Dear Crabby – Faith-Based Advice… sometimes with a snarky Smile

Welcome to Dear Crabby — The Back Pew’s own sassy but biblical advice column!

Inspired by the classic “Dear Abby” advice columns, Dear Crabby shares straight-talking, well-meaning, toughen-up-buttercup advice. Whether you’re struggling with marriage, family, church, loneliness, or just everyday frustrations — Dear Crabby is here to help. Thelma Crabtree is Dear Crabby
(truth with grace with a little attitude)

Happy New Year

4th of July

Valentines

Thanksgiving

CHRISTMAS

  • HOLIDAY ADVICE

Easter

Halloween

  • Bio

Dear Crabby (Velma Crabtree) is The Back Pew’s resident no-nonsense Christian counselor. She’s that lady in every church who says what everyone else is thinking — with zero filter but a whole lot of love. Whether you need straight talk, a kick in the pants, or a little biblical wisdom wrapped in sarcasm, Velma is here to help. (Just don’t expect her to sugarcoat it.)

Christian Cartoon of Dear Crabby online Christian Advice for church volunteers
Christian Cartoon of online Christian counseling for baptisms
Christian Cartoon of online Christian counseling on church being too serious

  • EVERYDAY ADVICE

Have a question for Dear Crabby? Submit it here!

Whether it’s about marriage, parenting, church drama, work stress, or any other real-life issue — send your question, and she just might answer it in a future cartoon (with grace, truth, and a dash of smirking humor).

  • Internal Notes – Velma Crabtree Character Sheet

    Name: Velma Crabtree (“Dear Crabby”)

    Core Personality:

    • Blunt, terse, and no-nonsense

    • Caring at heart, but low on patience and grace in delivery

    • Snarky with a “toughen up, buttercup” style

    • Endearing in her own grumpy, opinionated way

    • Strong opinions delivered with zero filter

    Visual Description (Base Look):

    • Older woman, late 60s to 70s

    • Gray hair in a bun or poofy style

    • Large glasses (often slightly crooked)

    • Bold cross necklace

    • Bright patterned top (turquoise, purple, etc.)

    • Expressive face — raised eyebrows, skeptical look

    Holiday Variations:

    • Christmas: Santa hat + red/green sweater

    • Easter: Pastel colors or Easter bonnet

    • Thanksgiving: Fall colors or turkey pin

    • 4th of July: Patriotic scarf or stars & stripes

    • Halloween: Witch hat (ironic)

  • Why People Love Dear Crabby:

  • You ‘gots’ questions; Thelma ‘gots’ answers, or at least OPINIONS

  • Wisdom ‘paraphrased’ for everyday folk

  • Encourages us to love life and laugh at ourselves

  • A fun, faith-filled alternative to secular advice columns

  • CHURCH