VALENTINES DAY.. is that important date (Feb 14th) to REMEMBER the one you love with a card, flowers, candy, and maybe a nice romantic dinner. Or else The Valentines Day Massacre .. may refer to your fate and not just a Mob hit in the 1930s. My Funny Valentine was a romantic tune made famous in 1937 by Frank Sinatra, but here in the Back Pew My Funny Valentine will refer instead to my collection of romantic TOONS where romance, humor, and the potential of the above mentioned massacre are all possible.
Cupid is that winged and under-dressed fella who shoots arrows through the hearts of unsuspecting guys and gals who can't help themselves but fall in love. This was all fine and dandy until in recent years the public school system banned Cupid because.. 1. Dress Code violations 2. Zero Tolerance Weaspons Policy 3. Those little candy hearts are considered a Controlled Substance. It is has been rumored some kids arriving home from school on VDay have experienced a 3 day candy buzz. Only in America can we have Colorado legalize recreational marijuana, but Cupid gets busted for giving away candy hearts. The good news for the rest of us is Cupid and candy hearts in moderation is allowed. Moderation is the key as both too much love and too much candy may not kill you but they certainly will make you sick.
Be my Valentine? Another distinction between Valentines Day in public schools versus outside the 'big house' (school grounds) is how many Valentines do you have? In elementary school kids make valentine boxes, and then exchange cards by dropping cards in each other's boxes. These cards and little candy hearts share sentiments like 'Be Mine', 'Kiss Me', or ,I love you,. That is all fine and dandy with your candy when you are 9 years old, but in this grown up world I will NOT send valentine cards, candy, and flowers to every woman I know at work and/or church. This would be wrong on so many levels.
It would make me kind of a creeper, and
I am pretty certain without asking that my wife Mary would frown on this. I just get this unspoken vibe from Mary that she does not want me telling other woman KISS ME, or BE MINE, or I LOVE YOU, or.. HOT HOT HOT. I should not say this with my lips or with a candy heart, and nary a card. If I did, my wife would make me 50 shades of DEAD!
Don't get me wrong, my wife does not expect (but she would not turn down) a dozen roses, but those rare occasions where I did not come up with a card.. let's just say her countenance darkened. Or to coin another popular Back Pew phrase.. I was skating on thin ice. Whether or not I will be found out on thin ice, and how thin that ice may be.. is all left to the mercy of my lovely bride. So there you have it.. JUST ANOTHER DAY.. <pause> just another day I better not forget along with Christmas, my wife's birthday, Mothers Day etc etc. May God bless you on Valentines Day and the rest of the year with love and happiness with that special someone. Blessings, Jeff