Call the Elder/Senior Tech Support — James 5:14
If your computer has a virus, call the elde/senior tech support.
The Common (rogue) Cold — Job 9:18
The common cold goes rogue, Job 9:18. Hack… hack… blech!
If You Are Sick, Call the Elders — James 5:14-15 (and bring a bucket)
If you are sick, call the elders … and bring a bucket.
Life Is a Maze… Beware of Bunny Trails — Micah 6:8
Life can be a maze of choices. Stay on the path marked by God.
The Church Body in Turmoil? — 1 Corinthians 12:25-26
The church body in turmoil. There should be no division in the body. If one suffers, all suffer. 1 Corinthians 12:25–26.
Operation: Church Body Edition — 1 Corinthians 12:12
Operation: Church Body Edition. 1 Corinthians 12:12.
Redneck Smile — Song of Songs 4:2-ish
Yer teeth are yella like linoleum, each one speckled with tobacco, food, and plaque. Song of Songs 4:2-ish.
If Yer Kin, Yer In — Ephesians 2:19
If yer kin, yer in. When Jesus comes again it’ll be a family reunion. City folk too. Ephesians 2:19.
Thief in Paradise “YA-HOO!” — Luke 23:43
The thief on the cross — now in Paradise. “Today you will be with me.” Luke 23:43.
Access to Heaven: Security Updates — John 14:6
Access to Heaven security updates. Username, password, prime number, and the color of your underwear. John 14:6.
When the Roll Is Called Up Yonder
ROLL CALL! City limits Yonder. The trumpet sounds, the roll is called, and… I am there.
Cat or Dog in a Hat — Proverbs 9:13
Please don’t call me a cat in a hat. I identify as a dog. Pronouns: bark/woof. Proverbs 9:13.
Noah vetting Dogs & Cats — Genesiis 7
The extinction of the house cat? Denied. Thanks to Noah’s thorough vetting. Genesis 7.
WHAT? — Proverbs 26:11
WHAT? No really, WHAT? A fool who repeats his foolishness is like a dog who returns to his vomit. Proverbs 26:11.
The Doggie Carpet Dance — 2 Samuel 6:14
The Doggie Carpet Dance. David: 2 Samuel 6:14. Cooper: 2 Cooper 6:14. Both with all their might.
My Name Is MEWcifer — 1 Peter 5:8
My name is MEWcifer. Be sober and watchful. 1 Peter 5:8.
Lamb unafraid “Yawn” — Philippians 1:27–28
ROAR! YAWN! Stand firm… strive together without fear. Philippians 1:27–28.
Satan Comes Taunting — John 10:10
Satan comes taunting: You are scum. A bum. A loser. John 10:10.
