Aflack Apocrypha 2020

It is common knowledge in the church that all those who accept Jesus Christ ​as their savior automatically receive an eternal life insurance (ELI) plan protecting them from Hell Fire .  This ELI plan is a must for all those who value eternity.., I highly recommend it. No monthly premiums to remember, so why not sign up today.

But, besides the ELI policy featured in the Gospels I was concerned regarding the life and health insurance needs for an extremely violent Old Testament. What happens what tragedy strikes?Then after researching Google and after about 7 red bulls at 3 a.m. I uncovered the little known but powerful insurance plan known as the Aflack Apocrypha Comprehensive Insurance Plan (AACI).  AACI covered the following significant Bible moments and more..

• ​Goliath showing concussion symptoms was covered by the 'rock in the head' clause.
• Sisera's splitting headache that Excedrin would not touch covered by the 'tent stake to the noggin' clause. 
• Everyone on that Jericho Wall was built in compliance to OSHA regulations.. so AACI was there for the survivors of this fall. Unfortunately there were no survivors except Rahab.
• Abimelech.. would have benefited with the above 'rock on head' clause. (see Goliath) but the details of the accident were attempted to be covered up.
• Eutychus.. who had a great fall but recovered. But had he died.. AACI would have covered the cost of his funeral.
• Pharaoh .. Did not have insurance to cover even one of the seven plagues, or the tragedy at the crossing of the Red Sea. STBY (stinks to be you) Pharaoh.  

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Other probable insurance claims I noticed were..

• ​The Lost digit(s) clause came in handy for King Adoni-Bezek
• Had Eglon survived he would was a good candidate for back surgery... to have that 'SWORD' removed. Fortunately Ehud had a 'no fault' clause when using his sword in his AACI and so no legal actions were taken against him.
• Insurance when you are seriously, VERY SERIOUSLY sick with worms.  YES, there is a worms clause.
• Coverage for loss of home, family, and health, and your name is Job
• pet insurance​ is offered for damage to property or.. the risk of being their LUNCH.
• and finally accidental drowning during a baptism and fiery furnace clauses are all bundled into AACI.

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​So there you have it.. The Aflack Apocrypha (AACI) .  This was the original 'We know a thing or two cuz we've seen a thing or two' insurance company.

Note: I am pretty sure this illustrated blog/writing/policy outline will NOT become an accepted part of the canon of scripture, but I am ok with that since I confess.. I never googled the Alfack Apocrypha.. I made it up.. (insert shock & awe here). I don't drink red bulls, and I certainly at my age am not up at 3 a.m. unless I have to pee.  TMI TMI

note: If you have great Health, Dental, and Vision insurance now.. GREAT.. but if you don't have the assurance of Heaven in your future (John 3:16).. then you are under-insured.  There is only one way to Heaven (John 14:6). In this case there is no better time than NOW to give your life to God.

May God bless you with health and good insurance on Earth... and the promise of someday Heaven with our Jesus.

Jeff ( Insured by Grace ) Larson

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