DEATH… by Cartoon
DEATH.. by Cartoon.. “While there were preexisting conditions, it was THE CARTOON that killed him.” - CDC (Center of Deceased Cartoons) Dr. Foocheese
Dateline: 11th Century BC, CSI Report:
The VIC (victim) appears to be in his mid-30s,
standing about 9' tall with head...
without head he is more like.. 7'2".
Though the Vic's head has been severed by his own sword, SUICIDE has been ruled out.
A large contusion on his noggin matches the markings of a small smooth stone at the scene of the crime.
This stone is marked with blood and hair that appear to match the noggin' bump on the VIC <pause> Also,
The crime scene smells like SHEEP!
Cause of Death: Later testing determined VIC did not die from a bump on the head or from his head being severed, but instead IT WAS… COVID-19! Kidding, kidding, I could not help myself.
Truth is, the VIC was Goliath who met his demise in the form of the shepherd boy David armed with a sling, a few choice stones all endorsed by the very POWER OF GOD.
BUT.. I digress... as I reclassify this event as... DEATH BY CARTOON.
Note: From the beginning through this very day, only Enoch and Elijah have been given an 'eternity hall pass' from God to cheat death. In the case of Elijah, he lived even though he was not wearing his seat belt. To this truth, my good friend Bryan Anderson clings on to as America's lone 'seat belt denier'.
Everyone else gasped their last breath and succumbed to their inevitable demise.
Let me share a few more memorable DEATH BY CARTOON Bible moments.
In the days of the OT (Old Testament)
- Sisera died from a tent stake splitting headache.
Judges 4:21
Death by> Excedrin headache #1
- Eglon was run through.
Judges 3:22-23
Death by> big belly wound
- Noah's neighbors could not tread water for 40 days and nights.
Genesis 7
Death by> excessive water up their noses
- Jericho Guards fell down, go boom.
Joshua 6
Death by> Jewish Marching Band?
- Abimelech's world was rocked. LOL
Judges 9
Death by> He was killed by a GIRL
Then on to the New Testament, where
Lazarus is DEAD!.. then not dead
John 11
- Jesus died, then of course rose from the grave. While the…
- The Thief died on the cross next to Jesus, but then HEAVEN! Truly Amazing Grace.
Luke 27
Note: Notice how all these New Testament DEATH BY CARTOONS have Happy Endings with LIFE now and for ETERNITY.
DEATH… more than a macabre theme for Halloween, or the chilly exit from our time on this Earth. For believers, death is the beginning of LIFE eternal.
Oh, death, where is your victory? Oh, death, where is your sting? I Corinthians 15:55 —>
Since I am more likely to leave this Earth driving a 2013 Chevy Silverado than riding a chariot of fire, and I know this life is just a drop in the ocean of eternity.
I will grieve when loved ones pass on, but I pray constantly for perspective that includes eternal life for those who love God. Then death truly has no victory; death has no sting.
May God… bless each of you with the peace of someday eternal life with God.
May we… gain a glimpse of the big picture with a perspective outside our circumstances and the pain we may endure.
May the promise… of a peace that passes all understanding become real to each who chooses to follow our God.
Jeff (NOT DEAD YET… in the Back Pew) Larson
FINAL NOTE:
I did once receive this piece of mail from my bank years ago that was addressed to Jeffery DEAD Larson, not Jeffrey DEAN Larson.
I guess I must have been late on my Home Equity Loan payment.
