Not Tithe-Worthy
Bill deducted from the offering. This sermon, he decided, was not tithe-worthy.
Ushers’ Side Bet
The ushers had a side bet. Fifty bucks. His side against the other. The pews were not in on it.
The Love of Money
He doesn’t love money. It just helps him sleep. Paul already named that feeling.
Tithe Thugs Inc.
Don’t be givin’ that weak 7% tithe. Your offering, is now a protection plan.
Treasures in Heaven, Bills on Earth
Dear God, since my treasure is in Heaven, any chance of a loan?
Urology Hotline - can you hold?
The urology hotline asked if he could hold. He said that depends. Colossians 1:11 is about a better kind of waiting.
Baby – Hebrews 5:12-14
“I’m a BABY… what’s your excuse?” Hebrews 5:12–14 cartoon – time to trade milk for solid food in your faith!
Whoever Hates Correction Is Stupid
I wuz gonna be a doctor but med school profiled me, cuz I ain’t got no GED. Whoever hates correction is stupid. Pr 12:1
CAUTION Worship with Both Hands Raised
I found raising both hands when I worship is a lot like learning to ride a bike with no hands
If Your TV Causes you to Sin… Plug it out!
If your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out. If your TV is a problem… plug it out. Matthew 5:29.
Pirate hand, eye, and leg? rrrr — Matthew 5:29
His eye, his hand, and both legs for good measure. Now Double Peg Legged Pete has an itch… and no way to scratch it.
Figure of Speech — Matthew 5:29
Figure of speech is a concept painfully lost on Steven. Matthew 5:29. Figure… what?
Genie in a Lamp v Prayer
'Your wish is my command.' But for REAL needs? 'PRAY to the one true GOD.'
Worship Wings
Enthusiastic woman with arms raised high in joyful abandon while in church worship.
The Worship Moon Rises — Isaiah 6:3
Music plays, hands are high, and the worship moon rises. Holy, holy, holy.
Praise the Lord with Harp or Kazoo — Psalm 33:2
Praise the Lord with harp, or Kazoo Hero. Psalm 33:2. Hot crossed buns, hot crossed buns…
