Cartoonist/Illustrator - Jeff Larson
Minnesota
 Most every year around this time I like to share the story of the birth of our firstborn. The birth of each of our children has its own special story, but my son Curtis just had a birthday on February 13th so it is his turn to be remembered in this birth blog. Thirty-eight years ago my wife and I were anxious parents-2-be expecting our first. We had already made a few typical false alarm trips to the hospital (aka Braxton Hicks practice contractions), but on February 13th, 1986 it was the real deal and life would NEVER be the same.  READY SET GO... At 12:30 a.m. on February 13th, 1986 my wife and I had just headed off to bed for a long winter’s nap. At about midnight I arrived home from working the evening shift at my job and was off to bed with my fully 9 months pregnant wife Mary. Before I could even fade into sleep Mary exclaims “My water broke, or I just peed the bed.” So off to the races we headed for the birth of our child #1. BUT FIRST... We had to stop for gas as I had not planned on this midnight run to the hospital all while Mary’s contractions were kicking into gear. NOTE TO SELF: Keep the gas tank full when babies are near the due date. So we arrive at the hospital ( I ran a few red lights just for added high drama) and the nurses get us settled into our room and notify our doctor. Mary is then hooked up to all sorts of monitors including this cool baby monitor that measures the strength of her contractions. COOL.. something for me to watch over the next hours. OVER THE NEXT HOURS... The contractions come and go.. the doctor visits and early on can give Mary the drugs of choice to calm the pains. I remember after several of the contractions where Mary seemed to be hurting especially bad I said to her... “That one was not really that bad it was only a 4 on the monitor.” Shortly later I found out the monitor strap had come loose and was not measuring accurately. NOTE TO SELF: Do not think 'out loud'. BIRTH CLASS IN ACTION: Mary and I had attended the birthing classes, so I knew to hold her hand and to coach her breathing. The problem was Mary preferred to hold the nurse's hands because they were cooler to the touch, and at one point during my breathing she said... “Quit breathing in my face.” NOTE TO SELF: Quit breathing?? MORE DRUGS .. PLEASE: So the hours move along and it is early morning around 4:30 when Mary pleads with her doctor for more drugs.. but the doc says nope.. too late.. no more drugs for you. At least I was smart enough at this point to not repeat the doctor’s words. I just sat quietly supportive. NOTE TO SELF: Plead Mary’s case for drugs as a sign of being supportive, and ask for some for me as my back is killing me.  THINGS ARE GETTING INTENSE: Around 8 a.m. the pains are strong, but the process seems to have stalled a bit. So while Mary is in her ‘painful’ holding pattern, the morning breakfast cart rolls around. They peek in and ask sheepishly... “Breakfast anyone?” There is a momentary silence.. then I finally say... “Yes, I think I could eat something.” NOTE TO SELF: Next time shout, can’t you see my wife is in labor, and then meet the cart in the hallway for a secret snack under the guise of chewing them out. So the process continues as I eat breakfast and between bites of food call to my wife with my mouth full.. “push”.. and “remember your breathing.”  FOR UNTO US, A CHILD IS BORN: Finally around 10:00 a.m. a child is born and they shall call his name .. Curtis Walter Larson.
He is healthy, a bit cone-headed but a keeper. After the usual initial checks and I get to cut the cord from 'mothership' Mary we head back to our private room where the three of us mom, dad, and new baby Curt.. all lying in the same bed. And around 12:30 early that afternoon, baby Curt is asleep, I am asleep (and snoring) while Mary lies wide awake with the adrenaline rush of her life. NOTE TO SELF: I don't know what Mary thinks BUT.. this giving birth thingy is exhausting! So there you have it, BIRTH FROM ONE MAN’S PERSPECTIVE. Now 37 years later we have a son Curtis Walter Larson who has given us both our share of joy and exasperation. NOTE TO SELF: God is good, Mary is wonderful, and Curtis is a son to be proud of. Jeff  32 years!? It seems like almost yesterday. A whole lotta life can be lived in these past 32 years. 32 years is a ride filled with precious moments and a few potholes. This describes my last 32 years, and I would never trade them. It was just over 32 years ago my lovely daughter Erin entered planet Earth via spaceship mom. Ok, bad analogy.. my wife Mary was pregnant but not as big as a spaceship. BUT I DIGRESS.. after a high-risk pregnancy including 5 1/2 months on bed rest Erin entered this world in a rush about 10 weeks early and weighed in at a lean mean 3 lbs. 13 oz. As you can imagine Mary being on bed rest for 5 1/2 months, with 2 preschoolers running around the house while I was working full-time was stressful and exhausting. But we were so blessed with a good family, a church, and friends that were truly PRICELESS in getting us to the finish line. D-DAY ( or B-DAY) February 5, 1991: So just after just getting home around 9pm from the hospital visiting Mary with our two boys, I put the boys to bed, and the phone rang. It is the hospital informing me I better get back right away if I want to see the birth of my daughter. I did, so I did. So I get the boys up, rush them over to Mary’s sister’s house (she lived 2 blocks from the hospital), and arrive in time to be with my wife. Since Mary’s due date is not for another 10 weeks the doctor expounds great words of wisdom for the day... “Don’t push too hard or you might shoot your baby across the room.” Ya gotta like a doctor with a sense of humor.  So unto us an 'Erin' is born, around 11:30 pm with no complications except that she is only 3 lbs 13 oz. After an initial exam, she is given her first ambulance ride to the Children’s Hospital NICU in St Paul where they specialize in care of preme-babies. WHEW! Glad they did, cuz I did not. After a short time, at a Children's Hospital Erin came home to be with her brothers, and our family never looked back. We have so many memories of Erin as a little girl, then off to school, and even those dreaded teen years.. that makes us both smile and cringe. No manual prepared this dad for teenage girls... THEY SCARE ME! Now fast forward 32 YEARS from 1991 and our little girl is is a wonderful mom for her soon to be 2 year old son Ira Tyron McDonough. Grandma Mary and I now enjoy our many visits as they only live a few miles away. So those are my 32 years, these are Erin's 32 years and we both are ready for the next 32 (yikes that would make me 97) filled with more precious memories and the accompanied potholes that are all so priceless and a gift from God. Thank you, Jesus. Thank you, Jesus. Jeff (proud daddy and granddaddy) Larson 12/17/2022 The Northwoods Christmas AngelI try and share this important story every Christmas season  aka The Northwoods Good Samaritan of 2001. This is a story near and dear to my heart that I like to share most every December. THIS WAS NOW 21 YEARS AGO! Back in the December of 2001 on the roads of ice and snow near Hayward Wisconsin a young mom with her preschool children loaded in the family car was heading home to the nearby town of Drummond when along the road she spots an older man with the hood up on his car. This was a typical bitter cold December day, but though she has her young children with her she is impressed to stop and see if she can help. As she pulls over the old man approaches her car. She cautiously locks her doors and rolls down her window slightly to ask if she can help. The old man does not speak, tries to open the door, then reaches inside his coat.. making her all the more uneasy. The old man pulls out a small keyboard from his jacket and plays a pre-typed short message explaining he has ALS (Lou Gehrig’s Disease) so he can not speak. He then types needs a ride into town. The young woman opens her car to the old man she does not know and drives him home. This old man was my father Walter Larson, and the young woman was Jen Herricks, and Jen was the Good Samaritan of Northern Wisconsin 2001. I wonder how many cars drove by before Jen stopped to help. How many macho Northwoods guys in their 4x4 trucks drove by too busy to help an old man stranded on a bitterly cold winter day? Maybe none, but maybe too many. But no matter, my dad was cared for by someone with a family car and a kind heart.  Jen later explained to my mom that she thought my dad was an angel. There are a few explanations for this observation but no one before this had described my dad as an angel. A good guy for sure, but an angel? .. hmmm. Not so much. Maybe an angel was standing alongside my dad that cold December day or the peace dad demonstrated just months before passing on to Heaven. Either way today was certainly a divine appointment with an angel named Jen. I love the gospel passage Mt 25:35-40ish “You fed me when I was hungry, you clothed me when I was naked.” Well if the gospels were written today they would also say “you gave me a ride when I was an old man when my car broke down on a winter road in Wisconsin. For when you do these things for the least of my people, you do it for me.” So Jen gives my dad a ride home. He offers her money, she refuses, and they go their separate ways. NICE STORY, BUT IT IS NOT OVER!. A few weeks later my folks receive a Christmas card from Jen wishing and praying the best for them. This was a nice touch too, but... THE STORY IS NOT OVER! My dad passed away from his battle with ALS just a couple short months after their December encounter. The funeral was a celebration of the good man my dad was, and his reward in Heaven. 'Irony' or providence has it Jen and her family began attending my mom & dad's church in Cable Wisconsin still not realizing the connection. After a short period, it became clear to Jen that my mom attends this same church.. and so Jen contacts my mom. This began a friendship that continued until my mom passed away in December 2016.. 15 YEARS later. This friendship continued after Jen's family moved 70 miles away, and my mom later moved 150 miles to the Twin Cities. I mean, c'mon this took this good Samaritan thing too far... they must have actually become close friends. Correction they were the best of friends. When Jen came to visit my mom it is with hugs and kisses that are reserved normally for family. Her kids called her Grandma Nell, and many of the trips included sleepovers in my mom's little apartment This friendship God has provided Jen those 15 years with my mom as a ‘seasoned’ Christian woman to talk and confide in. My mom as I mentioned passed away in December 2016, but you can not take away the blessing of that God-orchestrated ride 15 years earlier for my dad, or the wonderful friendship over the next 15 for my mom and for Jen. God is good even through tough times.  BUT IT IS NOT OVER!. Jen and her husband Todd now serve the Lord in Uganda working with a ministry called 'Woven2gether' serving expecting mothers valuing the born and unborn, and becoming strong families while sharing the Gospel. Thank you, Jen & Todd. May God bless and use you both in ways that are beyond your dreams. So as Christmas approaches, please take time to slow down and notice the angel appointments in your life. Blessings Jeff  one last BUT IT'S NOT OVER... This December, Jen & Todd adopted Caleb Kica HERRICKS! It’s officIal!
We want to thank everyone who supported our journey and have loved Caleb both near and far. God says prefect religion is this that we care for (bring into our home) the widows and orphans. We are so blessed to call Caleb our son officially. God has moved mountains along the way to bring him to us permanently. We are so blessed that he chose us to be his parents. Thank you to those of you who prayed with us and guided us and took the time to talk with us and encourage us in the process. Your heart and stories completely impacted ours. We are grateful for this part to be accomplished. We now have to work towards his medical visa to address his diagnosis of craniosynotosis. God will make a way. Caleb Kica we love you. We declare over you that you will love God all the days of your life. That you will serve Him And glorify Him throughout your days. You will love God even if no one else does. You will not stop seeking the kingdom of God until you get your full inheritance of what God has promised you. In Jesus name. As Caleb says best, Amen! - Jen and I am sure as I end this blog.. THIS STORY IS NOT OVER  Like an ugly ornament that I cannot bear to throw away so is my retelling of a Christmas Concert from a few years back. (It's kind of like the year 2020, UGLY but never forgotten) In December of 2007 my wife and I went on a Christmas date to get the season started off right, but it did not end up like anything 'dreamed of' by Bing Crosby singing White Christmas. We started the evening off with a nice dinner at a local steak house in front of a roaring (gas/fake) fireplace as the weather outside was as the Christmas classic described accurately as frightful. More specifically it was very COLD. After dinner, we were off to downtown Minneapolis to the Pantages Theatre to listen to an A Cappella group called the Blenders for their Christmas concert. note: I am not an A Capella kinda guy normally, but I got the tickets for free from my cousin.. and I AM a free tickets kinda guy so I thought I would go where the cool kids go... or something like that.  Gentlemen.. start your engines! As we approach downtown we soon learn parking on a Friday night during the holiday season would not be a picnic. There was a Christmas parade in progress near the theater so we began driving in a slow-moving car conga line consisting of a series of one-way right-hand turns for about 30 minutes resulting in us parking about 5 city blocks from the theater. Like a slower colder version of NASCAR without a winner. Once parked we began our Frozen Mecca to the Pantages Theater where the air temp was about 2 below zero and the wind chill 14 below. It was Minnesota Fresh! Oh by the way we were walking into this wind, not with it. To complicate things for poor little old me I was not wearing a hat, and my coat was not a great coat for MinneFROZEta.  Along our walk, we passed by several downtown establishments. One was a gay bar and then we passed a club advertising topless girls, with the words.. hot, hot, hot over the topless ad. Now, this is where I was tempted.. not to see topless girls.. but I asked my wife since they were hot maybe we could go in for a moment and warm ourselves with their heat. Ok, honestly there was no temptation here for me, just an excuse for me to share another bad pun with my wife so she could roll her now frozen eyes at me. Pantages at last! We finally arrive about 15 minutes before the concert began. Shivering and frozen we bought a $3 cup of coffee from the cash bar in the lobby which my wife and I took turns holding it to keep warm. When another couple entered the theater and sat next to us visibly cold too, I offered to let them hold my coffee for $1 apiece. They both laughed, but I did not see what was so funny.  It's SHOWTIME. So inside we go and the concert begins. The Blenders are very good but for me, one evening with an A Cappella group will be enough... for my lifetime. The Blenders are 4 guys I would guess their mid to late 30s in suits with choreographed movements like four Caucasian Temptations crooning Christmas songs minus Jesus. To add to the atmosphere there was a group of well-dressed professionals filling a large block of seats just in front of us. I am guessing they were part of a company holiday party dressed up in suits and dresses. They were kind of loud 'notice me types', which is .. not my type. Then during intermission, they all stood in front of my wife making FULL use of the cash bar in the lobby and there was also one young good looking guy passing a flask with something that I am pretty sure was stronger than 7-Up. After two hours of listening to an A Capella Christmas, we retraced our frozen steps to our car and then headed back to our warm home free of anyone in my living room passing a flask and standing in front of my TV. So to sum it all up. We had dinner in front of a fake fire, participated in downtown traffic jams, crowded parking ramps, snow, and ice, and passed by topless & gay bars, all to sit behind loud-drinking young professionals while being entertained by ... Minnesota Night and the Pips?  The next night... was a more low-key Larson type of Christmas which we spent with our son Nate and his then-girlfriend Kendra, and our daughter Erin. We listened to Christmas music, made gingerbread cookies, and played the protestant approved card game. Rook. It was a great evening which included a mini-fight with flour while making cookies.
And... for anyone by chance from that corporate America party who 'LOUDLY' sat in front of me at the Pantages Theater in 2007 I am sorry you missed out on my great Saturday night making cookies with my family. Then again the risk of flour fingerprints on your $500 suits, and the probability of gingerbread crumbs falling into the cleavage (front or back) of your black backless & low-cut dresses without a flask in sight would not be what all would call fun. Merry Christmas Blessings. May your family times be warm and... A Capella free! Jeff 2/13/2022 BIRTH.. one man's perspective Most every year around this time I like to share the story of the birth of our first born. The birth of each of our children have their own special story, but my son Curtis just had a birthday on February 13th so it is his turn to be remembered in this birth blog. Thirty six years ago my wife and I were anxious parents-2-be expecting our first. We had already made a few typical false alarm trips to the hospital (aka Braxton Hicks practice contractions), but on February 13th, 1986.. it was the real deal and life would NEVER be the same.  READY SET GO.. At 12:30 a.m. on February 13th 1986 my wife and I had just headed off to bed for a long winter’s nap. About midnight I arrived home from working the evening shift at my job and was off to bed with my fully 9 months pregnant wife Mary. Before I could even fade into sleep Mary exclaims “My water broke, or I just peed the bed.” So off to the races we headed for the birth of our child #1. BUT FIRST.. We had to stop was for gas as I had not planned on this midnight run to the hospital all while Mary’s contractions were kicking in to gear. NOTE TO SELF: Keep gas tank full when babies are near due date. So we arrive at the hospital ( I ran a few red lights just for added high drama) and the nurses get us settled into our room and notify our doctor. Mary is then hooked up all sorts of monitors including this cool baby monitor that measures the strength of her contractions. COOL.. something for me to watch over the next hours as it is 1986 living in a land before smartphones. OVER THE NEXT HOURS.. The contractions come and go.. the doctor visits and early on is able to give Mary the drugs of choice to calm the pains. I remember after several of the contractions where Mary seemed to be hurting especially bad I said to her.. “That one was not really that bad it was only a 4 on the monitor.” Shortly later I found out the monitor strap had come loose and was not measuring accurately. NOTE TO SELF: Do not think 'out-loud'. OUR BIRTHING CLASS IN ACTION: Mary and I attended birthing classes, so I knew to hold her hand and to coach her breathing. Problem was Mary preferred to hold the nurses hands because they were cooler to the touch, and at one point during my breathing she said.. “Quit breathing in my face!” NOTE TO SELF: Quit breathing??  THING ARE GETTING INTENSE: Around 8 a.m. the pains are strong, but the process seems to have stalled a bit. So while Mary is in her ‘painful’ holding pattern, the morning breakfast cart rolls around at 7:00 a.m.. They peek in and ask sheepishly.. “Breakfast anyone?” There is a momentary silence.. then I finally say.. “Yes, I think I could eat something.” NOTE TO SELF: Next time shout, "Can’t you see my wife is in labor?!" and then meet cart in hallway for a secret snack under the guise of chewing them out. So the birthing process progresses as I eat breakfast and between bites of eggs and sausage I call to my lovely wife words of encouragement with my mouth full.. “push”.. and “remember your breathing.”  FOR UNTO US A CHILD IS BORN: Finally around 10:00 a.m. a child is born and they shall call his name .. Curtis Walter Larson. He is healthy, a bit cone headed but a keeper. After the usual initial checks and I get to cut the cord from 'Mothership Mary' we head back to our private room where the three of us mom, dad, and new baby Curt.. all lying in the same bed. And around 12:30 early that afternoon, baby Curt is asleep, I am asleep (and snoring) while Mary lies wide awake with the adrenaline rush of her life. NOTE TO SELF: I don't know what Mary thinks BUT.. this giving birth thingy is exhausting! So there you have it, BIRTH FROM ONE MAN’S PERSPECTIVE. Now 36 years later we have a son Curtis Walter Larson who is all grown up, married and with 2 kids of his own. "It is.. as the 'prophet Mufasa' was known to say.. "the circle of life."
NOTE TO SELF: God is good, Mary is wonderful, and Curtis is a son we are very proud of. Jeff (birthing expert) Larson 12/21/2021 It's MY Wonderful Life It's a Wonderful Life is the Christmas movie classic starring Jimmy Stewart and Donna Reed where an angel apprentice named Clarence is sent from Heaven to help a desperately frustrated businessman George Bailey by showing him what life would have been like if he had never existed. George in a moment of losing hope whispers a prayer .. "If you are out there God, I need your help." At this point apprentice angel 1st class Clarence enters the story, and soon shows George the impact he is unknowingly having on the lives of those around him... culminating in George realizing .. LIFE is WONDERFUL!  Now the year 2020 (the mother of all bad years) rolled into 2021 with it's never ending COVID variants along with our economy 'infected' with record level inflation can leave us all a little stressed, depressed, and feeling a little hopeless too. So here I am Jeffrey ( George Baily ) Larson my body winces in pain from arthritic joints, and a herniated disc or two, along with my case a surgically repaired knee reminding me my physical prime is in my rear view mirror... on the distant horizon. Also I have my moments that I would describe as 'financially challenged' where my dollars and cents don't always add up or make.. sense. Then, I look in the mirror to see an aging face made for radio while my voice made is more suited for blogging, and my gramr & spellin not 'gooderer' than a 4th grader. And.. There are also times I become oversensitive to what others think of me like a teenage girl with a big ol' honking zit on her nose on prom night. LIFE IS HOPELESS! So like George I whisper a prayer.. "If you are out there God, I need your help." Ok, per usual I embellish MUCH to make my smirky points. THIS IS A WONDERFUL (or as the church brethren would call it a BLESSED) LIFE!
 I know each of our lives have blessings and burdens, and my wonderful life list above may not be real to you, but I pray for each of you no matter your circumstance you face that you putting your faith in the creator of the Universe. May God bless each of you this Christmas season with His Spirit to show you A WONDERFUL LIFE full of hope, promise, and His providence. Jeff (Wonderful Life since age 6) Larson 12/4/2021 The Christmas Angel 2001 aka The Northwoods Good Samaritan of 2001. This is a story near and dear to my heart that I like to share most every December. THIS WAS NOW 20 YEARS AGO! Back in the December of 2001 on the roads of ice and snow near Hayward Wisconsin a young mom with her preschool children loaded in the family car was heading home to the nearby town of Drummond when along the road she spots an older man with the hood up on his car. This was a typical bitter cold December day, but though she has her young children with her she is impressed to stop and see if she can help. As she pulls over the old man approaches her car. She cautiously locks her doors and rolls down her window slightly to ask if she can help. The old man does not speak, tries to open the door, then reaches inside his coat.. making her all the more uneasy. The old man pulls out a small keyboard from his jacket and plays a pretyped short message explaining he has ALS (Lou Gehrig’s Disease) so he can not speak. He then types needs a ride into town. The young woman opens her car to the old man she does not know and drives him home. This old man was my father Walter Larson, and the young woman was Jen Herricks, and Jen was the the Good Samaritan of Northern Wisconsin 2001. I wonder how many cars drove by before Jen stopped to help. How many macho northwoods guys in their 4x4 trucks drove by too busy to help an old man stranded on a bitter cold winter day? Maybe none, but maybe too many. But no matter, my dad was cared for by someone with a family car, and a kind heart.  Jen later explained to my mom that she thought my dad was an angel. There are a few explanations for this observation but no one before this had described my dad as an angel. A good guy for sure, but an angel? .. hmmm. No so much. Maybe there was an angel standing alongside my dad that cold December day, or the the peace dad demonstrated just months before passing on to Heaven. Either way today this was certainly a divine appointment with an angel named Jen. I love the gospel passage Mt 25:35-40ish “You fed me when I was hungry, you clothed me when I was naked.” Well if the gospels were written today they would also say “you gave me a ride when I was an old man when my car broke down on a winter road in Wisconsin. For when you do these things for the least of my people, you do it for me.” So Jen gives my dad a ride home. He offers her money, she refuses, and they go their separate ways. NICE STORY, BUT IT IS NOT OVER!. A few weeks later my folks receive a Christmas card from Jen wishing and praying the best for them. This was nice touch too, but... THE STORY IS NOT OVER! My dad passed away from his battle with ALS just a couple short months after their December encounter. The funeral was a celebration of the good man my dad was, and his reward in Heaven. 'Irony' or providence has it Jen and her family began attending my mom & dad's church in Cable Wisconsin still not realizing the connection. After a short period of time it became clear to Jen that my mom attends this same church.. and so Jen contacts my mom. This began a friendship that continued until my mom passed away in December 2016.. 15 YEARS later. This friendship continued after Jen's family moving 70 miles away, and my mom later moved 150 miles to the Twin Cities. I mean, c'mon this took this good Samaritan thing too far.. they must have actually become close friends. Correction they were the best of friends. When Jen came to visit my mom it is with hugs and kisses that are reserved normally for family. Her kids called her Grandma Nell, and many of the trips included sleep overs in my mom's little apartment This friendship God has provided Jen those 15 years my mom as a ‘seasoned’ Christian woman to talk and confide in. My mom as I mentioned passed away in December 2016, but you can not take away the blessing of that God orchestrated ride 15 years earlier for my dad, or the wonderful friendship over the next 15 for my mom and for Jen. God is good even through the tough times.  BUT IT IS NOT OVER!. Jen, her husband Todd now serve the Lord in Uganda working with a ministry called 'Woven2gether' serving expecting mothers valuing the born and unborn, becoming strong families while sharing the Gospel.
Thank you Jen & Todd. May God bless and use you both in ways that are beyond your dreams. So as Christmas approaches, please take time to slow down and notice the angel appointments in your life. Blessings Jeff  I confess I visit the local coffee shops now and then for a Latte, but if my dad were still alive he would NOT approve. First of all, paying $5 for a large latte (steamed milk and espresso) would be simply WRONG WRONG WRONG!! Then to stand in line to order a coffee with a flavor.. is also WRONG. According to my dad, coffee drinker wanna-bes may add sugar to their coffee but true coffee drinkers either drink it black or with the 'approved' dairy companion of the day.. half&half. Also my dad would not purchase something called a scone. If you want something sweet you buy a package of sticky danish pastries from the IGA Grocery with a shelf life of 4 years. AND.. the only coffee drink resembling 'a Mocha' in my parents home was if my dad accidentally poured Folgers coffee into a cup of cocoa. And beyond my dad, Coffee was the true cornerstone beverage for my family and church as I was growing up. My family did not drink alcohol, and so while you might think that makes them teetotaler but in reality they were coffeetotalers. I remember fondly Pastor Wayne Larson (no relation) and his wife Ruth led the our church in Cable Wisconsin for about 7 years, and they had what I would call the ‘gift of coffee’. They would call up my folks and say "Put a pot of coffee on.. cuz we are coming over.” So over my years growing up in rural Wisconsin I learned the significance of coffee for any healthy community. Below is a short list of Coffee Rules for Life.
Now fast forward 35+ years and you don’t have to drink your coffee black or with cream and/or sugar.. you can get you Latte Grande skinny ( half expresso, and half steamed skim milk).. You can order a Turtle Sundae Mocha.. or maybe a White Chocolate Raspberry Cooler.. the possibilities are endless..  BUT ..though I like my Latte I want I believe in the time honored tradition of CHURCH COFFEE. Coffee is never confused with the Holy Sacraments… but I believe church coffee is to be revered and consumed. It should be brewed in a traditional aluminum drum with TLC.. where coffee is symbolic of fellowship though often tastes often like something less. With regards to this traditional aluminum drum brewing 'machine', cleaning this drum is of paramount importance. Coffee drum cleaning like changing the oil in your car is too often neglected resulting in a brew that only the hearty church goer can appreciate/tolerate.. chew.  THEN those times when the coffee has a taste like hot dishwater it may be because when the drum was finally cleaned… THE DISH RAG WAS LEFT IN THE DRUM!!.. Now that I think about it.. let me share my COFFEE CONSPIRACY THEORY. I wonder if coffee was introduced to churches as a way to keep the congregation awake during a dry sermon in a stuffy church. And finally according to Newton's Law .. To every action there is an equal and opposite reaction... and with coffee came the Coffee Conflicted Christian.  There, now try and keep those thoughts out of your mind the next time you pour yourself a cup of hot caffinated fellowship in your church foyer. I will confess many churches today offer good coffee, but if my dad were still here.. he would prefer his cup to come from the traditional aluminum drum. Then again.. he is in Heaven.. and I am sure they do COFFEE RIGHT (Folgers with half & half thank you very much)  Finally.. to round out today’s coffee toonage let me share a coffee paraphrase of Revelation 3:16 where the Lord is speaking about a church being lukewarm. Neither hot or cold.. and how distasteful LUKEWARM COFFEE is. Have a great day.. full of God’s caffeinated blessings. Smile lots.. enjoy life .. and always.. BREW UNTO OTHERS as you would have them BREW UNTO YOU! Hebrews 3:16 Jeff (caffeinated) Larson ps - below are a few moments from the Bible where I believe coffee was in order.
2/13/2021 BIRTH.. One Man's Perspective Most every year around this time I like to share the story of the birth of our first born. The birth of each of our children have their own special story, but my son Curtis just had a birthday on February 13th so it is his turn to be remembered in this birth blog. Thirty five years ago my wife and I were anxious parents-2-be expecting our first. We had already made a few typical false alarm trips to the hospital (aka Braxton Hicks practice contractions), but on February 13th, 1986 it was the real deal and life would NEVER be the same.  READY SET GO.. At 12:30 a.m. on February 13th 1986 my wife and I had just headed off to bed for a long winter’s nap. About midnight I arrived home from working the evening shift at my job and was off to bed with my fully 9 months pregnant wife Mary. Before I could even fade into sleep Mary exclaims “My water broke, or I just peed the bed.” So off to the races we headed for the birth of our child #1. BUT FIRST.. We had to stop was for gas as I had not planned on this midnight run to the hospital all while Mary’s contractions were kicking in to gear. NOTE TO SELF: Keep gas tank full when babies are near due date. So we arrive at the hospital ( I ran a few red lights just for added high drama) and the nurses get us settled into our room and notify our doctor. Mary is then hooked up all sorts of monitors including this cool baby monitors that measures the strength of her contractions. COOL.. something for me to watch over the next hours. OVER THE NEXT HOURS.. The contractions come and go.. the doctor visits and early on is able to give Mary the drugs of choice to calm the pains. I remember after several of the contractions where Mary seemed to be hurting especially bad I said to her.. “That one was not really that bad it was only a 4 on the monitor.” Shortly later I found out the monitor strap had come loose and was not measuring accurately. NOTE TO SELF: Do not think 'out-loud'. BIRTH CLASS IN ACTION: Mary and I had attended the birthing classes, so I knew to hold her hand and to coach her breathing. Problem was Mary preferred to hold the nurses hands because they were cooler to the touch, and at one point during my breathing she said.. “Quit breathing in my face.” NOTE TO SELF: Quit breathing?? MORE DRUGS .. PLEASE: So the hours move along and it is early morning around 4:30 when Mary pleads with her doctor for more drugs.. but the doc says nope.. too late.. no more drugs for you. At least I was smart enough at this point to not repeat the doctor’s words. I just sat quietly supportive. NOTE TO SELF: Plead Mary’s case for drugs as a sign of being supportive, and ask for some for self as my back is killing me.  THING ARE GETTING INTENSE: Around 8 a.m. the pains are strong, but the process seems to have stalled a bit. So while Mary is in her ‘painful’ holding pattern, the morning breakfast cart rolls around. They peek in and ask sheepishly.. “Breakfast anyone?” There is a momentary silence.. then I finally say.. “Yes, I think I could eat something.” NOTE TO SELF: Next time shout, can’t you see my wife is in labor, and then meet cart in hallway for a secret snack under the guise of chewing them out.  So the process continues as I eat breakfast and between bites of food call to my wife with my mouth full.. “push”.. and “remember your breathing.”
FOR UNTO US A CHILD IS BORN: Finally around 10:00 a.m. a child is born and they shall call his name .. Curtis Walter Larson. He is healthy, a bit cone headed but a keeper. After the usual initial checks and I get to cut the cord from 'mothership' Mary we head back to our private room where the three of us mom, dad, and new baby Curt.. all lying in the same bed. And around 12:30 early that afternoon, baby Curt is asleep, I am asleep (and snoring) while Mary lies wide awake with the adrenaline rush of her life. NOTE TO SELF: I don't know what Mary thinks BUT.. this giving birth thingy is exhausting! So there you have it, BIRTH FROM ONE MAN’S PERSPECTIVE. Now 35 years later we have a son Curtis Walter Larson who has given us both our share of joys and exasperation. NOTE TO SELF: God is good, Mary is wonderful, and Curtis is a son to be proud of. Jeff 9/28/2020 Small Towns & Rednecks I grew up in the ‘metropolis’ of Cable Wisconsin with a population of about 280. Highway 63 travels through Cable, and rush hour was from 7:45 am to 7:47 am, and returned from 4:58 pm to 5:02 pm. Traffic jams was only urban legend warning us of the EVIL big city. I now live in Coon Rapids, a suburb of Minneapolis Minnesota. (the big city) and for years have experienced real rush hour traffic. I know first hand about traffic jams, busy streets, road construction, and the skyline of downtown Minneapolis is just a few miles away and is filled with impressive tall buildings. The skyline of downtown Cable is.. trees. This is my skyline of choice. In Cable the night is quiet, the few stores in town close down by early evening, with only maybe an occasional car can be heard in the distance going down highway 63, and the sky is filled with stars. I live in a quiet neighborhood in Coon Rapids, but the busyness of the city is never too far away, and the city lights make the stars in the sky appear dim. I love it here, BUT I do miss my hometown. So the moral of the story.. You can take the BOY out of the small town, but you can't take the small town out of the BOY.  So in honor of small towns .. let me share a tribute to.. Small Towns and Rednecks. Small Towns ..where we might not be like dem city churches with a la-ti-da pipe organ. and GEE-TARS, but we gots us a BANJO! We are God fearin' people who Pray real good, and though we might not dress in any fancy suits we are lookin plenty spiffy in our own way, and have set high standards regarding our men wearing HATS while makin' exceptions in Wisconsin where Women can wear 'hats' like the FELLAS every fall.
But don't you worry yer little ol self none.. our pastor may be preachin from behind a Freight Crate Pulpit, where you hear sermons with practical life object lessons on DUCT TAPE. And.. every service ends we are sent out into 'the woods'? with the Red Neck Great Commission GIT-R-DUN! But like all churches we did have a split a few years back over theology. No it has nuttin to do wit' baptism (once the ice is off the lakes we baptize everything but cats), or raisin yer hands, or speakin in tongues (couple fellers know pig latin). We don't care if U-R-A Calvinist, or even a Viking fan... but we don't handle Snakes.
 So come join the country folk worshiping the same God as the city folk. One body, many parts. One family, many cuzin's. One church.. some from the city and some in the woods.. but the important point to make is - If yer KIN Yer In! Well that is all for today. I am sure my whole website has a small town flavor and not just the toons I listed above. Small Town is a very good thing. Have a great day, blessed by God in great ways.  note: In reality my home church is nothing like the redneck toons above. It definitely has a small town flavor, but it is a great church where the word of God is preached and is the place where I gave my heart to the Lord when I was 6 years old... and so small towns (specifically Cable Wisconsin) will always be special to me. Praise God for small town churches, and for His people. Jeff (country boy at heart) Larson |
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2/17/2023
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