My rollercoaster existence leaves me at times exhilarated while other times ready to BARF. These twists and turns in my life do expose my Dr Jeffrey and Mr. Hide (like a less sinister version of Dr Jekyll & Mr Hyde) personality quirks. I am Dr Jeffrey when all is good, but Mr Hide but rises up as my rollercoaster dips and there is a big bend up ahead.
AND yes I did mean to say Mr. Hide (not Hyde).. 'Good grief I am cartoonist not a monster’.
Mr. Hide wants others to see me as a success. A man with a career, admired, and a man of status, and dashing good looks. Mr. Hide promotes the illusion that he is confident, funny, never depressed, and has never struggled with substance abuse. Oh there are many other things Mr. Hide hides from others, but you get the idea.
I am hurting, and a little panicked, but have determined none of my circumstance surprised God. I am sure He did not slap his forehead and declare.. "Wow, now that's a new one."
Anyways, I am putting my trust in my God. I could quote a ba-zillion verses about God's love for me, but I will keep it simple and share Psalm 23. A psalm of David.1 The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. 2 He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, 3 he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake. 4 Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. 5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. 6 Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
Time to re-assess my need to hide..
- I lost my job (that I hated),
- my wife believes in me,
- my friends and church are there for me, and ..
- If God is for ME, who can be against ME? Ro 8:31
While I will be not high-fiving people on the street about losing my job, I also will not travel the rest of my days incognito.