Not a Latte, nor a Mocha Grande

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​I confess I visit the local coffee shops now and then for a Latte, but if my dad were still alive he would NOT approve. 

First of all, paying $5 for a large latte (steamed milk and espresso) would be simply WRONG WRONG WRONG!!  Then to stand in line to order a coffee with a flavor.. is also WRONG. 

According to my dad, coffee drinker wanna-bes may add sugar to their coffee but true coffee drinkers either drink it black or with the 'approved' dairy companion of the day.. half&half. 

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Also my dad would not purchase something called a scone.  If you want something sweet you buy a package of sticky danish pastries from the IGA Grocery with a shelf life of 4 years.  AND.. the only coffee drink resembling 'a Mocha' in my parents home was if my dad accidentally poured  Folgers coffee into a cup of cocoa.
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​And beyond my dad, Coffee was the true cornerstone beverage for my family and church as I was growing up. My family did not drink alcohol, and so while you might think that makes them teetotaler but in reality they were coffeetotalers.

I remember fondly Pastor Wayne Larson (no relation) and his wife Ruth led the our church in Cable Wisconsin for about 7 years, and they had what I would call the ‘gift of coffee’.  They would call up my folks and say "Put a pot of coffee on.. cuz we are coming over.”

So over my years growing up in rural Wisconsin I learned the significance of coffee for any healthy community. Below is a short list of Coffee Rules for Life.

1. Coffee is synonymous with Fellowship, 
2. There was never TOO MUCH coffee,
3. Tea is NOT coffee!, and..
4. Coffee is the approved sermon aide in 9 out of 10 churches  in America.

Now fast forward 35+ years and you don’t have to drink your coffee black or with cream and/or sugar.. you can get you Latte Grande skinny ( half expresso, and half steamed skim milk)..  You can order a Turtle Sundae Mocha.. or maybe a White Chocolate Raspberry Cooler.. the possibilities are endless..

​BUT ..though I like my Latte I want I believe in the time honored tradition of CHURCH COFFEE.

Coffee is never confused with the Holy Sacraments… but I believe church coffee is to be revered and consumed. 

​It should be brewed in a traditional aluminum drum with TLC.. where coffee is symbolic of fellowship though often tastes often like something less. ​

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With regards to this traditional aluminum drum brewing 'machine', cleaning this drum is of paramount importance.  Coffee drum cleaning like changing the oil in your car is too often neglected resulting in a brew that only the hearty church goer can appreciate/tolerate.. chew. ​

​THEN those times when the coffee has a taste like hot dishwater it may be because when the drum was finally cleaned… THE DISH RAG WAS LEFT IN THE DRUM!!.. ​

​Now that I think about it.. let me share my COFFEE CONSPIRACY THEORY. I wonder if coffee was introduced to churches as a way to keep the congregation awake during a dry sermon in a stuffy church.

And finally according to Newton's Law .. To every action there is an equal and opposite reaction... and with coffee came the Coffee Conflicted Christian.

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​There, now try and keep those thoughts out of your mind the next time you pour yourself a cup of hot caffinated fellowship in your church foyer.

I will confess many churches today offer good coffee, but if my dad were still here.. he would prefer his cup to come from the traditional aluminum drum. 

Then again.. he is in Heaven.. and I am sure they  do COFFEE RIGHT (Folgers with half & half thank you very much)

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Finally.. to round out today’s coffee toonage let me share a coffee paraphrase of Revelation 3:16 where the Lord is speaking about a church being lukewarm.  Neither hot or cold.. and how distasteful LUKEWARM COFFEE is.

Have a great day.. full of God’s caffeinated blessings.  Smile lots.. enjoy life .. and always..

​BREW UNTO OTHERS as you would have them BREW UNTO YOU! Hebrews 3:16

Jeff (caffeinated) Larson

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ps - below are a few moments from the Bible where I believe coffee was in order.

• I would like 7 Triple Espressos, 2 Lattes, a White Chocolate Mocha, and 2 small de-cafs to go please (12 spies)
• Before we leave, let’s stop over at what’s her name.. for a quick cup of joe. (Rahab)
• Sometimes it took more than a strong cup of coffee to GET UP IN THE MORNING. (Lazarus)
• After a good well prepared meal.. a nice cup of black coffee with a slice of Devils Food Cake  would be lovely.
• Coffee with a snack that is both SWEET & CRUNCHY (John the Baptist)​