Cartoonist/Illustrator - Jeff Larson
Minnesota
SUPPORT
BP
  • HOME
  • BIBLE
    • OLD TESTAMENT >
      • LAW >
        • Genesis >
          • Genesis - Garden of Eden
          • Genesis after the Garden
          • Noah
          • Abraham
          • Isaac, Jacob, and Esau
          • Joseph
        • Exodus >
          • Exodus - text & toon
        • Leviticus
        • Numbers
        • Deuteronomy
      • HISTORY >
        • Joshua and Judges
        • 1 Samuel
        • 1 Samuel - David and Goliath
        • I & II Kings
        • Nehemiah
      • POETRY >
        • Job
        • Psalms
        • Proverbs
        • Ecclesiastes
        • Song of Solomon
      • PROPHETS >
        • MAJOR PROPHETS >
          • ISAIAH
          • Jeremiah, Daniel, Ezekiel, Lamentations
        • MINOR PROPHETS (ie Jonah)
    • NEW TESTAMENT >
      • GOSPELS
      • Acts
      • EPISTLES OF PAUL >
        • Romans
        • 1st Corinthians
        • 2nd Corinthians
        • Galatians
        • Ephesians
        • Philippians
        • Colossians, Thessalonias, Timothy, Titus, Philemon
      • GENERAL LETTERS >
        • Hebrews
        • James
        • 1 Peter, 2 Peter, 1 John, 2 John, 3 John, Jude
      • Revelations
  • CHURCH & FAMILY
    • CHURCH >
      • Preachers & Pastors
      • Worship
      • Church People
      • Baptism
      • Communion
      • Offerings, Giving & Tithing
      • Church Potluck
      • Coffee
      • The Church Body
      • Theology & Church History
      • Sunday School & Kids Ministry
    • FAMILY >
      • Dating & Marriage
      • Parents - Moms & Dads
      • Senior Citizens
  • FAITH WALK
    • PERSONAL >
      • BIBLE Reading
      • PRAYER
      • PRAISE
      • PURSUIT of God
      • Diet & Exercise
      • MONEY & Budget
    • SERVING - God & Others
    • SHARING - the gospel
    • The Christian Battle
    • ANGER v PEACE
    • Worry - stress, anxiety, etc
    • Faith
    • Forgiveness
    • Honesty
    • Temptation
    • The Holy Spirit - Gifts & Fruit
  • MISC.
    • ANIMALS >
      • HOUSE PETS >
        • Dogs
        • Cat
      • FARM ANIMALS >
        • Cows
        • Horse & Donkey & Camels?
        • Pigs & Hogs
        • POULTRY - Turkeys & Chickens
        • Sheep
      • Birds
      • Fish
      • WILDLIFE - deer, moose, bears, etc
      • Mosquito
      • Reptile - snakes, turtles, etc
    • TECHNOLOGY >
      • Computer
      • Smartphones & telephony
      • SCIENCE - math, cosmology, etc
      • TV - audio & video
    • Minnesota >
      • Snowman
    • Canada
    • Cars & Driving
    • Dear Crabby
    • Fashion
    • Politics and Elections
    • Redneck
    • Schools & Teachers cartoons
    • SICKNESS >
      • COVID-19 cartoons aka Coronavirus cartoons
  • HOLIDAYS
    • New Years Day
    • Valentines Day
    • St Patrick's Day
    • April Fools Day
    • Tax Day
    • Earth Day
    • Holy Week >
      • Palm Sunday
      • Last Supper & Gethsemane
      • Good Friday
      • EASTER
    • Mothers Day
    • Fathers Day
    • Memorial Day
    • 4th of July
    • Halloween
    • Veterens Day
    • Thanksgiving
    • CHRISTMAS - JESUS
    • CHRISTMAS - Santa >
      • Stocking Stuffers
  • SPORTS
    • OUTDOOR Sports >
      • Camping
      • Fishing
      • Hunting
    • TEAM Sports >
      • Baseball & Softball
      • Basketball
      • Football
      • ( FOOTBALL ) Packers & Vikings
      • Soccer
    • Running
    • Fighting
    • OTHER sports
  • ETERNITY
    • Heaven is home
    • Hell
  • More
    • Using Cartoons
    • SUPPORT
    • Bad Back Pew Support
    • Comments Welcome
  • BLOG
  • HOME
  • BIBLE
    • OLD TESTAMENT >
      • LAW >
        • Genesis >
          • Genesis - Garden of Eden
          • Genesis after the Garden
          • Noah
          • Abraham
          • Isaac, Jacob, and Esau
          • Joseph
        • Exodus >
          • Exodus - text & toon
        • Leviticus
        • Numbers
        • Deuteronomy
      • HISTORY >
        • Joshua and Judges
        • 1 Samuel
        • 1 Samuel - David and Goliath
        • I & II Kings
        • Nehemiah
      • POETRY >
        • Job
        • Psalms
        • Proverbs
        • Ecclesiastes
        • Song of Solomon
      • PROPHETS >
        • MAJOR PROPHETS >
          • ISAIAH
          • Jeremiah, Daniel, Ezekiel, Lamentations
        • MINOR PROPHETS (ie Jonah)
    • NEW TESTAMENT >
      • GOSPELS
      • Acts
      • EPISTLES OF PAUL >
        • Romans
        • 1st Corinthians
        • 2nd Corinthians
        • Galatians
        • Ephesians
        • Philippians
        • Colossians, Thessalonias, Timothy, Titus, Philemon
      • GENERAL LETTERS >
        • Hebrews
        • James
        • 1 Peter, 2 Peter, 1 John, 2 John, 3 John, Jude
      • Revelations
  • CHURCH & FAMILY
    • CHURCH >
      • Preachers & Pastors
      • Worship
      • Church People
      • Baptism
      • Communion
      • Offerings, Giving & Tithing
      • Church Potluck
      • Coffee
      • The Church Body
      • Theology & Church History
      • Sunday School & Kids Ministry
    • FAMILY >
      • Dating & Marriage
      • Parents - Moms & Dads
      • Senior Citizens
  • FAITH WALK
    • PERSONAL >
      • BIBLE Reading
      • PRAYER
      • PRAISE
      • PURSUIT of God
      • Diet & Exercise
      • MONEY & Budget
    • SERVING - God & Others
    • SHARING - the gospel
    • The Christian Battle
    • ANGER v PEACE
    • Worry - stress, anxiety, etc
    • Faith
    • Forgiveness
    • Honesty
    • Temptation
    • The Holy Spirit - Gifts & Fruit
  • MISC.
    • ANIMALS >
      • HOUSE PETS >
        • Dogs
        • Cat
      • FARM ANIMALS >
        • Cows
        • Horse & Donkey & Camels?
        • Pigs & Hogs
        • POULTRY - Turkeys & Chickens
        • Sheep
      • Birds
      • Fish
      • WILDLIFE - deer, moose, bears, etc
      • Mosquito
      • Reptile - snakes, turtles, etc
    • TECHNOLOGY >
      • Computer
      • Smartphones & telephony
      • SCIENCE - math, cosmology, etc
      • TV - audio & video
    • Minnesota >
      • Snowman
    • Canada
    • Cars & Driving
    • Dear Crabby
    • Fashion
    • Politics and Elections
    • Redneck
    • Schools & Teachers cartoons
    • SICKNESS >
      • COVID-19 cartoons aka Coronavirus cartoons
  • HOLIDAYS
    • New Years Day
    • Valentines Day
    • St Patrick's Day
    • April Fools Day
    • Tax Day
    • Earth Day
    • Holy Week >
      • Palm Sunday
      • Last Supper & Gethsemane
      • Good Friday
      • EASTER
    • Mothers Day
    • Fathers Day
    • Memorial Day
    • 4th of July
    • Halloween
    • Veterens Day
    • Thanksgiving
    • CHRISTMAS - JESUS
    • CHRISTMAS - Santa >
      • Stocking Stuffers
  • SPORTS
    • OUTDOOR Sports >
      • Camping
      • Fishing
      • Hunting
    • TEAM Sports >
      • Baseball & Softball
      • Basketball
      • Football
      • ( FOOTBALL ) Packers & Vikings
      • Soccer
    • Running
    • Fighting
    • OTHER sports
  • ETERNITY
    • Heaven is home
    • Hell
  • More
    • Using Cartoons
    • SUPPORT
    • Bad Back Pew Support
    • Comments Welcome
  • BLOG
Picture

6/27/2022

0 Comments

A Woman's Purse

 
Picture
I was in our master bathroom where around the bathroom vanity there were 29 separate items.. four of which were mine.  I have a razor, toothbrush, deodorant, and toothpaste (the toothpaste I share with my wife).. the rest belong to my bride. 

Included in the other 25 or so items is a bag of makeup… so in reality the total is much more one sided.  

BUT.. if I trim my beard and a few whiskers are left around the sink.. the countenance of my bride darkens… but

do I ever complain about ‘OUR’ bathroom vanity covered with a cosmetology collective of spray bottles, brushes, lip STUFF, hair dryers and the like??  Do I?? <pause>

Oh wait, I guess I am now.. BUT NOT TO HER FACE… so that does not count.


Picture
This brings me to a similar subject.. a ‘WOMAN'S PURSE’. ​

To me this is much like a Magician’s Hat.. where my wife will ask me for example to get her car keys from her purse for her.  I cringe as I know THIS WILL NOT BE EASY.. so with my mouth hanging open, and my brow furrowed I look inside into the unending collection of ‘necessities’.. A LADY'S LABYRINTH of no end!

Even though her purse is very typical in size.. when you look inside it seems to go on forever.  I finally closed my eyes, reached in and pulled out a rabbit, but no car keys.  She then smirks, reached in her purse without taking her eyes off me and retrieves her keys with a look that said to me “are you blind?”  

Another time when looking for a blessed stick of gum I caught a glimpse of what I believe was a secret passage to the Land of Narnia behind her cellphone, tic tacs, and what appeared to be a magnum 44 hand gun.. but I found the gum became distracted and lost sight of the Narnia portal.

​Also, there is a third mystery I would like to share..


Picture
READY, SET, GO!
With my razor, toothbrush, deodorant, and a clean pair of jeans 
I can be ready for church in less than 15 minutes from shower to starting the car.. while my wife the process is a tad longer..  A REALLY BIG TAD. 

I mean.. Mary must choose between outfits to wear, and does not use the guy-proven method of preparation which is … wear what is clean OR.. do the quick smell test if we are not sure if that shirt left on the floor the other week is still ok for a little Sunday morning hand raising. Then again, Mary does look and smell better than me... but if it were a race, the safe money is on me.


So what is my spiritual message today?  <insert reflective pause here> Maybe if for no other reason man and woman are meant for each other so.. guys don't go to church dressed like the fella in the above picture.. and men are good for woman to.. umm.. to.. umm.. kill and/or protect the fairer sex from mice and spiders?  .. and open jars. YES, we are good at opening jars.

That's all I got, I am drawing a blank.

Picture
Seriously, may God bless and use each of you today in ways that are beyond your dreams.  For you ladies may you find your bathroom vanities whisker free, and your man willing and able to navigate the Estrogen Ocean of your purse without making any comments.

Jeff (Survivor on Estrogen Island) Larson

0 Comments

6/26/2022

2 Comments

Marriage is a Beautiful Mystery

 
Picture
It is not good for man to be alone. God decided this before the ink dried when writing second chapter of Genesis was penned.  Genesis 2:18 

​Adam's socks were all over the Garden.  Dirty dishes were everywhere, and all man did was sit around watching ball games on TV telling knock knock jokes.. to himself. 

​Besides, Adam was not even using that rib.
​

Note: It is not good for man to be alone?  Or is it not good for man to be 'unsupervised'? This question was raised by a reader the last time I posted this blog topic.


Picture

So it was clear then and is now it was not good for man to be alone UNLESS his only choice is a described in Proverbs 21:19.. then God advises.. get a room on the second floor of a one story home.   The view is spectacular and the quiet is so .. quiet.

Of course there is  much more to be said about God's Gender Odd Couple (man & wife). Both common sense and God's word make this abundantly clear.  



Picture
One of my favorite verses to take out of context is Ephesians 5:22 Wives SUBMIT to your husbands.  
​

This is an annoying verse to my wife Mary when I take too long to pause and ponder this 'great' scripture without continuing to read the next 11 verses.  I even try to convince her that there are only 22 verses in Ephesians 5.  She is not amused proving women have no true sense of humor.

But when I get serious and take time to read Ephesians 5:21-33 in a modern translation like The Message (MSG) my smirky bell-ringing stereotype of 5:22 goes silent. 

21 Out of respect for Christ, be courteously reverent to one another.


22-24 Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. The Husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands.

25-28 
Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They’re really doing themselves a favor—since they’re already “one” in marriage.

29-33 
No one abuses his own body, does he? No, he feeds and pampers it. That’s how Christ treats us, the church, since we are part of his body. And this is why a man leaves father and mother and cherishes his wife. No longer two, they become “one flesh.” 

This is a huge mystery
, and I don’t pretend to understand it all. What is clearest to me is the way Christ treats the church. And this provides a good picture of 
how each husband is to treat his wife, loving himself in loving her, and how each wife is to honor her husband.

There you have it, just like when Jesus taught us how to pray in 5 short verses (Mt 6:9-13), now Paul shares how to have a happy marriage in 13 short verses (Eph 5:21-33).  
This scripture of a good marriage does inspire me to love, cherish and appreciate my wife, BUT I also do see in verse 32 Paul admits.. This is a huge mystery and I don't pretend to understand. Well Paul, welcome to my Marriage Mystery Club with a membership of about a BA-ZILLION!

Picture
Marriage truly is a beautiful mystery though our different emotional and processing 'wiring' often do create a few sparks.  Just know even in the best of marriages you can count on your share of misunderstandings, hurt feelings, disagreements, a few tears, and if looks could kill..
​
​I WOULD BE DEAD 1000 times over!
 
​

​​In the end most days most of us both love our spouse to death, and are scratching our heads wondering what planet they are from.

May God bless each of you that are married with spouses that are described in Eph 5:21-33, and not Proverbs 21:19.  

​Jeff

final note: It has been a tough year for me physically (3 surgeries, and a hospital stay) and.. I turn 65 shortly. BUT in this year of pondering life I thank God to have been involved in this beautiful mystery with my beautiful wife for almost 38 years. I truly thank God for my wife as she is the blessing to me that I truly cherish.

2 Comments

6/15/2022

0 Comments

Flawed Folk Fellowship

 
Picture
Let me start today with a good ol' Protestant Brag.
​

I have attend church most every week, and not just Sunday mornings, I often go on Wednesdays too.  I accepted Jesus into my heart at age 6, was baptized at age 14, and have been married to a wonderful Christian woman for almost 38 years!  You see, I AM ONE OF THE GOOD GUYS.

​Besides going to church, I work hard, pay my bills, and have endured rush hour traffic that would tempt Mother Theresa's to swear like a sailor.


Picture
I aspire to be like Jesus and so again.. I declare.. "I am a pretty pretty good guy." BUT.. (NEWS FLASH) I am really any better than those who never darken the door of a local church. Let's just say I am a lifelong member of the 'Flawed Folk Fellowship'.

The friendly members of 'Flawed Folk Fellowship' are known for their welcoming slogan 'No Perfect People Allowed' but this also could serve as a disclaimer much like you hear at the end of one of those prescription med TV ads.

​CURElanta may be right for you. <pause> BUT.. some
 taking CURElanta "may experience tingling toes, a bloody nose, itchy ears, swollen rear, and.. in extreme cases DEATH or worse.  


Picture
Our Flawed Folk disclaimer could be .. In some cases those attending Flawed Folk Fellowship experience involuntary hand raising, amen vocalizations and often the compulsive utterance of  a hallelujah. On other Sundays sermon snoring may occur.

All silliness aside.. there are two recurring comments you hear regarding us Flawed Folk.
  1. Christians are such hypocrites?  Ok, Christians do struggle with the same issues as non-Christians and human nature is to hide our failures.  So hypocrisy, or at least a cover up of sorts does happen. Just being honest.
  2. Christians are not perfect, just forgiven. Beyond being a clever bumper sticker we find God's  Amazing Grace for the repentant heart, and this great love is the hope for mankind.​
    ​
So I joyfully confess I am a part of a Flawed Folk Fellowship.  There is no better place to worship & give thanks to our God for the blessings 'and trials' of life.  There is no place to be than worshiping God together sharing and praying to our loving Father who cares. To become a community of other 'repentant' flawed believers in our sincere attempt to be church family.. aka the body of Christ.  

Picture

​My prayer for each of you today is to find your own Flawed Folk Fellowship. To share, and support each other in our struggles, and to worship together the one true God of our Bibles is priceless.  

Jeff (faulty) Larson

0 Comments

6/14/2022

1 Comment

The Return of  the ME-MONSTER

 
Picture
It's the summer of 2022 and it is .. The Return of the Me-Monster! Like a B-movie horror flick sequel, He (Me) is back, and bigger than ever!
​
Me, myself, and I.  Me.. me.. me. , What about me? , What's in it for ME?

The Me-Monster is inspired by a sermon I heard a few years back The Me-Monster on when our self-focus becomes.. excessive. 

Mr. Me-Monster is an ugly fella, and even his open mouth resembles an M, and the back of his throat an E. 


And.. when our motives, and focus demonstrate a ME-FIRST attitude our mis-focused spirits can be just as ugly.

​Turn on the TV and we see ME-Folk flaunting  success, possessions, and attitudes of self-importance everywhere. You don't have to look far to see celebrities, athletes, and politicians out there in front of the camera sharing their pious golden nuggets of 'truth' to the masses fawning for adoration... all while you can hear the wind whistling through their ears past their empty thoughts.

Even in the Church.. beware of teachings with promises of health, wealth, and SELF. Be your best you now instead of first focusing on the worship and obedience to the God we owe everything.


Today's measures success are the car you drive, your home, career, a trophy wife or hubby with good looking kids on the honor roll, and captain of their sports teams. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with any of these things unless it is the product of a me-monster me first priorities.
Picture
Personally I have more of an econo-sized Me-Monster.  My monster does not get identity from a high profile existence, nor does my life check all the boxes above of how society measures success, but my me-monster still likes to be known even if on a budget.

You see, I care what others think about me, and to be viewed as successful. I desire to have friends, and of course I seek the love of my wife, my children, grandchildren, and I  do not want to be known for my past failings.  


Again, I should desire to seek God to know His love and Grace, and to seek God's approval instead of the approval of our Me-First society.

In fact any level of success or any talents I have are from the Lord. So who is any man to boast. 
For who sees anything different in you? What do you have that you did not receive? If then you received it, why do you boast as if you did not receive it? 1 Cor 4:7

Heavenly Father I pray for your Spirit to lead your people to demonstrate a servant's heart focused on KNOWING YOU and caring for others.
'Love God with all your soul and mind and others as yourself.' Mt 22:37.   

Picture
May God bless and use each of us in ways that are beyond our dreams for His glory not our own. May our lives build  God's Kingdom and not our own.  And may you be Me-Monster free.

​Jeff

                     The Apostle Paul lived free of Me-Monsters -->

1 Comment

6/10/2022

1 Comment

The Resounding Silence of God

 
Picture
Max Lucado wrote a book in 1994 titled ''When God whispers your name'.  It is a great read with his usual humor and spiritual insights, but my question is..

What happens when God whispers my name but .. I am hard of hearing, or maybe God simply remains silent?  Truth is I do wear hearing aides.

Not so many years ago I weathered personal hurricane force storms in back to back years.  My finances, health, and spirit were challenged and I didn't know if I would survive the first year's storm only to be windblown and tattered the next year too.  I have never despaired more in my life.
​

Picture
Let me tell you I literally sobbed, and cried out to God for HELP. I wanted God to calm these storms, but my prayers were met with His resounding SILENCE. 

Why, O Lord, do you stand far away? Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble? Ps 10:1
​

My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, from the words of my groaning?  O my God, I cry by day, but you do not answer, and by night, but I find no rest. Ps 22:1-2


Picture
​I admit my cries to God were not as eloquent as when David penned the above Psalms, but I shed enough literal tears to warrant flood insurance.
  
Side note on Crying: 
When a woman cries we feel empathy as her deep emotions touch our hearts.  
When a man cries it sounds like a wounded Badger caught in a trap trying to gnaw off his leg in a short sighted attempt to escape his pain.  Those in ear shot want to put that badger out of his misery, and the crying men.. STOP IT! 


​but I digress..


Picture
Now back to my storms..
During these stormy days I discovered God's providence/answers were found in His silence. During my storms I needed to experience the full impact of my situation including my mistakes and their circumstances.

note: There is an infinite difference between God not ignoring my prayers and God being silent as an answer. 

God was with me the whole time, but pain and reflection was important for me to grow on a true path of restoration.  A genie in a lamp with three hot wishes available was NOT what I needed.


Life rains on the just and the unjust Mt. 5:45, the Jeffs and the unJeffs!


Picture

​We all know the story of Peter walking on water until he took his eyes off Jesus and focused on those very real waves.. and began to sink. 

​Just like Peter those the very real waves in my life overwhelmed me because I did not put my trust in the man who walks on water and calms the seas.


The good news is I endured those stormy years and learned over time how faithful and loving God was and is.  

The details of my storm(s) are not important except to share a lesson learned when God seems silent.  “Be still, and know that He is God." Ps 46:10


Picture

​This is my prayer for you too. Be still, be faithful, be listening, be prayerfully try to remain peaceful even when you experience God's Resounding Silence.

Blessings

​Jeff (wearing my Hearing Aids) Larson

1 Comment

6/8/2022

0 Comments

So Earthly Minded.. still?

 
Picture

​I like the old saying ‘That guy is so Heavenly minded, he is no Earthly good.’ This describes a person is so in to church and ‘churchy’ things that they don’t add much value or function outside of church walls.  He can barely change a light bulb or change the oil on his car.

Over the years I have smirked at a person or twenty that fits that description, BUT I also see the irony in too many people are so 'EARTHLY' minded to be much 'HEAVENLY' GOOD. 
​

Picture
It's just too easy to be caught up in the pace and 'stuff' of life (good and bad) to where God is put on the back burner. Instead of starting my day quiet before God, reading my Bible, and even uttering a simple prayer I am off cluttering my life with the very real demands of work, rush hour traffic, wasting time surfing channels on my big screen HD TV, or my many many many family commitments to where I have become more EARTHLY minded/focused to be much HEAVENLY good.

The real irony here is.. I often drift from God NOT when I am too busy or stressed but instead when life is good. No immediate worries or concerns so I relax my dependence, praise and appreciation of God to again become so earthly minded with erroneous feelings of self sufficiency.


Picture
I don’t believe my life is called to look as out of place like Amish folk selling home crafts in Las Vegas.. but I desire my personal faith show through in all that I do and say.

​May your life be blessed and USED by God in ways that are BEYOND YOUR DREAMS having both Heaven and Earth in mind.  

Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven. Mt. 6:10

Jeff

0 Comments

6/6/2022

0 Comments

God.. and Rescue Dogs

 
Picture
My wife and I have a rescue dog named Cooper and I have written a 'beautiful' poem that captures my life with him.

Ode to Cooper
Cooper is our little rescue dog;
there's no doubt he LOVES my wife Mary,.
BUT despite the fact I rescued him;
​.. for me.. Cooper is still wary. 

I so want Cooper to love me too..
but he's a work in progress..
You see Cooper does not trust me ..
leaving me judged without due process.        

Thank you, thank you

But then I stop and realize.. I am SORTA a rescue dog too. 


Picture
For  example, in this big old bad world I might turn on the evening news and .. I get uneasy as I can sense the tension EVERYWHERE. So I start to growl at partisan politics as I pace the room.

My demeanor only gets worse as these 'News SHOWS' spew hatred, racism, and violence all wrapped in their biased narrative void of truth leaving me finally in a state ..

​out of control barking my panic and distrust of this world
.  ​



Picture
This state of panic and unease over just the evening news can leave me in reality wary of .. God.  He is my perfect loving Heavenly Father, Jesus my Savior, and the Holy Spirit my comforter. My God is my RESCUER from both the  evening  news and  anything else found in this broken world.  But still I bark.

So just like Cooper I need to chill. Chill and realize this broken world is the result of man's free will, and compromised desires.  This brokenness was never a part of God's plan, and my hope is NOT found in this world.  

So chill Jeff, and realize in God I will find hope, a future, and a true joy while stranded in this world that is NOT MY HOME. .  

​So Jeff.
. No more barking.


Picture
May each of us find our hope (rescue) in the loving Heavenly Father who sent his son Jesus as our savior, and his Holy Spirit as our comfort.

​note: God is still our rescuer even when we bark.

Now if Cooper would only understand that about me. 

​Jeff (Rescue Dawg) Larson

0 Comments

6/4/2022

1 Comment

The day I became a .. WOMAN

 
I am reposting this old blog ironically in what our country now calls PRIDE MONTH where all things LGBTQ are celebrated by our society gone AMUCK! This being said, this blog is a standalone comment of silliness on a moment in time in my life not so long ago.

No, there has never been any gender dysphoria in my life which is all the rage now. I believe you are either man or woman which is defined by the sex you are born to, and that is that. This blog will not challenge this biblical truth. PERIOD.
Picture

But let me take you back to a time in my life not so long ago when I worked from home while my wife rushed off to work everyday to her job as a school teacher. For me there was no punching a clock or fighting rush hour traffic only a time of prolonged coffee drinking and the weighty decision of when/or if I got dressed for the day. 

​Pajama Day was a regular celebration in my at home work place environment.



Picture
I remember back during this time on a typical morning the alarm goes off. My wife Mary hops out of bed ready to begin another day of molding young minds (or are some kids just moldy minds?). Anyways, though I work from home I pop out of bed too so to spend time with Mary and maybe make myself useful. So I shuffle downstairs, start the coffee, let the dogs outside to do their 'bizness' then back in they come to be fed

My wife soon after joins me downstairs to drink coffee, eat some toast, and exchange a little small talk about the upcoming day while the fog lifts from our sleepy brains. After a few minutes my wife starts back upstairs to finish getting ready but on her way up asks with a smile.. “Honey would you fix me a lunch?”


Fortunately for her, I have grown fond of her over many years and so I am glad to make myself useful. So off to the kitchen I go where I make a turkey sandwich on whole wheat bread, lettuce, tomato, with mayo just like Mary likes. I also pack a small bag of chips and a couple cookies because she is sweet.

Just a few minutes later Mary rushes back downstairs grabs her keys, lunch (made with love) and gives me a quick kiss as she heads out the door.. This is when I say to her in a very 'needy' tone.. 

“Call me later..  I miss you when I don’t hear from you. ”


<insert dramatic pause here>

“Call me later..  I miss you when I don’t hear from you.”  What kind of REAL man says this? I can still see those words hanging in the air ( like a cartoon bubble) when it hits me..  

I HAVE JUST BECOME A WOMAN!! 

This was concerning.. I mean.. I do not suffer from the above mentioned gender dysphoria, I do not watch Ellen, Oprah, Dr. Phil, or follow the Kardashians or Bruce/Kaitlyn 'gender-bender 'Jenner.  This "Call me later, I miss you when I don’t hear from you.” moment in time I found a bit .. CREEPY.  
​
Picture
The good news is my wife and I are true partners, and while I share this story with a smirk our roles as husband & wife, and father & mother are not blurred.  Ephesians 5:21-33 is our happy goal for a happy marriage.

I pray you all have a very blessed day as I must leave you now to clip coupons, and then do my nails. well.. there I go again!! 

Jeff (male gender intact) Larson

1 Comment

6/2/2022

0 Comments

NeverNever-HardlyEver Land

 
Picture
Never Never Hardly Everland (NNHELand) is a magical land where WE are all ok, and THEY are not.  

In NNHELand we live by our  three core Statements of denial.
  1. At least I never ... (insert bad behavior here)
  2. I am not as bad as... (so-and-so)
  3. I’m sorry BUT...  (insert here rationale making your apology in reality unapologetic)

In NNHELand we can even reference our Bibles for a feel better about myself fix.


Picture

​For example.. 
- Well at least I never tried to 'give away' my wife like Abraham.
- Well at least I never was 'saved by a prostitute'.
- At least I get along with my neighbors better than Samson did.
- Well, I know I married better than Ahab..  and married less than Solomon. 

​

Picture
More 'I aint so bad after all' pick me ups can be found by attending church by rubbing elbows with real life folk. The saints and the 'aints' who again are.. ' obviously not as good as you'.  
- I never have drooled into a dish at a church potluck. (I have seen this happen)
- I know the difference between figurative and literal unlike some.  
- I do NOT think out loud..  most of the time

​We all know Neverland is fictional and there is no Peter Pan, Tinker Bell, or Captain Hook, but also it is better to realize NNHELand is a land of make believe as in reality we are all sinners saved by Grace.  


Picture
Truth be told the stories of flawed men and women of the Bible, in history, and today used by God who served God despite circumstances, limitations, and/or failings is inspirational. 
​
Abraham the Liar - Becomes The father of a Nation
Moses the Murderer - Delivered Israel from Slavery
David the Shepherd Boy - Defeats the Giant, and becomes King
Noah the Boat Builder - saved mankind from the great flood
Peter and his sinking Faith - Was the Rock Jesus built his church 
Paul the persecutor of the Church - Becomes the first great missionary of that same church.

No need to hide out in NNHELand as we are all sinners but.. saved by God's Grace.  Instead be faithful in the big and little ways in your life so God can bless and use you in ways that are beyond your dreams... unless you believe you are blessed to build an ark.. that one has already been done.

Blessings

Jeff (Never Never Hardly Ever Sleeping in Church) Larson

0 Comments

5/31/2022

4 Comments

but.. I don't wanna go to church

 
Picture
Before I get to today's message I would like to share the following COVID-19 Anthem performed by the John Lennon Worship Band back in the days of all things Pandemic. This was before churches reopened across Minnesota at glacial speeds. Back in the day of closures when I was ready to attend almost any church just short of those that handle.. SNAKES.

IMAGINE there's no COVID ..
it's easy if you try..

No SOCIAL DISTANCE controls us..
No FAUCI sayin' "yer gonna die!"
IMAGINE all the people ATTENDING CHURCH today..
You may say that I'm a dreamer, 
but I'm not the only one

I hope some day you'll join us
when STREAMING CHURCH is done 
     - John Lennon Worship Band



Picture

But that was so 2020.. now churches were open again.  Fundamentalists, Progressives, Catholics, Lutherans, the rest of them Pentecostal folk including a few Name it Claim it Prosperity Gospel venues all doin' their Sunday 'thang'. 

As the drinking phrase goes.. What's your poison?  Ok,  poison is not a good analogy while those 'snake handlers' are still out there, but the point is now we can go ANYWHERE that fits your denominational bent. 


So onward and  forward we go where your stereo-typical guy (not me) does not want  to go to church. 
His attitude and thoughts are captured below..
​

Picture

- the 'some guy' Sunday morning monologue

I could tell this was going to be a very bad day to go to church.  Just getting out of bed was tough enough.. and the Sunday paper was calling my name…. “psst fella, over here… read me!”  And my smartphone loaded lock stock and barrel with Social Media apps stream (YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, TickTok, Instagram, etc) and all call to me with Sunday morning memes and silly cat pictures.


Picture
AND.. The glorious morning coffee is brewing, and it calls to me too.. “hey guy, slow down.. it’s Sunday.” So, I listened to the voices.. I grabbed the paper, my smartphone, a BIG cup of coffee.. and I am ready for ..no-action.

Now I am a good Christian man and I realize it is Sunday, BUT sometimes as the leader of our family it is important to declare a family day!.. meaning.. we stay home from church so we can spend quality time together bonding. 

Ok, ok.. 'family day' is actually code for I WANT TO STAY HOME AND NOT SHOWER UNTIL NOON… 
drink a pot of coffee, and read the Sunday funnies, the sports section, and watch funny cat videos on my phone.



Picture

​Well I may be the head of the house, BUT my wife wants no part of 'family day'. She wants to leave the comfort of our home and sing with the blessed saints at our church. 

Sing?  I don’t like to sing, and I know the people I go to church with, and while they are nice.. SAINTS they AINT.


 So off we go to church leaving my Sunday morning paper and my coffee at home. “goodbye paper! Goodbye coffee!”…


Picture
Next, off we go down that familiar road to that familiar church to see familiar church folk with the backseat of our family car loaded with our darlin’ children who set the mood by bickering and fighting the whole blessed drive to church… I am now SOOO in the mood to worship.  NOT!  as I lament a ‘family day’ lost.

WELCOME BRUTHA'
​We arrive 
at the blessed house of God and are immediately greeted by overzealous handshakers welcoming me like they thought I wanted to be there... instead of drinking coffee with by BFF (the Sunday Paper).

Picture
In the Fellowship Center they have coffee.. but it is not STARBUCKS, or Folgers, or even SANKA! I like my coffee strong and black (like a middle linebacker), but my church serves it in the traditional big ALUMINUM DRUM that has been used but not cleaned since the Eisenhower Administration. 

This is not real coffee.. it is CHURCH COFFEE, but I down a couple cups of this caffeine fix to stay awake during the upcoming service, but this comes with some .. 
bladder side effects.

Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
After the formalities of church coffee and donut holes we move to church sanctuary.  We have no theater seating at our church but instead use traditional wooden (with no pads) church pews where I sit and pray for a sliver free service. The sanctuary is not really so crowded, but I am a big guy, and the ambiance falls short in comfort to sitting in MY living room drinking MY coffee, and reading MY Sunday paper.. in MY PJs!! without the risk of slivers…   

​BUT I DIGRESS… again!



Picture

Our Worship Leader  is a bit over the top, and his Las Vegas flair certainly is noticeable during his rendition of ‘The King is Coming’.. This only serves to bring the ‘worship wonders’ out of the wood work. 

I don’t sing so ‘goodr’, and my sense of rhythm is that of a badger with back spasms. 
IT’S NOT PRETTY… But no worry.. we have all the 'charismaniacs' to make up for me… performing for style points again.

​We have 
Bullwinkle, the  six-shooter, a lady who appears to have WINGS, and then I have to get the seat behind this guy with the plumbers backside with hands raised high. It is like the 'Worship Circus' has come to town.

Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture

​Even when the people are not hootin’ and hollerin’ they are peculiar.. AND past Sunday mornings have not been free of controversy.  

Before the 'The Covid' 
there was the Great 
Head-Lice Epidemic of 1994. 

The  
Cal Ripken of ushers who should have just taken a sick day instead of infecting and grossing out the parishioners one communion Sunday in 1998.   AND .. with regards to our church being full of grace.. well NOT to the repeat offenders.

NEXT..The offering/guilt plate is passed which I with a smirk I say.. ”
no thanks, I am trying to cut back on giving.” 


Picture

PREACH IT BRUTHA'

After the above tithes & offerings are collected Pastor 'whatz his name' saunters up to the pulpit… armed only with one lapel microphone and 
the word of God.

Pastor words and mannerisms are direct, and passionate, but with his zipper accidentally was left wide OPEN that less than holy smirk returns to my face and I PRAY “Dear God please keep me from giggling!” Nothing sounds sillier than a big man giggling at church!


The service ends
without incident, and I return home to my 'family day' lost. The magic is gone, and I have missed almost half of the Sunday Afternoon game of the week. ARGH!

I do hope and pray there are jewels in my crown someday in Heaven because on this day.. I WAS AT CHURCH worshiping with the saints (lol) when I wanting to be home worshiping God in my own way with my new 
VR Church Gaming System.

- THE END of the 'some guy' Sunday morning monologue

Now, I must say again. I am not that guy. 

Truth be told, I look forward to Church most every week. It is the gathering of Christ's followers to first and foremost worship Him... and this fellowship of flawed folk is the REAL Church intentionally loving God, each other, and others as ourselves.

May God bless and encourage each of you today even if some weeks you resemble the above mentioned 'anonymous guy'.

Jeff (donning another Pajama Day look) Larson

4 Comments
Previous

    Author

    The mutterings on life and faith by cartoonist Jeff Larson

    Archives

    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014

    Categories

    All
    4th Of July
    Abraham
    Addiction
    Alcohol
    Angels
    Anger
    Animals
    Anniversary
    Anxiety
    Apostle Paul
    Armor Of God
    Assurance
    Attitude
    Awkward
    Baby
    Bible
    Bible Reading
    Big Bang
    Birth
    Blessings
    Boredom
    Cell Phones
    Christians
    Christmas
    Church
    Coffee
    Cold
    Computers
    Creation
    Creed
    Darkness
    Dating
    Death
    Despair
    Devil
    Diet
    Dogs
    Donkey
    Drinking
    Driving
    Easter
    Education
    Ego
    Elections
    Entertainment
    Eternity
    Evil
    Evolution
    Excuses
    Faith
    Faithful
    Family
    Fathers
    Fear
    Fight
    Fishing
    Follow
    Food And Coffee
    Free Will
    Friends
    Full Armor Of God
    Gender
    Genesis
    Gifts
    God
    God's Love
    God's Word
    Good Friday
    Gospel
    Grace And Forgiveness
    Happiness
    Health
    Heaven
    Heaven And Hell
    Heritage
    Holidays
    Holiness
    Holy Spirit
    Holy Week
    Honesty
    Hope
    Humlity
    Hunting
    Insurance
    Intolerance
    Jesus
    Jesus Loves Me
    Joy
    Judas
    Judgement
    Justice
    Kindness
    Life
    Light
    Love
    Loving God
    Marriage
    Meditation
    Microagression
    Miracles
    Misc
    Missions
    Moderation
    Money
    Mother
    Music
    New-year
    Noah
    Obedience
    Obedient
    Old Testament
    Opinions
    Other
    Pain
    Palm Sunday
    Patriotism
    Peace
    Pets
    Politics
    Poor
    Pouting
    Power
    Prayer
    Preachers
    Pregnancy
    Presents
    Prodigal
    Profanity
    Psalms
    Purpose
    Pursuit Of God
    Quiet
    Redeemed
    Redneck
    Repentance
    Rescue
    Resolutions
    Respect
    Ressurection
    Resurrection
    Revival
    Rich
    Right And Wrong
    Running
    Rush Hour
    Safety
    Salvation
    School
    Science
    Seat Belts
    Secular
    Seeking God
    Selfish
    Senior Citizens
    Serving
    Serving God
    Sin
    Small Town
    Society
    Spirit Of God
    Sports
    Suffering
    Tax Day
    Technology
    Temple
    Thanksgiving
    Tradition
    Trust
    Trusting God
    Truth
    TV
    Video Games
    Voting
    Walk The Talk
    Wealth
    Weary
    Weather
    Winter
    Witness
    Women
    Work
    Worry
    Worship
    Worship God
    Wrong

    RSS Feed

Back Pew - Draw Close to God
116 pages of cartoons of 'Clean Humor & God's Truth'

CRITICS ARE SAYING..
  • The Back Pew (vol 1) offers spiritual insights rarely found in 'most' coloring books.
  • On a good day The Back Pew is.. Gary Larson's The Farside goes to church!
  • On a bad day The Back Pew (vol 1) is still useful under the leg of an uneven coffee table.
Laughter is just a CLICK away
-click- HAHAHAHA! 

$9.99
christian cartoons, the back pew
PERMISSIONS
COMMENTS
DONATE
©2019 Jeff Larson - All Rights Reserved