ABRAHAM - Road Trip (Genesis 12-19)
The next big event in the book of Genesis after Noah is God's plan to build a nation via senior citizens Abraham & Sarah.
In Genesis 12, Abram enters this Old Testament story. Abram is maybe a spry 85 years young, and his bride Sarai is maybe 70. The Lord tells Abram .. “Road Trip!!... pack up the Winnebago; I have plans for you."
So Abraham loads Canaan into his GPS and says goodbye to 'Sweet Home Haran' with Lynard Skynard playing in the background.
In Genesis 12, Abram enters this Old Testament story. Abram is maybe a spry 85 years young, and his bride Sarai is maybe 70. The Lord tells Abram .. “Road Trip!!... pack up the Winnebago; I have plans for you."
So Abraham loads Canaan into his GPS and says goodbye to 'Sweet Home Haran' with Lynard Skynard playing in the background.
HOME OF THE WHOPPER!
The next thing you know, Abram was in Egypt with his wife Sarai during a famine. While in Egypt, Pharaoh spies Abram's wife Sarai, who rumor has it was a 'fetching' 70-year-old hottie. So Abe tells a little fib that Sarai is his sister as he is afraid they will kill him to take Sarai as their wife. Okay, let's be clear: that is not a little fib; it was a WHOPPER.
Side note 1: My wife would not have been such a good sport if she was in Sarai's situation. Just sayin'
So Pharaoh takes Sarai into his palace and treats Abram well for her sake, and Abram acquires sheep and cattle, male and female donkeys, male and female servants, and camels out of the exchange.
The next thing you know, Abram was in Egypt with his wife Sarai during a famine. While in Egypt, Pharaoh spies Abram's wife Sarai, who rumor has it was a 'fetching' 70-year-old hottie. So Abe tells a little fib that Sarai is his sister as he is afraid they will kill him to take Sarai as their wife. Okay, let's be clear: that is not a little fib; it was a WHOPPER.
Side note 1: My wife would not have been such a good sport if she was in Sarai's situation. Just sayin'
So Pharaoh takes Sarai into his palace and treats Abram well for her sake, and Abram acquires sheep and cattle, male and female donkeys, male and female servants, and camels out of the exchange.
But the Lord inflicted serious diseases on Pharaoh and his household because of Abram’s wife, Sarai. So Pharaoh summoned Abram. “What have you done to me?” “Why didn’t you tell me she was your wife? Why did you say, ‘She is my sister,’ so I took her as my wife? Now then, here is your wife. Take her and go!” Then Pharaoh gave orders about Abram to his men, and they sent him on his way with his wife and everything he had.
Side note 2: After pawning his wife off in Egypt Abraham while known as a great man of faith, would never be called Honest Abe. Honest Abe of course is Abraham Lincoln, our 16th president.
After Egypt, Abe travels to southern Canaan as a very wealthy man with cattle, silver, and gold. But, tension arose between Abram and his nephew Lot because there were simply too many animals for the land to support.
So Abe says to Lot, “Let’s not bicker over land. If you choose the land to the left, I will go to the right, and Lot chooses the land in the direction of Sodom, which could have been named LOT VEGAS!
In chapter 14, there were battles, but I gather that military tactics were a bit primitive. One particular lesson learned is still taught in the Soldier’s Field Manual at WestPoint, stating a soldier should always avoid the shortcut across the TARPITS.
During all this time, the Lord reminds Abraham that he will be blessed, so trying to number his descendants will be like counting the grains of sand on the shore or the stars in the skies. There was, of course, the minor problem that AARP collectors Abram and Sarai had no kids.
In chapter 14, there were battles, but I gather that military tactics were a bit primitive. One particular lesson learned is still taught in the Soldier’s Field Manual at WestPoint, stating a soldier should always avoid the shortcut across the TARPITS.
During all this time, the Lord reminds Abraham that he will be blessed, so trying to number his descendants will be like counting the grains of sand on the shore or the stars in the skies. There was, of course, the minor problem that AARP collectors Abram and Sarai had no kids.
So now the plot thickens as Sarai (the excellent wife) says to Abram, “I have not given you children, so sleep with my slave girl Hagar?” Mic Drop!
I have a couple of Back Pew comments on this part of the story.
I have a couple of Back Pew comments on this part of the story.
- When I think of Hagar, I think of that Viking cartoon character Hagar the Horrible.
- My wife has never offered me a slave girl to sleep with! Of course, if she did, I would say very politely, “Thank you for this most generous offer, BUT (with the vision of Hagar the Horrible in my head) I’m good.”
So Hagar (the slave girl not the Viking) becomes pregnant by Abram, and Sarai lets Abram have it by saying something like, “I told you to sleep with her, but not SLEEP with her!” To which Abram so eloquently, in his defense, says, “Huh? What? But you said!!! I thought I could... WHAT?”
As you can read in chapter 16, this arrangement is nothing you ever see discussed on Focus on the Family, Oprah, or even The Jerry Springer Show. These chapters are NOT in the Bible as an example of how to model the perfect marriage, but to instead show us God is faithful and caring for Abram and Sarai even when they do really dumb things.
Fortunately for Abram, Sarai, Hagar, and the rest of us, our foolish choices are covered by God’s grace and goodness.
As you can read in chapter 16, this arrangement is nothing you ever see discussed on Focus on the Family, Oprah, or even The Jerry Springer Show. These chapters are NOT in the Bible as an example of how to model the perfect marriage, but to instead show us God is faithful and caring for Abram and Sarai even when they do really dumb things.
Fortunately for Abram, Sarai, Hagar, and the rest of us, our foolish choices are covered by God’s grace and goodness.
In chapter 17, God tells Abram to change his name from Abram to Abraham. Q. I wonder if this was so that he could start fresh and people would not know he was the guy who lied that Sarai was his sister and slept with his wife’s slave girl. Sarai also has her name changed to Sarah. Then, near the end of the chapter 99 year old Abraham is circumcised. This profound scripture emphatically reminds me not to complain about my aches and pains as we age. And all men collectively shout AMEN!! And YOWTCH!!
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In chapter 19, Abraham is met by three men and welcomes these visitors into his tent to allow them to rest out of the day's heat. Abraham then tells Sarah to bake some homemade bread while he fires up the grill to cook some burgers and brats for his guests.
After dinner, the visitors informed Abraham that Sarah would have a son one year from now. Sarah was listening at the entrance and LAUGHED to herself since she was so old. The guests heard her laughing and reminded Abraham and Sarah that this was not too difficult for the God who created the world.
After this, the three men left and headed towards Sodom (aka Sin City).
After dinner, the visitors informed Abraham that Sarah would have a son one year from now. Sarah was listening at the entrance and LAUGHED to herself since she was so old. The guests heard her laughing and reminded Abraham and Sarah that this was not too difficult for the God who created the world.
After this, the three men left and headed towards Sodom (aka Sin City).
