of silver, and in this one fell swoop went down in INFAMY.

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Then let's fast forward to Breaking Bad 2013. 
  1. Maybe a problem with drink while hiding bottles.
  2. Maybe an attraction to someone other than your spouse.
  3. Maybe financial choices (credit cards, and purchases) that have dug a hole that cannot be climbed out of with any ladder we can purchase (on credit) at Home Depot.
  4. Maybe TV and/or the internet cluttering our minds with compromise that is just a click a way. 24/7 stimulation turning our brains to mush.

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But no matter our Breaking Bad issue here are a couple great scriptures of comfort and perspective.
1 Cor 10:13 No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.
Phil 4:8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

AND if/when we fall.. know the grace of our Heavenly Father is perfect. No matter how great or small your prodigal moment.

May God bless each of you with your journey.

 Jeff (Bad Back in the Back Pew) Larson

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5/21/2017

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That day I became.. a WOMAN!

 
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There was a time in my life not so long ago when I worked from home.  While my wife rushed off to work everyday to her job as a school teacher there was no punching a clock or fighting rush hour traffic for me.

I remember back during this time of our lives on a typical morning when the alarm goes off. My wife Mary hops out of bed ready to begin another day of molding young minds. Though I work from home I pop out of bed too so to spend time with Mary and maybe make myself useful. So I shuffle downstairs, start the coffee, let the dogs outside to do their 'bizness' then back in they come to be fed

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My wife soon after joins me downstairs to drink coffee, eat some toast, and exchange a little small talk about the upcoming day while the fog lifts from our sleepy brains. After a few minutes my wife starts back upstairs to finish getting ready but on her way up asks with a smile.. “Honey would you fix me a lunch?”

I have grown fond of her over many years of marriage and so I am glad to make myself useful. So off to the kitchen I go where I make a turkey sandwich on whole wheat bread, lettuce, tomato, with mayo just like Mary likes. I also pack a small bag of chips and a couple cookies because she is sweet.

Just a few minutes later Mary rushes back downstairs grabs her keys, lunch (made with love) and gives me a quick kiss as she heads out the door.. This is when I say to her in a very needy tone.. 

“Call me later..  I miss you when I don’t hear from you. ”


<insert dramatic pause here>

What kind of man says.. “Call me later..  I miss you when I don’t hear from you. ”  I can still see those words hanging in the air ( like a cartoon bubble) when it hits me..  

I HAVE JUST BECOME A WOMAN!! 

This was concerning.. I mean.. I do not suffer from Gender Confusion, I do not watch Ellen, Oprah, Dr. Phil, or hang out with Bruce/Kaitlyn Jenner... I found this moment both ironic and more than a bit CREEPY.  
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The good news is my wife and I are true partners, and while I share this story with a smirk our roles as husband & wife, and father & mother are not blurred.  Ephesians 5:21-33 is our happy goal for a happy marriage.

I pray you all have a very blessed day as I must leave you now to clip coupons, and then do my nails. well.. there I go again!! 

Jeff (apron wearing in the Back Pew) Larson

note: In 2015 I sold my business and returned to working a 9-5 job and navigate rush hour traffic.  So my modern and caring sensitive guy thingy moments have gone dormant.

1 Comment

5/18/2017

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Lone Survivor on Estrogen Island

 
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Not so long ago in 2014 I lived in a land with my wife, 22  yr old daughter Erin, 84 year old mom Nellie, 2 female dogs Baylie & Pepper, and one female cat Gizmo. I was as I like to aptly describe stranded on Estrogen Island.

This was a lonely time in my life with no one to talk football with as the natives only spoke Estrogenese. Though Estrogenese resembles English in structure but was a dialect ripe with hidden meanings.

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No longer did yes, mean yes, or no mean no, and other common words like fine, nothing, whatever, and wow when translated had double and sometimes TRIPLE meanings.  

Communication was further complicated when any of the above mentioned key words were used in combination. This was the dreaded 
DOUBLE AMBIGUOUS.  

​For example, if I tell my wife I am staying home and  watch the baseball game instead of shopping with her she may say..  "fine, whatever."  This is a double ambiguous where going to the game is 
NOT FINE, and WHATEVER.. is the last thing I should consider.

In these cases where I was in trouble (aka Thin Ice) for 'whatever' I learned flowers, jewelry, and watching Downton Abbey with my wife were all acceptable peace offerings.   I FELT SO USED.

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On Estrogen Island there is also a region once known as the master bathroom sink but has overgrown into a Beauty Labyrinth. It is covered with lotions, potions, brushes, blushes, tweezers, scissors, clippers, makeup, creams, 'smelly stuff', sprays & other misc. items not so easily identified. Leaving me in angst for my daily search in the Labyrinth for my toothbrush.   This become a matter of prayer for me.

The Beauty Labyrinth is similar to the mystery of a woman's purse. On the inside of what appears to be a simple handbag you will find cellphones, credit cards, cash, change, coupons, tic-tacs, tylenol, makeup, needle & thread,gum, sunglasses,  and a Glock 43 handgun. Move over NRA, Conceal & Carry has a new home.

In summary, not since the Tower of Babel have the languages been so confused.

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Since this time on Estrogen Island in 1984 much has changed. My mom passed away, Erin moved out on her own, Pepper & Baylie & Gizmo are all now in pet Heaven (though I am not sure about Gizmo) :) and my wife and I have added a male dog named Cooper.

You would think that would mean in our divided home government Cooper would cast his support to me.. you know guys stick together.. BUT no, Cooper loves Mary and is wary of me.  Good news is I have grown fond of Mary and her Estrogen infused ways lest my home look like an extended man cave where heat & serve food would be my go to meal plan.

May God bless you each today with happiness and contentment whether you live on Estrogen Island, or find yourself in Testosteronia. May your interactions with the natives of each be respectful of how God created us each wonderfully different.
​
Jeff (Survivor) Larson  

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5/13/2017

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Another Fishing Opener Observed

 
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Here we are May 13, 2017 and another fishing opener has begun in Minnesota without me casting a line...  but let me 'cast'  you a (blog) line or two as My FISHY-FISHING Tribute from the Back Pew dock. 

​Though I am may not be a fishing expert or theologian, I am not blind to the fact that the Bible is full of fish, fishing stories, and even fish fries that could feed a multitude. So this is where I start... 

Fishing Tips from the Old Testament...
All the way back at the Red Sea Fishing Opener of 1446 BC we find a couple local fisherman Lester & Willie dropping anchor at their favorite fishing spot.  Same spot the fished every year, but.. WHAT THE..  here in their favorite spot on the Red Sea they find the sea is for lack of a better term.. PARTED.  

Not only PARTED but right smack dab in the middle of this DRY LAND part there is a large group of people scurrying from one side to the other.

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The only fish Lester & Willie saw that day was a very startled sea carp who was separated from his family forcing him to jump the dry land to reunite with his family.  In the end, it was a fishing opener you just do see every day.

In the book of Joshua, the ol' parting of the waters scenario happens again on the River Jordan leaving the fish high and dry and easy pickings for even a novice fisherman to reach his catch limit.

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Of course when you are talking BIG FISH you are talking about Jonah. 

The story of Jonah swallowed by the big fish brought all new meaning to LIVE BAIT. But after three days on Jonah's facebook page he was found to have changed his status from Fish Bait to Fish BARF.

Jonah was the story of the big fish telling the tale of the one (Jonah) that got away.

Fishing Tips from the MASTER
So far we It does not get any better than FISHING with the MASTER. Jesus knew where to fish for FISH, men, and even MONEY.

Not only was Jesus the master Fishing Guide, he also demonstrated how to feed a hungry multitude (about 5,000) with just a few fish and loaves of bread.


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It is fair to say SATAN also likes to FISH. He is fond of his patented HOOK & NO RELEASE technique often using  BOLOGNA as his bait of choice.  Seems today there are lots of people who like his bologna. :(

There you have it, everything I know about fishing has been gleaned from the Holy scriptures, and filleted with my Back Pew filter and served up for each of you with a side of tartar sauce.  

Of course this blog is free of any real fishing tips CUZ I don't fish.

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Have a great summer fishing for fish, and to clarify for you single gals. FISHING FOR MEN is a figurative teaching referring to evangelism, and not a CHRISTIAN DATING SERVICE. 

Blessings.

Jeff

2 Comments

5/9/2017

3 Comments

I sure could use a .. COINCIDENCE!

 
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Albert Einstein was quoted as saying 'A coincidence is a miracle where God chose to stay anonymous.' 

In that case.. my life needs a.. COINCIDENCE!
This statement does not discount the need for me to work hard, make good choices, and be responsible.. BUT .. in this rush hour world with lost jobs, partisan politics, envy, greed, stress, foreclosures, sickness and death.. I need the sometimes subtle and/or big touch of God in my life. I need a coincidence!

Note: For the remainder of this email when I say coincidence I am referring to miracles.
The Bible is full of 'coincidences ' and there is no evidence that our creator has got out of the coincidence business .

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When talking about the 'coincidences' of the Bible I must share sometimes watch the National Geographic Channel on TV. NatGeo is an amazing channel covering a wide range of topics regarding this big ol' world we live in, and the bigger ol' universe our our big ol' world so neatly spins in.  

From time to time NatGeo devotes shows to great Bible stories to 'explain them' using science, history, archeology, and a dash of theology. I have watched shows ranging from Noah's Ark & the flood, the Parting of the Red Sea, the Ressurection of Jesus Christ, and the events of the end times as described in the book of Revelations.

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Most times NatGo explain away these great moments from the Bible as folklore or acts of nature to the point that they leave out the most important factor .. the 'coincidences' of God.  This I guess is because 'true science' does not believe in  .. coincidences. 
​

In all these amazing stories and more science insists 'coincidences' can be explained logically by the rules and laws of science, BUT.. illogically science does not account for an author of these rules. 

Our God is the creator and the author of all rules science is based on.  AND.. as author of all rules God transcends the constraints of time and space and can bend any and all rules at His discretion. 

When this happens.. 'viola' we have a 'coincidence'.

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In my life I do not recall God working so boldly as to part a Red Sea for me or even part a little rush hour traffic. ,, BUT .. I believe God answers my prayers in big and small ways that I will never realize on this side of Heaven. Now the question is.. Are thes moments coincidences?  or  'coincidences?'

Fact is.. my life has been full of coincidences. I have a wonderful wife, family, and friends. I have been protected from bad choices, difficult circumstances, a vice or two in a way that I believe was a coincidence.  Even in a not so small way is the coincidence is my wife finding a church after a move from our home of 15 years. Long story short is our first weekend at our new home we coincidentally found a church that now 1 1/2 years later has become our church complete with connections, service, and even close friends that certainly from God and not just a coincidence.    <pause>  I better stop, I am starting to get confused.

May God bless your lives with the loving touch as needed of His coincidences. May He provide, and protect, and use your lives in ways that are BEYOND YOUR DREAMS.
Jeff

ok.. you can now return to using the correct description of miracle to replace what man foolishly labels a coincidence.

3 Comments

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    The mutterings on life and faith by cartoonist Jeff Larson

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Back Pew - Draw Close to God
116 pages of cartoons of 'Clean Humor & God's Truth'

CRITICS ARE SAYING..
  • The Back Pew (vol 1) offers spiritual insights rarely found in 'most' coloring books.
  • On a good day The Back Pew is.. Gary Larson's The Farside goes to church!
  • On a bad day The Back Pew (vol 1) is still useful under the leg of an uneven coffee table.
Laughter is just a CLICK away
-click- HAHAHAHA! 

$9.99
christian cartoons, the back pew
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