Category: Redneck

9/29/2021

Rednecks in Small Towns

I grew up in the ‘metropolis’ of Cable Wisconsin with a population of about 280. Highway 63 travels through Cable, and rush hour traffic exists only from 7:45 am to 7:47 am, and returned from 4:58 pm to 5:02 pm. Traffic jams are only urban legends warning us of the EVIL big city.

I now live in Coon Rapids (pop 62,000), a suburb of Minneapolis Minnesota (pop 429,000). (the big city) and for years have experienced real rush hour traffic.

I know first hand about traffic jams while I traverse a pot hole du jour on busy streets where road construction is a way of life. The skyline of downtown Minneapolis is just a few miles away and is filled with impressive tall buildings which is a stark contrast to the skyline of 'trees' for my hometown of Cable.

In Cable the evenings are quiet as the few stores in town close down by early and traffic is reduced to the occasional car that can be heard in the distance going down highway 63.. and the sky is filled with stars. In contrast, even my quiet neighborhood of Coon Rapids is alive with stores AND.. the 24/7 busy-ness of the big city and it's lights mute the stars in the sky.

So the moral of the story.. You can take the BOY out of the small town, but you can't take the small town out of the BOY.
Insert musical interlude here -
Thank God I'm a Country Boy - John Denver and..
Small Town - John Mellencamp

So let me continue as I pay tribute to.. Small Towns and Rednecks.

In church on Sunday we might not be like the big city churches with a la-ti-da pipe organ. and/or GEE-TARS, but we certainly might find a zither or a BANJO!

Small towns God fearin' folk who Pray real good, and church fashion may replace fancy suits with a clean flannel shirt along with the appropriate head coverings.. including in Wisconsin.. A Cheesehead Prophetess.

Church sermons are practical words using object lessons on DUCT TAPE from behind a Freight Crate Pulpit, and to be sure every service ends with the Red Neck Great Commission GIT-R-DUN!

So to be very clear.. the country folk worship the same God as the city folk. One body, many parts. One family, many cuzin's. One church.. some from the city and some in the woods.. but the important point to make is - If yer KIN Yer In!

Well that is all for today. I am sure my whole website has a small town flavor and not just the toons I listed above. Small Town is a very good thing.

Have a great day, blessed by God in great ways.

note: In reality my home church is not as extreme as the redneck toons above, but it does have a small town flavor. It is a great church where the word of God is preached and is the place where I gave my heart to the Lord when I was 6 years old... and so small towns (specifically Cable Wisconsin) will always be special to me.

Praise the Lord for small town churches, and for His people.

Jeff (country boy at heart) Larson

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9/28/2020

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Small Towns & Rednecks

I grew up in the ‘metropolis’ of Cable Wisconsin with a population of about 280. Highway 63 travels through Cable, and rush hour was from 7:45 am to 7:47 am, and returned from 4:58 pm to 5:02 pm. Traffic jams was only urban legend warning us of the EVIL big city.

I now live in Coon Rapids, a suburb of Minneapolis Minnesota. (the big city) and for years have experienced real rush hour traffic. I know first hand about traffic jams, busy streets, road construction, and the skyline of downtown Minneapolis is just a few miles away and is filled with impressive tall buildings. The skyline of downtown Cable is.. trees. This is my skyline of choice.

In Cable the night is quiet, the few stores in town close down by early evening, with only maybe an occasional car can be heard in the distance going down highway 63, and the sky is filled with stars. I live in a quiet neighborhood in Coon Rapids, but the busyness of the city is never too far away, and the city lights make the stars in the sky appear dim. I love it here, BUT I do miss my hometown.

So the moral of the story.. You can take the BOY out of the small town, but you can't take the small town out of the BOY.

So in honor of small towns .. let me share a tribute to.. Small Towns and Rednecks.

Small Towns ..where we might not be like dem city churches with a la-ti-da pipe organ. and GEE-TARS, but we gots us a BANJO! We are God fearin' people who Pray real good, and though we might not dress in any fancy suits we are lookin plenty spiffy in our own way, and have set high standards regarding our men wearing HATS while makin' exceptions in Wisconsin where Women can wear 'hats' like the FELLAS every fall.

But don't you worry yer little ol self none.. our pastor may be preachin from behind a Freight Crate Pulpit, where you hear sermons with practical life object lessons on DUCT TAPE. And.. every service ends we are sent out into 'the woods'? with the Red Neck Great Commission GIT-R-DUN!

But like all churches we did have a split a few years back over theology. No it has nuttin to do wit' baptism (once the ice is off the lakes we baptize everything but cats), or raisin yer hands, or speakin in tongues (couple fellers know pig latin). We don't care if U-R-A Calvinist, or even a Viking fan... but we don't handle Snakes.

So come join the country folk worshiping the same God as the city folk. One body, many parts. One family, many cuzin's. One church.. some from the city and some in the woods.. but the important point to make is - If yer KIN Yer In!

Well that is all for today. I am sure my whole website has a small town flavor and not just the toons I listed above. Small Town is a very good thing.

Have a great day, blessed by God in great ways.

note: In reality my home church is nothing like the redneck toons above. It definitely has a small town flavor, but it is a great church where the word of God is preached and is the place where I gave my heart to the Lord when I was 6 years old... and so small towns (specifically Cable Wisconsin) will always be special to me.

Praise God for small town churches, and for His people.

Jeff (country boy at heart) Larson

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3/6/2016

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A Duct Tape Revival!

I am a fan of all the redneck jokes and humor.

I grew up in very rural Wisconsin where

flannel shirts were often worn (with ties) by the ushers at our little church.
Where wearing orange during hunting season was more prevelant than seen in the Rajneesh cult in Oregon in the 1980s.
Where in the church parking lot in November you could likely find at least one pickup truck with a bible on the front seat, a hunting rifle on the back seat, and a deer draped over the hood.
Where duct tape was an effective sermon illustration.

While I may not be from the South, my rural Wisconsin upbringing demonstartes my first hand knowledge of the redneck's glorious absence of sophistication.

With this in mind let me share a small tribute to my redneck faith.
The worship, the smiling faces all tell you if you are KIN (you know Jesus) you are IN. It is all one big family of God reunion with a potluck macaroni buffet to boot.