Abraham, home of the WHOPPER

I shared recently the Bible story where a mysterious voice saying "If you build it, they will come." happened way before the movie 'Field of Dreams'. This was when God spoke to Noah instructing him to build it (an Ark) and they (the Animals) will come two by two.

Next big event IMO in the book of Genesis paralleling pop culture was when the phrase 'Home of the Whopper'.  Let me share how this pop culture phrase was coined way before a single Burger King fast food joint existed, and certainly before America's presidential election process.  Let me explain.. but first..

​ON THE ROAD AGAIN!
In Genesis 12 Abram enters the Old  Testament story.  Abram is maybe a spry 85 years young, his bride Sarai is maybe 70.  The Lord tells Abram .. “Road Trip.!!.. pack up the Winnebago”. 

So Abraham loads a destination of Canaan into his GPS and says goodbye to Sweet Home Haran with Lynard Skynard playing in the background.

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HOME OF THE WHOPPER!
The next thing you know Abram was in Egypt with his wife Sarai while there was a famine in the land.  While in Egypt, Pharaoh spies Abram's wife Sarai who rumor has it was a 'fetching' 70 year old hottie. So Abe tells a little fib that Sarai is his sister as he is afraid they will kill him to take Sarai as their wife.  Ok, that is not a white lie this is a WHOPPER of a lie.

So Pharaoh takes Sarai into his palace, and treats Abram well for her sake, and Abram acquired sheep and cattle, male and female donkeys, male and female servants, and camels out of the exchange.

side note: I am not sure my wife in Sarai's place would have been such a good sport.

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But the Lord inflicted serious diseases on Pharaoh and his household because of Abram’s wife Sarai. So Pharaoh summoned Abram. “What have you done to me?” “Why didn’t you tell me she was your wife? Why did you say, ‘She is my sister,’ so that I took her to be my wife? Now then, here is your wife. Take her and go!” Then Pharaoh gave orders about Abram to his men, and they sent him on his way, with his wife and everything he had.

side note 2: While Abraham would become known as a great man of faith, Honest Abe was our 16th president and never confused with this Abram guy pawning his wife off in Egypt.  

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After Egypt, Abe travels to southern Canaan as a very wealthy man with cattle, silver, and gold. But tension arose between Abram and his nephew Lot because there were simply too many animals for the land to support. So Abe says to Lot, “Let’s not bicker over land.  If you choose the land to the left, I will go to the right, and if you choose the land to the right, I will go to the left.”  And Lot chooses the land in the direction of Sodom which could have been named LOT VEGAS! 

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In chapter 14, there were battles, but I gather that military tactics were a bit primitive. One particular lesson learned is still taught in the Soldier’s Field Manual at WestPoint stating a soldier should always avoid the short cut across the TARPITS.

During all this time, the Lord often reminds Abraham that he will be blessed by God so that to try to number his descendants will like trying to count the grains of sand on the shore, or the stars in the skies. There was of course the minor problem that AARP collectors Abram and Sarai had no kids.

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So now the plot thickens as Sarai (the good wife) says to Abram, “Why don’t you sleep with my slave girl Hagar?”  I have a couple of Back Pew comments with this part of the story. 
1.  When I think of Hagar, I think of that Viking cartoon character Hagar the Horrible.
2. My wife has never offered me a slave girl to sleep with! Of course if she did I would say very politely, “Why Mary, thank you very much for this most generous offer, BUT (with the vision of Hagar the Horrible in my head) I’m good.”  I may not be a great man of faith like Abram, but my momma didn’t raise NO DUMMY!!

But Abram ignores the tell tale warning signs that this idea is DUMBER-ER than a bag of hammers, and wanders out onto THIN ICE IN THE HOT DESERT and says more than howdy-do to the lovely miss Hagar. 

Hagar now becomes pregnant by Abram and Sarai lets Abram have it by probably saying something like, “I told you to sleep with her, but not SLEEP with her!”  To which Abram so eloquently in his defense says, “Huh?  What? But you said!!!  I thought I could.... Huh?”

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As you can read in chapter 16, this arrangement is nothing you ever see discussed on Focus on the Family, Oprah, or even The Jerry Springer show.  These chapters are NOT in the Bible as an example how to model the perfect marriage, but to instead show us God is faithful and caring for Abram and Sarai even when they do really dumb things.  Fortunately for all of us, our foolish choices are covered by God’s grace and goodness.
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In chapter 17, God says to Abram to change his name from Abram, to Abraham.  I wonder if this was so that he could start fresh and people would not know he was the guy who lied that Sarai was his sister, and slept with his wife’s slave girl.  Sarai also has her named changed to Sarah. Then near the end of the chapter 99 year old Abraham is circumcised.  This profound scripture emphatically reminds me not to complain about my own aches and pains. And all men collectively shout AMEN!!.. and .. YOWTCHEE!!  

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So there you have another story of a very flawed man used by God in great ways.  I thank God for His love and grace not dependent on my perfection.

​I pray God finds us all faithful in words and deeds and willing to hear God's voice when He calls us.

Jeff (my wife is not my sister) Larson

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