I found a web site which lists the oldest people living today. When I checked it I read of a lady who was 115, and another that was 125, and then some lady I think from Peru that was supposedly 140! There was a picture of this lady and, yes, she looked every bit of 140. Of course I am not sure how we can really know she is that old (count her wrinkles like the rings on a tree?), but there is no doubt she is very, very old.
So segue back to Genesis after Cain kills his brother Abel we move on to a ‘a whole-lotta-begetting’ going on. God’s command to “go forth and multiply” was one command mankind took to heart well beyond just knowing simple math facts!
But old in Genesis is a relative thing. People in Genesis times lived to be sometimes 800 or 900 years old.
Adam lived to be 930 years old after God created him on the 6th day Genesis 5:5. His son Seth was 912 Genesis 5:8, Noah later on in Genesis we learn lived to be 950 years, and the long in the tooth award winner is .. Methuselah... the oldest man in the history of .. HISTORY. Methuselah was cut down in the prime of life at the age of 969 Genesis 5:25-27
I figure if I eat my veggies, drink milk, get 8 hours of sleep a night along with daily exercise and in only 908 more birthdays I will have Methuselah beat. That will be in the year.. 2928 when I am neighbors with George Jetson.
They say you are only as old as you feel and I find this to be very little encouragement some days when feeling 'Genesis5esque' old. Maybe not Methuselah old, but at least somewhere in the mid 500s. and to think they did not have Ibuprophen.
The other interesting pattern of this was how old people were still.. um.. still.. ‘begetting’. While one of today’s serious society concerns is teen pregnancies, this was not the problem with society recorded in Genesis.
In Genesis 5 it was not unusual for a couple to wait 70 to 500 years old before starting a family. I guess those 500 years were spent playing golf, world travel using up frequent flyer miles, paying off the mortgage(s), credit card debt, or marking hot yoga off their bucket list.
Maybe women in Genesis 5 wanted a career as a shepherdess, garden mogul, or working as a Mary Kay Cosmetics specialist before settling down and having kids.
Note: This parenting trend even held true even after Noah came onto the scene.
At age 500 Noah had three sons, and when he was about 600 years old when the Lord told him to start his Desert Ark Marina, and from what I read his sons helped with this process.
Ok, so picture this - 600 year old Noah, and his three 100 year old sons building a very big (BBIIIGGG) boat. Five hundred years old!? That would be like Columbus still being around, and working with those old people I found on that web site to build an ark. Of course Columbus may understand boats, BUT.. HE’S VERY OLD AND VERY DEAD, and those people from the website are VERY OLD and will be dead soon enough.
I do believe these stories we read about in Genesis, but in our modern world I have trouble picturing this Old Testament culture. But then again, I suppose IF Noah reappeared in the desert near the city of Las Vegas (aka Sin City), he would most likely sigh and say, “I better get busy building another ark in the desert again because society is certainly going to Hell.” (insert pun here).
Let me close these early chapters of Genesis with a few more images sharing a Back Pew perspective.
So while it is hard for me to grasp the fact that I am 62.. a Methuselah like age (969) boggles the mind. But like so many things in the Bible, just because I don’t understand does not make it not true.
From Genesis through Revelation I find the evidence and promise of God’s love and grace.
From the Garden to the Flood to the Cross all the way through life today sitting in my Back Pew there is this promise and evidence of a loving God.
May God bless each of you today in ways that are beyond your dreams. I pray you place your faith and hopes in the one true God of our Bibles.
Jeff (Methuselah like aches & pains) Larson
So Adam and Eve leave Eden, and start a family with their two fine boys Cain & Abel. The Bible does not tell us too much about the boys lives, but that Cain liked veggies, whilst Abel tended animals. These both seemed like wonderful career choices as Silicon Valley technology opportunities were limited at this time.
All is fine and good livin' La-vi-la-Genesis until Cain and Able were to bring their gifts to the Lord. God accepted Abel’s gift, but rejected Cain’s. For this Back Pew cartoonist, this provided an interesting moment between these boys debating the health risks of too much red meat.
Admittedly Cain did overreact when his ‘garden salad gift’ was rejected by God by killing his brother. No more Red Bull energy drinks for Cain.
When God asks Cain what happened to his brother he gives the time honored answer. “Am I my brothers keeper?” and perhaps then deflected from his guilt mumbling about his PETA membership being disrespected.
So there you have it. Adam, Eve, a Garden neglected, and two boys that fight. God's creation is certainly off to a fine start.
Sin and the fall of man was inevitable, and was the result of man's free will choice just as our sins are.. but moving from apple eating to murder was a big jump on the sin meter.
The consequences of sin for Adam & Eve was they were evicted from The Garden of Eden, and for Cain became a homeless wanderer.
THE GREAT NEWS is that neither Adam's eating apples, Cain killing his brother, or any other creative sin of man is NOT beyond the redemption found in GOD'S GRACE.
My prayer is we all learn from these Genesis lessons of free will rebellion gone horribly bad. Most of us I like to think will never commit murder, but our sins great and small are all selfish rebellions of emotions and ignorance that fly in the face of God's will.
When this happens, and it will.. return to God just like the prodigal children we all are.
Repent and accept God's free gift of grace. If we don't repent we will be like Cain.. a homeless wanderer of this Earth and missing the greater purpose intended for each of us.
Jeff (not a murderer) Larson
After creating the world God placed Adam and Even in the beautiful Garden of Eden (aka paradise), and in the center of this garden was the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil Ge 2:17 which Adam and Eve were forbidden to eat of its fruit. A Great setting for a Garden Party, until.. it was ruined.
So how do you ruin a Garden Party?
Rain, snow, gloom of night (mailman stuff), or maybe forget to send out the invites to your party? Of course snow & ice might happen here in Minnesota (paradICE), but not in paradise (Eden), so how Adam & Eve ruin this Garden Party?
Genesis 2:19-20 19 Now out of the ground the Lord God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. 20 The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him.
So as Senior Garden Engineer Adam did his best Dr. Doolittle imitation and talked to the animals naming them one by one. What a daunting task, but 'in the beginning' the streaming library on Netflix was limited, there was no Sunday football, and this task was assigned before Eve arrived with her 'Honey Do List(s)' so he had plenty of time to name a 'couple animals'.
Ok, admittedly all the animals are not pets, but I know my one little rescue dog could get into the right amount of mischief to ruin a garden party. Either chewing up something that is not his, sneaking food that is not his, or.. leaving little doggie-doo 'presents' that are his and I have stepped in.
But we do not read any animals (even a mischievous rescue dog ruined the Garden Party.
So if it wasn't the animals, then who was to blame?
Genesis 3:1-7 So next enters ‘ The Snake’ aka Satan, and the snake tempts Eve that eating fruit is a good thing and she does, and offers it Adam and he eats too.
In defense of Adam, though he did disobey God (being a married man myself) I remember early in our marriage my wife made a special dinner and she asked if I liked it and I foolishly answered "it was ok, but not my favorite".. This landed me on thin ice, and the waters below were icy cold!
But I digress.. So they both eat the apple, and all of a sudden they feel a draft, as they realize they are naked.
Naked, and uncomfortable (sounds like a Discovery Channel reality show) and more uncomfortable in a draft than a 1960's hippy was getting a draft notice from Uncle Sam!
In case of the hippy, he burned his draft card and headed to Oh Can-a-daaa Eh!, In contrast, Adam & Eve realized they were drafted while being naked.
There was no Old ‘Testament’ Navy, GAP (except between the leaves!), or levi's stores in the Garden so Adam & Eve being naked went for the ‘obvious’ line of clothing.. FIG LEAVES?
Ge 3:7 Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked. And they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths.
But.. this 'Fig Leaf' line of fashion had at least a couple serious drawbacks.
1. Leaf blight, and squirrels, and
2. Fig Leaves were simply not all that flattering. No woman when asking how she looks, wants to hear the words.. "You look like a SHRUB".
And now seeing the bigger picture outside of the world of fashion, Adam & Eve realized life would never be the same. Sin caused a host of irrational emotions.
Ge 3:8-9 Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden. But the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?”
The Invention of the Blame Game..
Naked and afraid Adam & Eve were playing 'Hide & Seek' with God. This is where the time honored (or dishonored) 'Blame Game' was first used. First Adam blamed Eve, Eve blamed the snake, and the snake did not have a leg (literally & figuratively) to stand on!
This my friends is how you ruin a Garden Party!
About a week later a CSI investigation corroborated the entire Genesis 3 account.
So the fall out from this original sin was the snake, woman, and man were cursed and Adam & Eve were then EVICTED from the Garden while Willie Nelson played 'On the Road Again' in the background.
Since Genesis 3, our sinful flawed nature has compromised what God has intended for our lives.
The Sin Parallel
Adam & Eve chose to disobey God, eat the forbidden apple and then try to hide from God. While we may not live anything close to Paradise, the 'sin parallel' is the same. .. our sins are our willful choice that separate us from God, and then we hide! It matters what we do, say, and/or think, and our disobedience in big or small ways lands compromises the good God intends for us.
GOOD NEWS IS.. God's Grace is as they say AMAZING. He will accept us back after any big or small prodigal moments when we truly repent. BUT please note.. God will not be mocked.. an insincere whoopsie attitude towards our sin move us further away from the safety and blessings God intends for us.
My prayer today all of us to pursue a greater love for our God. To be in a place where obedience to our loving Heavenly Father is a natural expression of this love. May God impress on our hearts His love for us, He desires the very best for us, and realize His Word is a light to guide us in this dark world.
Jeff (weeding my garden) Larson
Final Garden Notes.. It was a strange new world in the Beginning ripe with a few more cartoon musings.
Genesis 1 - In the beginning, God spoke the universe into existence. Some of those present claimed they heard a loud crackling sound like thunder, but most simply described it as sort of a.. BANG.. actually a BIG BANG!
At this point let me be clear, I am not here to discuss Old Earth v New Earth theories. This would be above the pay grade of this cartoonist, but what I will say is .. God created and it was GOOD!
Genesis 1:1-31 To summarize, this daunting project was completed in 6 days where Day 1: DAY , NIGHT , the SKY were spoke into existence by our Almighty Creator.
Genesis 2:1-3 Then on the 7th day God rested. In contrast I installed a bathroom floor in our town-home recently and I rested on the 5th, 6th, and 7th days and while it turned out nice it was not Hubble Telescope spectacular like God's Universe.
Those first 6 days His creation included the sun, stars, land, waters, and all the creatures in the sea and on land were created.
To rule over the lands and seas God created MAN Genesis 2:7 in His own image from the dust of the Earth followed by creating WOMAN from man's 'spare rib' declaring it is not good for man to be alone. Genesis 2:18
To which Adam declared.. "Hey beautiful, where have you been all my life?"
Then God commanded Adam and Eve to "be fruitful and multiply".. to which Adam quickly started working on his times tables.
This creation story is all recorded into the Bible book of Genesis. While many Cosmologists believe the Big Bang was the creation of EVERYTHING from NOTHING followed by billions of years of random collisions and explosions resulted in our ever expanding universe, all the planets including Earth including life with all it's complexities.
Ok, I believe you can collide a chocolate bar with a jar of peanut butter and end up with a Reeses Peanut Butter Cup.. but this Universe has too moving parts + complexities that are bound together with rules and order for me to believe EVERYTHING came from NOTHING.
So I choose to believe there must be an intelligent design behind creation. For me, I believe in a divine creator that exists outside the confines of time and space. I believe this Intelligent Design is described in the Bible Book of Genesis.
May God bless each of you greatly in your pursuit of truth. This is important stuff, and a foundation for life. If there is a God then the pursuit of Him is a greater science than can be found looking through any microscope or telescope. Bigger than Star Trek's five year journey exploring the stars.
Jeff (little bang) Larson
A while back our pastor gave a sermon on getting to know God by reading our Bibles regularly and systematically. During this very good sermon our pastor joked that the most read books of the Bible are Genesis and Matthew, because our inspired intentions in January to read through our Bibles fades once we are through Genesis, and Matthew. (Leviticus has killed many a Bible study ).. then the next year we are back in Genesis and Matthew. I call this bible study plan.. The BEGINAGAINS.
I must be honest and say I have followed the BEGINAGAIN plan many times and not until 2003 did I completely read my Bible from cover to cover AND I CARTOONED THRU IT TOO! Note: Neither Billy Graham or the Pope could say they cartooned through the Bible. Then in 2018 lightning struck again as I read through my Bible from Genesis through Revelations. YEAH ME!
Now here I am starting out 2020 in the BEGINAGAINS using a chronological Bible with the intentions of getting past those tedious Dos and Don'ts highlighted in Leviticus.
Now for many reading through the Bible from beginning to end is not appealing and I understand that. My wife is one of those good folks. In fact I was told in a men's group about studying it is wrong to simply read the Bible through in a year. I DISAGREE.. for me reading through my Bible in order gives me a context and flow of stories and cultures that I may otherwise miss. This is NOT the only right way to read my Bible but it is a way that works for me.
No matter if you use tried and true(?) BEGINAGAINS Bible study, or topical study, or other method the important message is to be in God's word. DAILY!
For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Hebrews 4:12
Oh we will have questions, and we will not understand it at times. Creation, Noah and his Ark floating on a universal flood, parting of the Red Sea, Elijah riding a chariot of Fire, the Virgin Birth of Jesus, the feeding of 5,000 on fish and chips leftovers, the raising of the dead, the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, and the end time prophecies. All these subjects and many more challenge our reasoning while we scratch our collective heads, and even question what we believe. BUT I have found honest questions are different than doubts, and reading my Bible gives me answers to where I build my faith and love in God.
WHERE SHOULD I PLACE MY FAITH?
Of course in the end we are each challenged regarding where we will place our faith. Will it be science alone, a progressive secular world view, Christianity, or another of the worlds religions. I choose to place my faith in the God of my Bible and this is where I place my hope.
Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1
May God bless each of you in your spiritual journey, and I pray that we all make a priority of reading God's word and be wise in where we place our faith and our hope.
New Year's Blessings
Jeff (BEGINAGAIN) Larson
note: Please understand I respect those who disagree with me (even on the existence of God). My intentions are simply sharing where I place my faith.
Drawing a line.. is a topic I can so easily relate to. Drawing lines, and coloring inside those lines.. and viola' I have a cartoon. Everybody loves cartoons.. ok, some of us more than others, but hey.. it's what I do.
Now the beauty and curse of a cartoon it allows me the liberty of exaggeration. Exaggeration in a world with big noses, bellies, expressions, and points of view. The lines drawn in cartoons are just outside the lines where reality exists and in this world, I am among friends.
So while I like cartoons and the work of great cartoonists they are obviously not likely found in an Art Gallery.
True art draw lines along with colors and shadows that are amazingly true to the subject of their creation.
This world of true art exists in sharp contrast to my world of cartoons with the above mentioned exaggeration of lines, shadows, and colors to distort truth for the purpose the humor or illustrate a particular point of view.
So then we come to God's Word, His never changing Truth. There are clear lines drawn within it's pages of right and wrong, good and evil, love and hate. The pages of our Bible's are TRUE ART. These lines are perfect with a message that is both honest and loving.
Of course using my finite mind I struggle at times to grasp the depths of these truths and honestly at times DO NOT UNDERSTAND what I am reading.. BUT.. never the less these NEVER CHANGING truths are constant, flawless, and does not need the collective so-called enlightenment of any man from Adam through this very minute including a certain cartoonist from Minnesota.
Here in lies the dilemma.. I observe a trend in today's church to believe the perfect lines of God's unchanging truths need to be redrawn. Too many believe the Bible is outdated and in order to fit God's word into their 'evolved cultured' sensibilities they in effect redact passages they do not agree with and/or use scripture out of context to fit their narrative. These man 'inspired' efforts draw new progressive lines and proceed to color outside the perfect lines of God's inspired word. These efforts make a cartoon out of God's perfect loving Bible truths.
Let me share examples of these sharp contrasting lines
SIMPLE RIGHT & WRONG
GENDER & MARRIAGE
LUST & ADULTERY
CARING V SELFISH
Of course, no one wants to be labeled the uncaring bigoted judgmental Christian stereotype. So while we need to be sensitive regarding all issues of the day including today's hot-button topics (racism, abortion, homosexuality, and gender identity, etc etc ) we need to blend this with God's firm loving Truths . Remember always speak God's truth with love, but 'flip it' to realize love is found only in God's Truth.
And.. the next time someone tells you "I like Jesus but not Christians because Jesus was about love.. but Christians are are judgmental, hateful, bigoted, sexist, patriarchal homophobes.. . Read them Luke 12:49-53
Not Peace, but Division Luke 12:49-53 49 “I came to cast fire on the earth, and would that it were already kindled! 50 I have a baptism to be baptized with, and how great is my distress until it is accomplished! 51 Do you think that I have come to give peace on earth? No, I tell you, but rather division. 52 For from now on in one house there will be five divided, three against two and two against three. 53 They will be divided, father against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against mother, mother-in-law against her daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law.”
Finally, if we are not careful even those of us who are not progressives allow God's lines to be changed into a caricature at best, or even worse into a big ol' ugly cartoon instead of the beautiful piece of art God's Word is. STAY INSIDE THE LINES, LIVE INSIDE THESE LINES.
Note: I am not casting stones here as I am convicted and reflective on my own past & present spiritual compromises, and prayerful God will guide me with his truth and find me obedient.
May God bless each of you with discernment regarding God's Truths while being salt and light in dark empty society. Be strong for the Lord as we answer to God.. not man.
Jeff (Drawing lots of lines) Larson
I guess by strict definitions I am a protestant, but technically more of a protestant MUTT.
Actually I would like to be simply defined as a CHRISTIAN thank you very much. I am not being a rebel, but I don't fit nicely into any denominational box. I respect the views of others, but have to come to my own conclusions on all the nooks and cranny faith issues.
And let me be clear I am not judging your choice of 'box' unless.. you have a SNAKE in it.
So with this in mind I place all I have learned from God and his church and it all fits nicely in 'My Faith Box'.
The next challenge is fitting My Faith Box into the ever changing Post Modern Society box aka the PM Society box. This is a big box with lights and sounds. Inside their is a society of blended cultures with ever changing faster than a speeding bullet technology, and much much more. All the bells & whistles of the PM Society box are distracting and often attractive BUT I need to be careful when fitting My Faith Box in the PM Society Box. This can be messy.
I believe a classic Billy Graham message shared.. We are called to be in the world, but not of it.
And certainly not a frog simmering in a pot of secular values.
So In this PM Society box I find things like.. The internet. Which is both an incredible resource for 1. LIGHT (faith, family, friends, news, etc) and 2. DARKNESS (anger, hatred, self-indulgence, porn, etc ).
The internet also offers the ever evolving social media kit at no extra charge where I can text, tweet, post on facebook, instagram, or you can blog.. Blog? sounds like a cheap horror movie from the 1950s.. 'The Attack of the 50 Page Blog'. Maybe that should be the name of my blog?
In our PM Society box I can also stream music, videos or even sermons (if I am feeling particularly spiritual ) of any big name preacher or subscribe to Cyber Clyde's Bed Hair Pod Cast.
This can all be done from the convenience of my office chair while donning the same gym shorts, tank top, and bed hair just like Cyber Clyde.
When PM Society is not on the computer it is on your smartphone, or surfing HD TV with a bazillion (I actually counted there are a bazillion) sports, news, and movie channels.
In PM Society Box people buy meals, high buck coffees and lattes through a drive through window... or have them even delivered to their door. They will soon even have their groceries delivered by little retail drones. I can't wait til they do appliance deliveries via drones. When that happens I am canceling Cable TV and just following the Home Delivery Channel.
My Faith Box is now feeling a little agitated and stimulated at the same time. So far I am having trouble keeping all this PM Society box stuff out of My Faith Box. I see a TV remote is in my Faith Box, and an Amazon Prime Card. In fact I think grease from a leaky fast food bag from the PM Society box is soaking into the corner of My Faith Box and sadly I like the smell. I kind of like some of this PM Society stuff, and it is easy to justify there place in my Faith Box. I THINK I NEED HELP.
OK, I may not be so desperate that I need a Faith Box Exorcism, or an Exterminator, but I could do some spring cleaning... here in November.
My serious prayer is to have an honest Faith Box, with the word of God in it that never changes and a prayer list that is ever changing. I want to be in this world but not of it. This world (aka PM Society Box) is a mess! It is filled with noise, smells, and sights that are often far from God. It is a box that NEEDS GOD, not religion of man, but needs GOD THE CREATOR and GOD THE SAVIOR. PM Society box is in need of a revival.
Regarding Revival: I listened to a sermon a while ago by Louie Gigglio and he said "Where there is pain, where there is a mess this is where a revival can happen". No one has a personal revival when life is going perfect. So by this definition this world is ready for a revival.
OK, probably I took the box analogy a bit too far about a half a blog ago, but if you are still with me I pray God inspires in us a love for Him and His ways that make us truly salt and light in a PM Society box that is in contrast bland and existing in the dark like a mole eating rice cakes.
Jeff (All Boxed in) Larson
I don't know what it is like where you live, but The rain that fell over the course of the last 24 hours officially bumped 2019 up to the second-wettest year on record in Minneapolis Mn, with 29.64” of rain, behind 1892 with 31.75”. Ok, not ARK building weather, but still the 2nd wettest year on record.
Of course back in Noah's day they didn't think they needed an Ark either. There wasn't even a Marina in town, but God grew tired of the true wickedness of man and decided to wipe out all mankind by a flood except for Noah and his family who would sail safely on an Ark.
Genesis 6:5-6 The Lord saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every intention of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually. And the Lord regretted that he had made man on the earth, and it grieve
So we all know the story, the people mocked him Noah's Ark project, until that day that rang out in infamy where the floods covered the Earth killing all living creatures except Noah, his family, and a literal boat load of animals.
This is one of those stories learned in Sunday School where God saved Noah and all the animals of every kind. Cute story for kids, but a powerful story for the rest of us.
While some Christians feud over the flood being local versus universal, or where the Ark is now.. the greater message is to a wicked world that was not SAVED on-board this giant Ark sized petting zoo. Death versus Life was the choice of mankind back in Noah's day, and death versus life is our choice today.
No I don't have to RSVP any Ark invitations from God, but.. same as in Noah's day either I am with (obedient to) God or against Him. Today, either I have accepted Jesus into your heart or have not. The choice is mine, the choice is yours. And just like in Noah's day,
IT MATTERS ETERNALLY what we believe. God will not be mocked. If we do not choose God's salvation plan we will be as lost as Noah's neighbors when the great flood consumed them.
Not such a cute story now. It's a nice story if you are on the boat, but if not.. then a snorkel and flippers will not save you. But it is a beautiful story, because just like the Ark in Noah's day, God has provided salvation. This salvation is found in the name of Jesus. God does not desire for any of us to miss out, but we all have free will so the choice is ours. CHOOSE WISELY, and salvation is a reality CHOOSE POORLY and please know you not safe.
Note: Flood Insurance would not have saved you in Noah's Day, and neither will Fire Insurance save you today.
May God bless each of you with the realization of salvation through Jesus Christ. It is a beautiful gift from our loving God. For those of you outside of His plan, know John 3:16, believe John 3:16, and then.. WELCOME ABOARD.
John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.
Jeff (Soggy bottom boy in Minnesota) Larson
It is common knowledge in the church that all those who accept Jesus Christ as their savior automatically receive an eternal life insurance (ELI)plan protecting them from Hell Fire . This ELI plan is a must for all those who value eternity.., I highly recommend it. No monthly premiums to remember, so why not sign up today.
But, besides the ELI policy featured in the Gospels I was concerned regarding the life and health insurance needs for an extremely violent Old Testament. What happens what tragedy strikes?Then after researching Google and after about 7 red bulls at 3 as.m. I uncovered a little known but powerful insurance plan known as the Aflack Apocrypha Comprehensive Insurance Plan (AACI). AACI covered the following significant Bible moments and more..
Other probable insurance claims I noticed were..
So there you have it.. The Aflack Apocrypha (AACI) . We were the original 'We know a thing or two cuz we've seen a thing or two' insurance company.
Note: I am pretty sure this illustrated blog/writing/policy outline will NOT become an accepted part of the canon of scripture, but I am ok with that.
May God bless you with health and good insurance... and a future in Heaven with our Jesus.
note: Confession, I never googled the Alfack Apocrypha.. I made it up.. (insert shock & awe here). I don't drink red bulls, and I certainly at my age am not up at 3 a.m. unless I have to pee. TMI TMI
What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? Romans 8:31
The classic Bible story of David and Goliath found In 1 Samuel 17 seems to be the perfect illustration of what the Apostle Paul wrote many years later in Romans 8:31. The mano a mano battle between the Philistine Behemoth War machine Goliath and the little Shepherd boy David son of Jesse had Las Vegas bookmakers of course laying heavy odds on a first round knock out.
In one corner (actually on a hillside) stood Goliath. He is a 9' tall lean mean killing machine whose mere presence has the armies of Israel shaking in their boots.. while others piddled in theirs.
And a very Monty Python like battle cry.. "RUN AWAY RUN AWAY" was heard through out the land.
In the other corner (actually the other hillside) King Saul who was the big man on campus (head and shoulders above the rest) was NOT 9' tall. So he promised one of his daughters as the literal 'trophy wife' for the man who would come forward and challenge Big Bad Goliath.
But.. the idea of being known as the soon to be 'DEAD' at the hands of a GIANT son in law of the king was met with resounding silence.. except the sound of the knocking of the knees of Israel's First 'chicken' Brigade. I guess none of these soldiers had read Romans 8:31.
Enter stage left.. David who shows up to deliver brown paper bag lunches (PB&J sandwiches, apple, bag of chips, and gatorade) to his brothers. Ok, not sure about the menu, but he was sent by his dad Jesse BUT when David overheard the 9' tall heathen windbag taunting the one and only true God he was all in to taking down Mr. Fee Fi Fo Fum! Up until now David's battle resume was as a defender of .. 'sheep'. But as noted by personal reference Sal the Sheep, 'David had killed lions, (maybe tigers) and bears OH MY and he was one baaaa-d dude."
I guess Saul thought to better you than me and loaded up David with all his armor from the big & tall King section.
David looked more like the tin man from Wizard of Oz than a mighty warrior and so David shed all this oversized armor and instead traveled light with 5 smooth stones, a sling, and most importantly his Faith in the One True God.
Goliath even taunts David calling him a dog. Then as the LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE announcement is made over the hillside, the bell rings and both men leave their respective corners (er a hillsides) to do battle in the valley.
The Thrilla in Pallestinia
From all published accounts (1 Samuel 17) the battle was over before it really began. But in the very first 'David defeats Goliath' story-line it was a FIRST ROUND KNOCKOUT for the ages. Not until years later when Rocky Balboa defeated Apollo Creed have the Las Vegas odds-makers been so wrong.
David drops Goliath with one smooth stone square in his thick skull dropping him like a 9' tall sack of philistine potatoes. David then pulls Goliath's own sword from his sheath kills Golaith and cuts off his head and returns it to Saul.
Further investigations of the Crime Scene confirmed the details of the battle. Crime Scene smelled like sheep, Stone shaped indentation in vic's head matched stone near crime scene. Vic's own sword was used to sever head of the big man... BUT it appears it was not suicide. DUH.. how does someone cut off their own head?
Moral of the Story.. of every story is again found in the words of the Apostle Paul
What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? Romans 8:31
No matter the GIANT in your life.. remember the rest of Romans 8
Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? .. No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
May God bless and use all you Davids in ways that are beyond your dreams and all that God intended for His glory. Amen.
Jeff (Giant Killer) Larson
The mutterings on life and faith by cartoonist Jeff Larson