As I roller coaster through the amusement park of life past the sideshows of a bearded lady, the two headed cow and the tattooed sword swallowing vicar I realize again.. LIFE IS A RIDE.
My rollercoaster existence leaves me at times exhilarated while other times ready to BARF. These twists and turns in my life do expose my Dr Jeffrey and Mr. Hide (like a less sinister version of Dr Jekyll & Mr Hyde) personality quirks. I am Dr Jeffrey when all is good, but Mr Hide but rises up as my rollercoaster dips and there is a big bend up ahead.
AND yes I did mean to say Mr. Hide (not Hyde).. 'Good grief I am cartoonist not a monster’.
My alter ego Mr. Hide unfortunately appears when my -I'm ok facade- is threatened to be exposed by my collection of insecurities, mistakes and bad choices. Better to hide and live to fight another day.. or something like that.
Mr. Hide wants others to see me as a success. A man with a career, admired, and a man of status, and dashing good looks. Mr. Hide promotes the illusion that he is confident, funny, never depressed, and has never struggled with substance abuse. Oh there are many other things Mr. Hide hides from others, but you get the idea.
Right now as I type I am in one of times I want to hide. An unfair circumstance mixed in with a dash of my special brand of stumbling/bumbling has me unemployed and looking for a hiding place. LOL, I guess sharing it in my blog is not a very good hiding place.
I am hurting, and a little panicked, but have determined none of my circumstance surprised God. I am sure He did not slap his forehead and declare.. "Wow, now that's a new one."
Anyways, I am putting my trust in my God. I could quote a ba-zillion verses about God's love for me, but I will keep it simple and share Psalm 23. A psalm of David.1 The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. 2 He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, 3 he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake. 4 Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. 5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. 6 Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
Then to further my 'Hiding Recovery' I belong to a church whose motto is No Perfect People Allowed'. aahh a church made just for me. :) More specifically my wife and I host a Small Group Fellowship from my church with dear friends where I feel 1 Corinthians 12:25-26 rings true.. 25 so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. 26 If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.
Time to re-assess my need to hide..
While I will be not high-fiving people on the street about losing my job, I also will not travel the rest of my days incognito.
May God bless, care, and restore each of you today when life seems to have replaced your highs with lows where you wish to go under the surname of Hide, and then .. hide.
The mutterings on life and faith by cartoonist Jeff Larson