remembering my friend Ron Sykes
On July 24th, 2011 my good friend Ron Sykes lost his battle with cancer and is now in Heaven with family and friends who preceeded him. Many of you reading this know this already and know Ron.. but for those who do not I share the following...
On February 6th, 2011 my family watched the Super Bowl with our good friends Bryan & Laura Anderson at the home of Ron and Lola Sykes. Those of us from Wisconsin know this was a special night while those of you from Minnesota.. SPECIAL?? may not be the word you were looking for. I even have pictures of Ron (a life long Bears fan) wearing a Packer hat.. PRICELESS!
ANYWAYS over the next months to follow Ron would often say to me.. “Jeff, when you are having a bad day do you ever console yourself by thinking.. well at least THE PACKERS WON THE SUPER BOWL. And truth be told, I did from time to time console myself on bad days with this GREAT TRUTH the Packers won the Super Bowl… and IT WORKED.. until Ron passed away.
RON actually ASKED ME TO DO HIS EULOGY (IF NECESSARY) back in June 2011. I was honored to accept this request as I have so many great memories and strong feelings regarding Ron and our friendship.Then I started thinking the hidden reasons Ron may want to have me give the Eulogy.
I HAVE KNOWN RON MOST OF MY LIFE
The Sykes family moved to Wisconsin as their year round home I believe in the early 1970s. They attended the same little white church in Cable Wisconsin as I did, and this was the start of a lifelong friendship. We both loved sports and our faith was a common ground for us over the next 40 some years. We attended the same High School, church, were college roomates, and roommates after college. We stood up in each other’s weddings and we have been through a whole-lotta life together. Single days, roommates, married, then married with children.
Growing up I was envious of Ron as his family owned a resort. I was the son of a logger and I appreciate that heritage, BUT Ron’s 'summer job' while in college was to pull pretty girls waterskiing behind the speed boat or setting behind the resort front desk schmoozing with those at the resort. In contrast as a logger I was cutting down trees working with men who looked and smelled like sweaty dirty men and whose language would make a Baptist blush. But I digress..
While this is a dedication to my good friend and his life well lived I need to share an important note. Ron should not be nominated for sainthood. There are glaring flaws that you should all be aware of my good friend.
10 THINGS YOU MIGHT NOT KNOW ABOUT RON
DAVANNIS for Lunch (one of my favorite memories)
For years now, At least a couple times a month IF NOT EVERY WEEK I have lunch at Davanni's Hoagie and Pizza Eatery in Arden Hills Minnesota with my best friends in life, Bryan Anderson and Ron Sykes.
Our weekly discussions cover the gamut of life’s mysteries.
THE MORTALITY OF OUR FRIENDSHIP
First of all, I am the one of us three that has the multitude of doctor visits for broken bones, migraines, a knee surgery, anxiety and depression issues and in my corporate America days I never saw a sick day I did not like. This has become a source of humor for Bryan and Ron who claim to be my good friends. Then it becomes not funny anymore.
Several years ago while in a cross country ski race Bryan had a brain aneurism that almost killed him. He completely recovered but this was way becoming way too serious. More recently, Ron had a bout with skin cancer but after treatment was given a clean bill of health as recently as February 2011. Then in the spring of 2011 Ron after not feeling well and being overly tired went to see the doctor and learned his cancer had returned. The doctors treated his cancer aggressively, and all of Ron’s friends and family prayed for him, but sadly for all of us his recovery was not meant to be.
We don't know what the future holds for any of us in this drop in the bucket of eternity existence.. BUT what I do know is the importance of good friends.. no make that GREAT friends. How many of you can say they still see their best friends from school days on a regular basis? I CAN! It just is not the same without Ron, BUT someday we will all gather together again for Hoagies on a Friday in Heaven. But here is some GREAT NEWS
You cannot take away from Ron
Finally you cannot take away the influence Ron had during his life serving the one true God. To love God and care for others (God's greatest 2 commandments) was not on HIS 'to-do-list', it was who Ron was.
HEAVEN.. is that plain of existence beyond our comprehension beyond our failing physical bodies for those who believe and honor God. It is that plain where Ron is now reunited with his parents, other friends and family, and where we will live eternally with our loving creator, and.. Heaven is that plain where I look forward someday to eating Hoagies on a Friday with my good friend Ron.
Jeff
On February 6th, 2011 my family watched the Super Bowl with our good friends Bryan & Laura Anderson at the home of Ron and Lola Sykes. Those of us from Wisconsin know this was a special night while those of you from Minnesota.. SPECIAL?? may not be the word you were looking for. I even have pictures of Ron (a life long Bears fan) wearing a Packer hat.. PRICELESS!
ANYWAYS over the next months to follow Ron would often say to me.. “Jeff, when you are having a bad day do you ever console yourself by thinking.. well at least THE PACKERS WON THE SUPER BOWL. And truth be told, I did from time to time console myself on bad days with this GREAT TRUTH the Packers won the Super Bowl… and IT WORKED.. until Ron passed away.
RON actually ASKED ME TO DO HIS EULOGY (IF NECESSARY) back in June 2011. I was honored to accept this request as I have so many great memories and strong feelings regarding Ron and our friendship.Then I started thinking the hidden reasons Ron may want to have me give the Eulogy.
- My whole life I have struggled with speaking in public and in fact when I was a senior in High School I took a lower grade in a sociology class taught by friend Jim Anderson by not giving an oral presentation. Jim was in attendance of Ron's funeral, and so I asked him by doing the eulogy if I could now get that 'B'? He nodded, but I never did recieve official confirmation of any grade change.
- The other reason Ron may have wanted me to give the Eulogy was that men sound like wounded badgers in a bear trap when they cry... and Ron would find humor in this. .. and he knew I would cry.
I HAVE KNOWN RON MOST OF MY LIFE
The Sykes family moved to Wisconsin as their year round home I believe in the early 1970s. They attended the same little white church in Cable Wisconsin as I did, and this was the start of a lifelong friendship. We both loved sports and our faith was a common ground for us over the next 40 some years. We attended the same High School, church, were college roomates, and roommates after college. We stood up in each other’s weddings and we have been through a whole-lotta life together. Single days, roommates, married, then married with children.
Growing up I was envious of Ron as his family owned a resort. I was the son of a logger and I appreciate that heritage, BUT Ron’s 'summer job' while in college was to pull pretty girls waterskiing behind the speed boat or setting behind the resort front desk schmoozing with those at the resort. In contrast as a logger I was cutting down trees working with men who looked and smelled like sweaty dirty men and whose language would make a Baptist blush. But I digress..
While this is a dedication to my good friend and his life well lived I need to share an important note. Ron should not be nominated for sainthood. There are glaring flaws that you should all be aware of my good friend.
10 THINGS YOU MIGHT NOT KNOW ABOUT RON
- Ron was neither a handyman or Auto Mechanic. His dad was a gifted carpenter and handyman, but that gene somehow skipped over Ron.
- Ron was a BAD DRIVER and killed more deer with his car in a weekend than most hunters in a lifetime (TRUE). Also we have several MISSING THE T in the road stories.
- Ron and fashion.. LIKE OIL & WATER! Not a fashion consultant on the show WHAT NOT TO WEAR. (Ron once wore a Sky blue leisure suit as an usher at a friend's wedding). To Ron, dressing up was deciding which color Mogasheen (the resort his parents owned) T-shirt he would wear to church.
- Ron entered a Ping pong tourney where.. he lost to a 12 year old girl. Ok, I lost to her too, but this is about Ron! In our defense the people in this tourney were ping pong savants!
- I once drove out to visit Ron at his family's resort to find a large crowd around the tennis court where Ron was playing tennis against a vacationing Resorter wearing swimming flippers and goggles, AND HE WON. It all started when Ron trashed talk challenged this poor guy into this match.
- Ron watched game 7 of the Bulls last championship game WHILE HIS WIFE WAS IN THEIR HONEYMOON SUITE. It was a case of misplaced priorities. In defense guys are prone to confuse sports with love.
- Ron had no idea WHAT A FROZEN LAKE LOOKS LIKE. Though he grew up on a lake Ron once took my family and his wife Lola out (both literally and figuratively) on a partially frozen lake for snowmobile rides with near disastrous results. Like a Northwoods Mafia Hitman assigned to kill his friends and SPOUSE? Good news, both attempts failed.
- Ron once left his kids unattended sitting in the family minivan in a PRISON PARKING LOT while he was inside counseling a friend! Then over the loud speaker he heard the words .. "would the man who left his preschool children unattended in the parking lot please report to the front desk." Ron said as this was announced hardened criminals teared up and shouted in unison "WHAT KIND OF VILE PERSON WOULD DO THIS!"
- As college roommates there were pranks and moments uniquely Ron. Ron loved to make EVERYTHING a competition including a pair of boxing gloves that he had. One pair, and he decided we should each get one glove and box each other, BUT NOT TO THE FACE. I cannot imagine the strange sounds heard from our dorm room as we boxed. Groans, and laughter, and phrases like STOP IT YOUR DOING THAT TOO HARD.. and THAT HURTS.. sounded like a gay lovers quarrel.
- Ron was a Monty Python fan and could recite much of the movie The Holy Grail… like how do you know she is a witch? And I’M NOT DEAD YET.
DAVANNIS for Lunch (one of my favorite memories)
For years now, At least a couple times a month IF NOT EVERY WEEK I have lunch at Davanni's Hoagie and Pizza Eatery in Arden Hills Minnesota with my best friends in life, Bryan Anderson and Ron Sykes.
- Bryan, a biology professor at Bethel University whom we call 'Mr. Science' is the Cliff Clavin of all things found in a laboratory, or on a petri dish.
- Ron, the pastor of a local church we called 'The Vicar' and gave him protestant pope like status among the three of us good friends.
Our weekly discussions cover the gamut of life’s mysteries.
- We start most weeks embracing our delusions regarding our beloved sports teams. Please note Bryan and myself are Packer fans (13 world championships), Ron is a Bears fan (9 world championships) while those of you from Minnesota?? (ZERO).. but I digress.
- Then we discuss the trouble (thin ice) we encountered with our wives. Like deer caught in headlights they almost ALWAYS have something to share, but... don’t all men. At first they both participate reluctantly, BUT with a little priming .. THEY ALWAYS SHARE.
- Next on to the topic of raising versus selling our kids .. even.. when our kids are all grown up.
- Finally we take time to reflect on deep theological matters regarding the church, Bible, and God's timeless truths in this world of Oprah Winfrey-isms. Of course as we speak on these.. ‘God topics' we stroke our beards (actually I am the only one with facial hair… or hair on head for that matter) and do our best King James speak.. spewing a plethora of ‘verily verilys, thees and thous, woe unto you wretched sinner comments woven seamlessly in a way that one overhearing us may think if their eyes were closed the Pope, Billy Graham, and the Apostle Paul were eating hoagies in the booth next to them.
THE MORTALITY OF OUR FRIENDSHIP
First of all, I am the one of us three that has the multitude of doctor visits for broken bones, migraines, a knee surgery, anxiety and depression issues and in my corporate America days I never saw a sick day I did not like. This has become a source of humor for Bryan and Ron who claim to be my good friends. Then it becomes not funny anymore.
Several years ago while in a cross country ski race Bryan had a brain aneurism that almost killed him. He completely recovered but this was way becoming way too serious. More recently, Ron had a bout with skin cancer but after treatment was given a clean bill of health as recently as February 2011. Then in the spring of 2011 Ron after not feeling well and being overly tired went to see the doctor and learned his cancer had returned. The doctors treated his cancer aggressively, and all of Ron’s friends and family prayed for him, but sadly for all of us his recovery was not meant to be.
We don't know what the future holds for any of us in this drop in the bucket of eternity existence.. BUT what I do know is the importance of good friends.. no make that GREAT friends. How many of you can say they still see their best friends from school days on a regular basis? I CAN! It just is not the same without Ron, BUT someday we will all gather together again for Hoagies on a Friday in Heaven. But here is some GREAT NEWS
You cannot take away from Ron
- those good times with friends and family
- the blessing of a wife and kids that were his joy.
- the blessing of loving parents, brothers, sisters, and family.
- Lola and the kids the blessing of a loving husband and father
- friends the good memories, and good times knowing Ron.
Finally you cannot take away the influence Ron had during his life serving the one true God. To love God and care for others (God's greatest 2 commandments) was not on HIS 'to-do-list', it was who Ron was.
- Ron served in the Kinship program as a big brother, as a missionary to China, and all the many community service roles noted in his obituary and more.
- Ron became a pastor because it was the calling on his heart to preach God's truth and share the joy of living the Gospel message (in his actions and if he must he would use words).
- Ron's faith was not 'churchy' it was everyday life, it was joyful..even when life included cancer..
HEAVEN.. is that plain of existence beyond our comprehension beyond our failing physical bodies for those who believe and honor God. It is that plain where Ron is now reunited with his parents, other friends and family, and where we will live eternally with our loving creator, and.. Heaven is that plain where I look forward someday to eating Hoagies on a Friday with my good friend Ron.
Jeff
