The Day I became… a WOMAN
Do not worry, while it is 2025 and Pride Month, and while I may be confused about a number of things (like where my car keys are now), I am a dude.
Long before the 2022 'What is a Woman' documentary by Matt Walsh, I knew what a woman was, and I was... NOT.
But humor me, not so many years ago, when I worked from home while my wife rushed off to her job as a schoolteacher.
I remember one particular morning when the alarm went off, and my wife, Mary, hopped out of bed, ready to begin another day of molding young minds in her 3rd-grade classroom.
Anyway, though I work from home, I pop out of bed to spend time with my bride and maybe make myself useful. I shuffle downstairs, start the coffee, let the dogs outside, they do their 'bizness', then back in they come to be fed.
I remember one particular morning when the alarm went off, and my wife, Mary, hopped out of bed, ready to begin another day of molding young minds in her 3rd-grade classroom.
Anyway, though I work from home, I pop out of bed to spend time with my bride and maybe make myself useful. I shuffle downstairs, start the COFFEE, let the dogs outside, they do their 'bidness', then back in they come to be fed.
My wife soon joins me downstairs to drink coffee and eat a slice of toast with honey. We exchange a little small talk about the upcoming day while the fog lifts from our sleepy brains. After a few minutes, my wife starts back upstairs to finish getting ready, but on her way up, she asks with a smile, “Hun, would you fix my lunch?”
Fortunately for her, I have grown fond of her over the years and am happy to make myself useful. So, off to the kitchen I go, where I make a turkey sandwich on whole wheat bread with lettuce, tomato, and mayonnaise, just as Mary likes. I also pack a small bag of chips and a cookie because she is sweet.
Just a few minutes later, Mary returns downstairs, looking pretty and ready to do some teachin’. She grabs her keys and lunch (made with love) and quickly kisses me as she heads out the door. This is when I say to her in a very 'needy' tone...
“Call me later, I miss you when I don’t hear from you.”
<insert dramatic pause here>
“Call me later, I miss you when I don’t hear from you.” What kind of REAL man EVER says anything like this?
I can still see those words hanging in the air (like a cartoon bubble) when they hit me. I HAVE JUST BECOME A WOMAN!
This was concerning. I mean... I do not suffer from the above-mentioned gender dysphoria, watch RuPaul Drag Race, root for swimmer Lia Thomas, march in any Pride Parades, or follow Bruce/Kaitlyn's gender-bender Jenner.
Sooo... let's consider this "Call me later, I miss you..." comment a weak moment with poorly chosen words never to be uttered again.
The good news is that my wife and I are true partners, and I share this all with a big smirk. Our roles as husband and wife, father and mother, grandpa and grandma are not blurred.
and Ephesians 5:21-33 serves as our model for a happy marriage.
So let me leave this silly post as I pray you all have a very blessed and PRIDE-less month of June without a smidge of gender confusion.
Jeff (THE DUDE) Larson
