I have just changed jobs AGAIN. After 5 months working a job as a delivery driver of meals to senior citizens and others in financial, physical, and/or other needs I am now riding a bus to downtown Saint Paul, Mn to an office job providing customer service for life insurance policies.
I was not looking for a new job, and was thankful for the opportunity to serve others as hands and feet of Jesus Christ for those in need. As a driver I met many wonderful people, and was touched by the spirit of many of my clients. Other clients were just existing as you could see on their faces the weight of their situation. Poverty, sickness, mental and/or emotional challenges that were heavy loads.
But.. this new opportunity came along where I would return to an comfy office environment with predictable hours working with clients to answer their insurance policy questions.
This new job pays signifcantly more money, and would not require the physical demands on my body, nor the driving 250 miles in a day delivering meals to 50+ clients this winter where weather in Minnesota is unpredictable and the country roads are snow & ice.
I did pray about my decision of course with my wife, and considered the pros and cons, and decided to take this new job supporting life insurance products. I am actually typing this blog while riding the express bus (limited stops) to my employers downtown St Paul office.
So here comes the FEAR. While I am in good health, I am 61, wear bi-focals and hearing aides, and with zero experience with life insurance.
I am in a 6 week training class with mostly millenials to learn a solid understanding of our insurance services, and I AM MORE THAN SLIGHTLY CHALLENGED. I am learning, but I started this class about a week and a half after the rest of my group, but if I was swimming I would be dog paddling my fastest to keep up with a room full of Olympic Swimmers. I think I have swallowed half the pool.
So my doubts kick in.. I second guess myself (for the millionth time), go home regroup, talk with my wife and pray. I am thankful to God for this opportunity, but in my glaringly flawed humanity .. I have doubts. Feelings of being old, and unable to learn.. so go home regroup, talke with my wife and pray, and then pray some more. I pray for an attitude of trust in God, and for an ability to learn, and listen, and an attitude that is positive even when the going is tough.
It is unfortunate at age 61 I am 'occupationally challenged' where over the last few years I have hopped between a number of jobs. Not blaming anyone except myself and/or circumstances, but it still a reality and a regret. I look forward to retiring, but not sure when that will make sense.. but I know at this moment in time I need to work hard, be Christlike in my attitude and efforts.
I don't live my life now while focused on what is in my rear view mirror.
I share all this because I don't think I am alone. Many if not most of us face challenges that we did not sign up for. Our individual situations and/or challenges may be our own doing, or out of our control. It could be a diagnosis that compromises your life. It could be a lost job that was or was not your fault. Maybe problems in your marriage or with your children or grandchildren that break your heart. Maybe the issue is a vice/addiction. So we become afraid.
Through all this I share because I do trust God to be the answer in my life. I believe He is loving, and NOT indifferent to any of our situations.
From Job to the Prodigal Son God was faithful and caring. Look through the Gospels and read Jesus teachings, and look at his examples where He listened, wept, He healed, and He was truthful love, and even on the cross he promised paradise to the theif on the cross next to him.
What a blessing it is to serve our loving God. The creator of the Universe is intimately interested in each us and our fears.
I pray God's blessings and providence for his church today, and for a lost world that needs to know our loving Savior.
Jeff (bus ridin') Larson
Note: One day after writing this blog was a particularly tough day. The fears and doubts were back, but at the end of the day while feeling discouraged I prayed and extremely simple prayer.. HELP ME! The sky did not open up and God's spirit descend on me like a dove, but after a good night's sleep and a weekend ahead of me.. I am ready to go again. God is with me.. and I can do all things (even a new job) through Christ who strengthens me.
The mutterings on life and faith by cartoonist Jeff Larson