Category: Marriage

The Good Wife..

5/2/2018

The Good Wife was a popular TV show that my good wife and I got hooked on. Each week white lies, big lies, corruption, infedelities, indescretions, scandals, deceipt and other naughtiness found in politics, marriage, and in the court of law are crammed into one 60 minute Sunday night broadcast.

The Good Wife was just a TV show weaving together much of what is wrong with society for our entertainment value (not to mention they all drink A LOT A LOT) and not a model for a happy society. In contrast my wife is the Truly Good Wife!

A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds. Proverbs 31:10

My 'very Good Wife' Mary in contrast may be armed with a honey do list and a disapproving glance at my Sunday choice of clothes, but her honey do list does prod me from my computer chair and I confess I sometimes need her help regarding my wardrobe.

Mary is all about her faith, family and friends with special focus and love reserved for our children, and grandchildren. She also loves and affirms me no matter our circumstance. Her joy and laughter for life is infectious. I am blessed.

I would encourage everyone to read all of Proverbs 31:10-31.
Hymn to a Good Wife (Msg)10-31 A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds. Her husband trusts her without reserve, and never has reason to regret it. Never spiteful, she treats him generously all her life long. She shops around for the best yarns and cottons, and enjoys knitting and sewing. She’s like a trading ship that sails to faraway places and brings back exotic surprises. She’s up before dawn, preparing breakfast for her family and organizing her day. She looks over a field and buys it, then, with money she’s put aside, plants a garden. First thing in the morning, she dresses for work, rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started. She senses the worth of her work, is in no hurry to call it quits for the day. She’s skilled in the crafts of home and hearth, diligent in homemaking. She’s quick to assist anyone in need, reaches out to help the poor. She doesn’t worry about her family when it snows; their winter clothes are all mended and ready to wear. She makes her own clothing, and dresses in colorful linens and silks. Her husband is greatly respected when he deliberates with the city fathers. She designs gowns and sells them, brings the sweaters she knits to the dress shops. Her clothes are well-made and elegant, and she always faces tomorrow with a smile. When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say, and she always says it kindly. She keeps an eye on everyone in her household, and keeps them all busy and productive. Her children respect and bless her; her husband joins in with words of praise: “Many women have done wonderful things, but you’ve outclassed them all!” Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades. The woman to be admired and praised is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-God. Give her everything she deserves! Festoon her life with praises!

Your wife may shop at Walmart instead of making her own clothes, and wear jeans instead of fine linens. Your wife may work outside the home and not just exist as solely as the happy homemaker, but this proverb paints a great picture of A Good Wife who loves God, family, friends, and cares for those in need. And it goes without saying was NOT a scripture passage referenced in creating a TV show called The Good Wife.

Ha!.. Tell that to Julianna Margulies!

May God bless all of you good wives out there. I would add a blessing for you guys but.. let's explain again.. your wives are your blessing.

Jeff

note: 'Important Stuff' I have learned from watching the TV show The Good Wife

The myth of horrific traffic and commutes in Chicago are busted. Each week all the important players navigate between courtrooms, law offices, airports, the homes of Chicago, and chili dog vendors quicker than I can go through a McDonald's drive through for a Happy Meal one mile from my house. AMAZING.
All cases in court go back and forth between winning and losing like a game of tennis, or more accurately PONG. No exceptions.
There is no reasons for any case in America (even the OJ trial) to drag on for months. On The Good Wife trials from beginning to end can be completed in one 60 minute show. Ok, not 60 minutes as tv shows are like 'dog years' so this would translate out to all cases in the court of law can be resolved in a couple days, or one week max.

* Some say television is just wasting time and turns our brains to mush, but look at what I have learned. :)

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It is not good for man to be alone, unless..

4/12/2018

2 Comments

It is not good for man to be alone. God decided this before the second chapter of Genesis was over. Genesis 2:18

Adam's socks were all over the Garden. Dirty dishes were everywhere, and all man did was sit around watching ball games on TV telling knock knock jokes.. to himself. Besides, Adam was not even using that rib.

So it was clear then and is now it was not good for man to be alone UNLESS his only choice is a NAG Proverbs 21:19.. then God advises..

get a room on the second floor of a one story home. The view is spectacular and the quiet is so welcome. :)

Of course there is much more to be said about God's Gender Odd Couple (man & wife). Both common sense and God's word make this abundantly clear.

One of my favorite verses to take out of context is Ephesians 5:22 Wives SUBMIT to your husbands.

This is an annoying verse to my wife Mary when I take too long to pause and ponder this 'great' scripture without continuing to read the next 11 verses. I even try to convince her that there are only 22 verses in Ephesians 5. She is not amused.

But when I get serious and take time to read Ephesians 5:21-33 in a modern translation like The Message (MSG) my smirky bell-ringing stereotype of 5:22 goes silent.

21 Out of respect for Christ, be courteously reverent to one another.
22-24 Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. The Husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands.
25-28 Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They’re really doing themselves a favor—since they’re already “one” in marriage.
29-33 No one abuses his own body, does he? No, he feeds and pampers it. That’s how Christ treats us, the church, since we are part of his body. And this is why a man leaves father and mother and cherishes his wife. No longer two, they become “one flesh.” This is a huge mystery, and I don’t pretend to understand it all. What is clearest to me is the way Christ treats the church. And this provides a good picture of how each husband is to treat his wife, loving himself in loving her, and how each wife is to honor her husband.

There you have it, just like when Jesus taught us how to pray in 5 short verses (Mt 6:9-13), now Paul shares how to have a happy marriage in 13 short verses (Eph 5:21-33).

This scripture of a good marriage does inspire me to love, cherish and appreciate my wife, BUT I also do see in verse 32 Paul admits.. This is a huge mystery and I don't pretend to understand. Well Paul, welcome to my Marriage Mystery Club with a membership of about a BA-ZILLION!

Marriage truly is a beautiful mystery though our different emotional and processing 'wiring' often do create a few sparks. Just know even in the best of marriages you can count on your share of misunderstandings, hurt feelings, disagreements, a few tears, and if looks could kill..

I WOULD BE DEAD 1000 times over!

In the end most days most of us both love our spouse to death, and are scratching our heads wondering what planet your spouse is from.

May God bless each of you that are married with spouses that are described in Eph 5:21-33, and not Proverbs 21:19.

Jeff

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That day I became.. a WOMAN!

5/21/2017

1 Comment

There was a time in my life not so long ago when I worked from home. While my wife rushed off to work everyday to her job as a school teacher there was no punching a clock or fighting rush hour traffic for me.

I remember back during this time of our lives on a typical morning when the alarm goes off. My wife Mary hops out of bed ready to begin another day of molding young minds. Though I work from home I pop out of bed too so to spend time with Mary and maybe make myself useful. So I shuffle downstairs, start the coffee, let the dogs outside to do their 'bizness' then back in they come to be fed

My wife soon after joins me downstairs to drink coffee, eat some toast, and exchange a little small talk about the upcoming day while the fog lifts from our sleepy brains. After a few minutes my wife starts back upstairs to finish getting ready but on her way up asks with a smile.. “Honey would you fix me a lunch?”

I have grown fond of her over many years of marriage and so I am glad to make myself useful. So off to the kitchen I go where I make a turkey sandwich on whole wheat bread, lettuce, tomato, with mayo just like Mary likes. I also pack a small bag of chips and a couple cookies because she is sweet.

Just a few minutes later Mary rushes back downstairs grabs her keys, lunch (made with love) and gives me a quick kiss as she heads out the door.. This is when I say to her in a very needy tone..

“Call me later.. I miss you when I don’t hear from you. ”

<insert dramatic pause here>

What kind of man says.. “Call me later.. I miss you when I don’t hear from you. ” I can still see those words hanging in the air ( like a cartoon bubble) when it hits me..

I HAVE JUST BECOME A WOMAN!!

This was concerning.. I mean.. I do not suffer from Gender Confusion, I do not watch Ellen, Oprah, Dr. Phil, or hang out with Bruce/Kaitlyn Jenner... I found this moment both ironic and more than a bit CREEPY.

The good news is my wife and I are true partners, and while I share this story with a smirk our roles as husband & wife, and father & mother are not blurred. Ephesians 5:21-33 is our happy goal for a happy marriage.

I pray you all have a very blessed day as I must leave you now to clip coupons, and then do my nails. well.. there I go again!!

Jeff (apron wearing in the Back Pew) Larson

note: In 2015 I sold my business and returned to working a 9-5 job and navigate rush hour traffic. So my modern and caring sensitive guy thingy moments have gone dormant.

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Lone Survivor on Estrogen Island

5/18/2017

1 Comment

Not so long ago in 2014 I lived in a land with my wife, 22 yr old daughter Erin, 84 year old mom Nellie, 2 female dogs Baylie & Pepper, and one female cat Gizmo. I was as I like to aptly describe stranded on Estrogen Island.

This was a lonely time in my life with no one to talk football with as the natives only spoke Estrogenese. Though Estrogenese resembles English in structure but was a dialect ripe with hidden meanings.

No longer did yes, mean yes, or no mean no, and other common words like fine, nothing, whatever, and wow when translated had double and sometimes TRIPLE meanings.

Communication was further complicated when any of the above mentioned key words were used in combination. This was the dreaded DOUBLE AMBIGUOUS.

For example, if I tell my wife I am staying home and watch the baseball game instead of shopping with her she may say.. "fine, whatever." This is a double ambiguous where going to the game is NOT FINE, and WHATEVER.. is the last thing I should consider.

In these cases where I was in trouble (aka Thin Ice) for 'whatever' I learned flowers, jewelry, and watching Downton Abbey with my wife were all acceptable peace offerings. I FELT SO USED.

On Estrogen Island there is also a region once known as the master bathroom sink but has overgrown into a Beauty Labyrinth. It is covered with lotions, potions, brushes, blushes, tweezers, scissors, clippers, makeup, creams, 'smelly stuff', sprays & other misc. items not so easily identified. Leaving me in angst for my daily search in the Labyrinth for my toothbrush. This become a matter of prayer for me.

The Beauty Labyrinth is similar to the mystery of a woman's purse. On the inside of what appears to be a simple handbag you will find cellphones, credit cards, cash, change, coupons, tic-tacs, tylenol, makeup, needle & thread,gum, sunglasses, and a Glock 43 handgun. Move over NRA, Conceal & Carry has a new home.

In summary, not since the Tower of Babel have the languages been so confused.

Since this time on Estrogen Island in 1984 much has changed. My mom passed away, Erin moved out on her own, Pepper & Baylie & Gizmo are all now in pet Heaven (though I am not sure about Gizmo) :) and my wife and I have added a male dog named Cooper.

You would think that would mean in our divided home government Cooper would cast his support to me.. you know guys stick together.. BUT no, Cooper loves Mary and is wary of me. Good news is I have grown fond of Mary and her Estrogen infused ways lest my home look like an extended man cave where heat & serve food would be my go to meal plan.

May God bless you each today with happiness and contentment whether you live on Estrogen Island, or find yourself in Testosteronia. May your interactions with the natives of each be respectful of how God created us each wonderfully different.

Jeff (Survivor) Larson

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It is not good for Man to be Alone, unless..

4/29/2017

0 Comments

It is not good for man to be alone.

Genesis 2:18, God makes this clear just barely into chapter 2 of Genesis.

His socks were all over the Garden. Dirty dishes were everywhere, and all man did was sit around watching ball games on TV telling knock knock jokes.. to himself.

So it was clear then and is now it was not good for man to be alone.. UNLESS his only choice is a NAG Proverbs 21:19.. then God advises..

get a room on the second floor of a one story home. The view is spectacular and the quiet is so welcome. :)

Of course there is much more to be said about God's Gender odd couple by design (man and wife). Both common sense and God's word make this abundantly clear.

One of my favorite verses to take out of context is Ephesians 5:22 Wives SUBMIT to your husbands.

This is a very annoying verse to my wife when I take too long to pause and ponder this 'great' scripture without continuing to read the next 11 verses. I even try to convince her that there are only 22 verses in Ephesians 5. She is not amused.

But when I get serious and take time to read Ephesians 5:21-33 in a modern translation like The Message (MSG) my smirky bell-ringing stereotype of 5:22 goes silent.

21 Out of respect for Christ, be courteously reverent to one another.
22-24 Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. The Husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands.
25-28 Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They’re really doing themselves a favor—since they’re already “one” in marriage.
29-33 No one abuses his own body, does he? No, he feeds and pampers it. That’s how Christ treats us, the church, since we are part of his body. And this is why a man leaves father and mother and cherishes his wife. No longer two, they become “one flesh.” This is a huge mystery, and I don’t pretend to understand it all. What is clearest to me is the way Christ treats the church. And this provides a good picture of how each husband is to treat his wife, loving himself in loving her, and how each wife is to honor her husband.

There you have it, just like when Jesus taught us how to pray in 5 short verses (Mt 6:9-13), now Paul shares how to have a happy marriage in 13 short verses (Eph 5:21-33). side note: I wonder if Matthew offers any advice tax advice.

This beautiful summary of a good marriage does inspire me to love, cherish and appreciate my wife, BUT I also do see in verse 32 Paul writes.. This is a huge mystery and I don't pretend to understand. Ok, I have been told Paul was talking about Christ love for his church, but.. 'A Huge Mystery' does describe marriage too.

Finally, know marriage is a mystery but it is beautiful thoug it is often complicated by the simple 'wiring' differences between man and wife.

You can count on your share of misunderstandings, hurt feelings, disagreements, a few tears, and if looks could kill.. I WOULD BE DEAD!

In the end most days while you love your spouse to death you will be scratching your head wondering what planet your spouse is from.

May God bless each of you that are married with spouses that are described in Eph 5:21-33, and not Proverbs 21:19.

Jeff

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