Cartoonist/Illustrator - Jeff Larson
Minnesota
 Like an ugly ornament I cannot bear to throw away, so is my retelling of a Christmas Concert from a few years back. (It's kind of like the year 2020, UGLY and never forgotten) In December of 2007, my wife and I went on a Christmas date to get the season started, but it did not end up like anything 'dreamed of' by Bing Crosby singing White Christmas. We started the evening with a nice dinner at a local steak house in front of a roaring (gas/fake) fireplace as the weather outside was as the Christmas classic described accurately as frightful. More specifically, it was very COLD. After dinner, we were off to downtown Minneapolis to the Pantages Theatre to listen to an A Cappella group called the Blenders for their Christmas concert. Note: I am not usually an A Capella kinda guy, but I got the tickets for free from my cousin.. and I am a free ticket kinda guy, so I thought I would go where the cool kids go... or something like that.  Gentlemen... start your engines! As we approached downtown, we soon learned parking on a Friday night during the holiday season would not be a picnic. There was a Christmas parade in progress near the theater, so we began driving in a slow-moving car conga line consisting of a series of one-way right-hand turns for about 30 minutes, resulting in us parking about 5 city blocks from the theater, like a slower, colder version of NASCAR without a winner. Once parked, we began our Frozen Mecca to the Pantages Theater, where the air temperature was about 2 below zero and the wind chill was 14 below.  It was Minnesota Fresh! Oh, by the way, we were walking into this wind, not with it. To complicate things for poor little old me, I was not wearing a hat, and my coat was not excellent for MinneFROZEta. Along our walk, we passed by several downtown establishments. One was a gay bar, and then we passed a club advertising topless girls, with the words.. hot, hot, hot over the topless ad. Now, this is where I was tempted.. not to see topless girls.. but I asked my wife since they were hot, maybe we could go in for a moment and warm ourselves with their heat. Honestly, there was no temptation here for me, just an excuse to share another bad pun with my wife so she could roll her frozen eyes at me. Pantages at last! We finally arrived about 15 minutes before the concert began. Shivering and frozen, we bought a $3 cup of coffee from the cash bar in the lobby, which my wife and I took turns holding to keep warm. When another couple entered the theater and sat next to us, they were visibly cold. I offered to let them hold my coffee for $1 apiece. They both laughed, but I did not see what was so funny.  It's SHOWTIME. So inside we go, and the concert begins. The Blenders are very good, but for me, one evening with an A Cappella group will be enough... for my lifetime. The Blenders are 4 guys, I would guess, in their mid to late 30s in suits with choreographed movements like four Caucasian Temptations crooning Christmas songs minus Jesus. To add to the atmosphere, a group of well-dressed professionals filled a large block of seats just before us. I am guessing they were part of a company holiday party dressed in suits and dresses. They were loud, 'notice me types,' which is not my type. Then, during intermission, they all stood in front of my wife, making FULL use of the cash bar in the lobby, and there was also one young, good-looking guy passing a flask with something that I am pretty sure was stronger than 7-Up. After two hours of listening to an A Capella Christmas, we retraced our frozen steps to our car and then headed back to our warm home, free of anyone in my living room passing a flask and standing in front of my TV. So, to sum it all up. We had dinner in front of a fake fire, participated in downtown traffic jams, crowded parking ramps, snow, and ice, and passed by topless & gay bars, all to sit behind loud-drinking young professionals while being entertained by Minnesota Night and the Pips?  The next night... was a more low-key Larson type of Christmas, which we spent with our son Nate, his then-girlfriend Kendra, and our daughter Erin. We listened to Christmas music, made gingerbread cookies, and played the Protestant-approved card game. Rook. It was a great evening, including a mini-fight with flour while making cookies.
And... for anyone by chance from that corporate America party who 'LOUDLY' sat in front of me at the Pantages Theater in 2007, I am sorry you missed out on my great Saturday night making cookies with my family. Then again, the risk of flour fingerprints on your $500 suits and the probability of gingerbread crumbs falling into the cleavage (front or back) of your black, backless & low-cut dresses without a flask in sight would not be what all would call fun. Merry Christmas Blessings. May your family times be warm and... A Capella free! Jeff 12/11/2023 My Dog almost ate Baby Jesus! Note: I have a Christmas tradition to retell when my dog almost ate Baby Jesus. It is like watching a Charlie Brown Christmas or It's a Wonderful Life.. for DOGS. Dateline December 2004: My wife Mary and I display several nativity sets each Christmas season. The year 2004 was a Christmas season like most all the others, EXCEPT our year-and-a-half-old dog Baylie (Husky Springer Spaniel mix) still liked to chew on things that were not her designated chew toys. One of those items is my kneaded eraser, which I use when drawing my cartoons, which looks like a lump of clay. Baylie would sneak it off my desk and chew it up but never swallow it. Leaving a mangled pile of eraser fragments on the family room floor. I push the crumbs back together and continue to use them. I know, I know... Ewwwww!! But she cleans the pencil lead out of it, and dog drool is an active agent in making the eraser. Now, in the year 2022, my dog, Cooper, does the same thing! BUT I DIGRESS.  Back to the Larson Nativity sets. One afternoon in December 2004, my wife and I came home to what looked like a Nativity Mob Kill scene. The wooden cart from the stable was in pieces, a shepherd was lying face down on the coffee table, and a baby sheep fell off the table and onto the living room carpet. I can’t imagine the horror in the eyes of the 3 wise men who traveled so far only to see Baylie walk off with Baby Jesus in the clutches of her jaw. The question remained: why?
 Good News: A short time later, the 'baby Jesus' hostage crisis ended. The son of God in ceramic form was returned to his ceramic parents, Mary & Joseph, who were beside themselves with worry. Baylie was thankful God did not strike her with lightning, which was within His right. I mean... He is God. But.. just a couple weeks later, Baylie was shocked (literally) when she chewed the lights on our Christmas tree. Coincidence? I think not. Moral of the story. If you really love Jesus, don’t risk God revoking your ticket to Heaven just because your nativity sets are low enough for Baby Jesus to be mauled by the family dog. AND.. just like Baylie could not get Jesus in her heart by eating a figurine, neither can any of us have Jesus in our hearts just by going to church.
May this Christmas be a peaceful season of adoration and personal faith where Jesus is in our hearts, not just our nativity sets. Christmas Blessings Jeff 12/5/2023 The Northwoods Angel Aka, The Northwoods Good Samaritan. This story is near and dear to my heart, and I make a point to share it almost every December. THIS WAS NOW 22 YEARS AGO! Back in December of 2001, on the roads of ice and snow near Hayward, Wisconsin, a young mom with her preschool children loaded in the family car was heading home to the nearby town of Drummond when she spotted an older man with the hood up on his car along the side of the road. This was a typical bitter cold December day, but though she had her young children with her, she was impressed enough to stop and see if she could help. As she pulled over, the old man approached her car. She cautiously locks her doors and rolls down her window slightly to ask for help. The old man does not speak, tries to open the door, then reaches inside his coat, making her uneasy. The old man pulls out a small keyboard from his jacket and plays a pre-typed short message explaining that he has ALS (Lou Gehrig’s Disease), so he cannot speak. He then types that he needs a ride into town. The young woman opens her car to the old man she does not know and drives him home. This old man was my father, Walter Larson, and the young woman was Jen Herricks, and Jen was the Good Samaritan of Northern Wisconsin 2001. I wonder how many cars drove by before Jen stopped to help. How many macho Northwoods guys in their 4x4 trucks went by too busy to help an old man stranded on a bitterly cold winter day? Maybe none, but perhaps many, but no matter, my dad was cared for by someone with a warm car and a kind heart.  Jen later explained to my mom that she thought my dad was an angel. There are a few explanations, but my dad… an angel. A good guy for sure, but an angel? Maybe an angel was standing alongside my dad that cold December day, or perhaps it was the peace Dad demonstrated just months before passing on to Heaven. Either way, today was a divine appointment with an angel named Jen. I love the gospel passage Mt 25:35-40ish “You fed me when I was hungry, you clothed me when I was naked.” If the gospels were written today, they would also say, “You gave me a ride when I was an old man when my car broke down on a winter road in Wisconsin. When you do these things for the least of my people, you do it for me.” So, Jen gives my dad a ride home. He offers her money, she refuses, and they go their separate ways. Nice Story, BUT... IT'S NOT OVER! A few weeks later, my folks received a Christmas card from Jen, wishing and praying the best for them. This was a nice touch, too, BUT again... THIS STORY IS NOT OVER! Just a couple short months later, my dad passed away from his battle with ALS. The funeral was a celebration of the good man my dad was and his reward in Heaven. 'Irony' or providence has it, Jen and her family began attending my mom and dad's church in Cable, Wisconsin, still not realizing the connection. After a short time, it became clear to Jen that my mom attends this same church, so Jen contacted my mom, and they reunited often as they became friends... great friends. When Jen came to visit Mom, it was with hugs and kisses reserved generally for family, and her kids called her Grandma Nell. This friendship that God provided Jen with my mom as a ‘seasoned’ Christian woman to talk to and my mom's companionship of this young woman with a growing passion for God.  Even after Jen's family moved 70 miles away, their friendship continued. Then, a few years later, my mom moved 150 miles to Minnesota, where my family could better care for her, but their friendship did not miss a best. Jen would plan weekend visits, bringing a number of her kids along to sleepovers, and their visits included board games where everyone was involved. My mom passed away in December 2016, but you cannot take away the blessing of their friendship when my dad's car broke down 15 years earlier  Today, Jen and her husband Todd serve the Lord in Uganda with their ministry.
'Woven2gether'' serves expecting mothers, valuing the born and preborn and growing strong families while sharing the Gospel. In December 2022, Jen and Todd adopted Caleb Kica HERRICKS while serving in Uganda! Thank you, Jen and Todd. May God bless and use you both in ways beyond your dreams. And I am sure as I end this blog... THIS STORY IS NOT OVER Blessings, Jeff 12/4/2023 Get out of Town! A Christmas Story The Coffee Maker in the workplace is often the typical place for socializing. While pouring a cup of caffeinated fuel, there is talk about the big football game on Sunday, sharing vacation plans, while some are brave enough to discuss politics and/or religion and have lived to tell the tale. In the same way, the coffee maker at church is a place where friends catch up on each other's lives while a few may feel compelled to share the height and depths of weighty 'spiritual' matters.  So imagine the buzz around the coffee maker in HEAVEN.. a little over 2000 years ago when God's plan for ‘saving’ mankind was revealed? SETTING: It was just another day at the 'office' when Larry and Betty met at 'Heaven's Coffee Maker' for their morning cup of Joe. Larry the Angel: "Hey Betty, did you hear the latest about the boss's plan for saving the world?" Betty The Angel: "No, so what's up?"  Larry the Angel: "Well, rumor has it, Jesus Christ will come to earth as a child born of a virgin in a barn and sleep in a feeding trough for animals. His birth will not be proclaimed to the world, but to... get this... shepherds." And a few smart guys from the East. Betty The Angel: "Shepherds? .. right." Larry the Angel: "No, it's true, and Jesus will be raised by a common carpenter and his wife" for almost 30 years in rural Israel.  Betty The Angel: " Good one, and so being a carpenter, Jesus will build his father's kingdom." LOL. Carpenter... build it... Get it? Larry the Angel: "I know this sounds bizarre, but I heard it all from a reliable source. And that's not all. Next, Jesus will choose 12 men to assist him as key members of his kingdom movement." Betty The Angel: "You mean like a presidential cabinet of sorts? Made up of priests, rabbis, maybe a few influential politicians, and some kind of minister of defense would seem reasonable. Larry the Angel: "No, .. they are mostly fishermen." Betty The Angel: "I see, Fishermen... So far, we have Jesus born in a barn in obscurity except to shepherds, and his critical years of development to be the King and Savior are spent as a carpenter instead of a seminary? Larry the Angel: "I know, I know....but that's not all. Next, Jesus will take on the established religious community. He will challenge and mock their pious rules and motives, which flies like a politically incorrect Lead Balloon." Betty The Angel: "Well, if this is true, what else could they expect. Now, who is it you said you heard this all from? Were you not talking to Cliffy from the mail room again? I know this is Heaven, but Cliff is full of it, and by 'it,' I do NOT mean Spirit. Larry the Angel: "No, Betty, it wasn't Cliff; it was from a reliable source. Now be quiet for a minute and let me finish.. then you can let your jaw drop to the floor... because there is more." Betty The Angel: [ Betty motions that she is zipping her lip and smiles.. in silence ]  Larry the Angel: "All this leads to a final week when the salvation message is realized. Jesus, in this unconventional plan, lulls the leaders of the day into .. falsely arresting him and mocking him; he is beaten and whipped to the point of death. Then, to a jeering crowd, he is led up to a hill where he is crucified as a common criminal while being rejected by the people he came to save... JUST THE WAY HE PLANNED IT." Larry the Angel: Of course, Jesus will not stay dead. He will rise from the dead, but not everyone will witness this. So, believing in Jesus and accepting his free gift of salvation will be a matter of choice and will require personal faith in things not seen. Betty The Angel: [still silent, Betty stands with her arms crossed] Larry the Angel: "That's it, Betty, believe me or not.. that is God's honest truth (no pun intended)." <pause> "OK, now you can speak." Betty The Angel: I don't know who put you up to this.. but I would NOT tell these wild tales to anyone else... This is all CRAZY TALK.. and I have better things to do with my time. Next time you learn any more 'Revelations' .. get it in writing on God's very own BLESSED executive stationery! Next time, consider your sources before swallowing it all: hook, line, and sinker. Betty walks away, shaking her head. Larry refilled his coffee cup and returned to work, perplexed about why Betty did not believe him. Ok, it may have played out differently than this. Still, the story of Jesus from the virgin birth that first Christmas and his 30 years on Earth culminating with his resurrection from the grave is God's beautifully unexpected story of salvation.  So next time at work, when you are getting your coffee refill, ponder the great news of God's salvation plan that began that first Christmas.
PS - Share the Good News! Jeff ( a lot lower than the angels) Larson 12/3/2023 Deer Hunting in Deer Pants? I grew up in 'rural' Wisconsin where the deer (but no antelope) played until...that appointed time in November when the good men and women of the Northwoods dress all in orange and express their inner Elmer Fudd (the hunter). Looking maybe like Hare Krishnas with Guns? November 18-26 was rifle season for 2023 in Wisconsin, so if any deer are reading this... CONGRATULATIONS, you made it through another year. Now, remember to stay off the highways. Now let me segue from the gun-toting mentioned above Wisconsin venue to Psalms 42:1. As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God.  Of course, my cartoonist brain pictures DEER PANTS as waders worn by deer as they live in the great outdoors, with lakes, rivers, and bogs for water, keeping their little hoofies from getting pruny. Or.. Bucky Boucher is like Bobby Boucher, aka 'Waterboy' or, in this case, Waterbuck.. who knows quality H2o when he sees it. Now let me safely but 'awkwardly' segue BACK from dry hoofies to the vital truth of Psalms 42:1. As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God.  This desire for God should be our #1 pursuit, BUT what does it look like to desire the Lord that way? Recently, my wife and I had dinner with my brother-in-law and sister-in-law and we discussed Psalm 37:4- Take.delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4 raises the question, just like Psalm 42:1. What does genuinely delighting in the Lord look like? I know it is a beautiful verse to read, but does it describe my soul's desire. Do I delight in the Lord, and if so, what do the true desires of my heart look like? The desires of this world appear to be greed, power, status, and pleasure with very few boundaries. It goes without saying Christians should not share these desires of the world. So, what are these Godly desires of my heart? Godly desires will bring you... the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Phillippians 4:7  What would be the result if these Psalms measured my pursuit of and love for God? Does my soul desire God? Do I delight in Him? Or does this pursuit of God get derailed after a long day of doing life with this or that crisis and/or perceived crisis? Where is my delight and my desire? It takes a concerted effort to focus while living amid the clutter of this 24/7 rush hour distracted world. Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Mt 6:10. This part of the Lord's Prayer should be foremost and paramount in our minds, hearts, and will. Next... more good instruction from the Apostle Paul Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Philippians 4:8 To Put this all together... To fit the desire and discipline of Phil 4:8 perfectly with a soul that desires Ps 42:1 and delights Ps 37:4 in the Lord while seeking His will Mt 6:10. This will result in a life with the Peace described in Phil 4:7,  But honestly, the above scripture truths are easier said than done. This world muddles truth and reality with its barrage of 24/7 news propaganda and social media narratives against God and painting traditional Christian values as hate speech. But if we seek God with all our hearts, souls, and minds, and love others as ourselves, Mark 12:30-31 the rest will be trivia by comparison, and then we can be content no matter our circumstance.  I know what it is to be in need and what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well-fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength! Philippians 4:11-13
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways, submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6 May God bless each of you in your pursuit of Him. There is no more excellent pursuit than our creator. Come thirsty, and stay.. satisfied. Jeff (not hunting) Larson |
AuthorThe mutterings on life and faith by cartoonist Jeff Larson Archives
September 2024
Categories
All
|
RSS Feed
|
Back Pew - Draw Close to God
My Book- 116 pages of cartoons of 'Clean Humor & God's Truth' CRITICS ARE SAYING.
|
LAUGHTER is just a click away
|
©2019 Jeff Larson - All Rights Reserved
12/17/2023
1 Comment