Pirate hand, eye, and leg? rrrr — Matthew 5:29
His eye, his hand, and both legs for good measure. Now Double Peg Legged Pete has an itch… and no way to scratch it.
Figure of Speech — Matthew 5:29
Figure of speech is a concept painfully lost on Steven. Matthew 5:29. Figure… what?
Genie in a Lamp v Prayer
'Your wish is my command.' But for REAL needs? 'PRAY to the one true GOD.'
Worship Wings
Enthusiastic woman with arms raised high in joyful abandon while in church worship.
The Worship Moon Rises — Isaiah 6:3
Music plays, hands are high, and the worship moon rises. Holy, holy, holy.
Praise the Lord with Harp or Kazoo — Psalm 33:2
Praise the Lord with harp, or Kazoo Hero. Psalm 33:2. Hot crossed buns, hot crossed buns…
Call the Elder/Senior Tech Support — James 5:14
If your computer has a virus, call the elde/senior tech support.
The Common (rogue) Cold — Job 9:18
The common cold goes rogue, Job 9:18. Hack… hack… blech!
If You Are Sick, Call the Elders — James 5:14-15 (and bring a bucket)
If you are sick, call the elders … and bring a bucket.
Life Is a Maze… Beware of Bunny Trails — Micah 6:8
Life can be a maze of choices. Stay on the path marked by God.
The Church Body in Turmoil? — 1 Corinthians 12:25-26
The church body in turmoil. There should be no division in the body. If one suffers, all suffer. 1 Corinthians 12:25–26.
Operation: Church Body Edition — 1 Corinthians 12:12
Operation: Church Body Edition. 1 Corinthians 12:12.
Redneck Smile — Song of Songs 4:2-ish
Yer teeth are yella like linoleum, each one speckled with tobacco, food, and plaque. Song of Songs 4:2-ish.
If Yer Kin, Yer In — Ephesians 2:19
If yer kin, yer in. When Jesus comes again it’ll be a family reunion. City folk too. Ephesians 2:19.
Thief in Paradise “YA-HOO!” — Luke 23:43
The thief on the cross — now in Paradise. “Today you will be with me.” Luke 23:43.
Access to Heaven: Security Updates — John 14:6
Access to Heaven security updates. Username, password, prime number, and the color of your underwear. John 14:6.
When the Roll Is Called Up Yonder
ROLL CALL! City limits Yonder. The trumpet sounds, the roll is called, and… I am there.
Cat or Dog in a Hat — Proverbs 9:13
Please don’t call me a cat in a hat. I identify as a dog. Pronouns: bark/woof. Proverbs 9:13.