I was in our master bathroom, on the bathroom vanity, where there were 29 separate items, four of which were mine. I have a razor, toothbrush, deodorant, and toothpaste (the toothpaste I share with my wife).

The rest belong to my bride.

Included in the other 25 or so items is a bag of makeup… so in reality, the total is much more one-sided.

BUT.. if I trim my beard and a few whiskers are left around the sink.. the countenance of my bride darkens… but

Do I ever complain about ‘OUR’ bathroom vanity covered with a cosmetology collective of spray bottles, brushes, lip STUFF, hair dryers, and the like?? Do I?? <pause>

Oh wait, I guess I am now.. BUT NOT TO HER FACE… so that does not count.

This brings me to a similar subject.. a ‘WOMAN'S PURSE’.

To me, it is much like a magician’s hat, where my wife will ask me, for example, to retrieve her car keys from her purse for her. I cringe as I know THIS WILL NOT BE EASY.. so with my mouth hanging open, and my brow furrowed, I look inside into the unending collection of ‘necessities’…
A LADY'S LABYRINTH of no end!

Even though her purse is very typical in size, when you look inside, it seems to go on forever. I finally closed my eyes, reached in and pulled out a rabbit, but no car keys. She then smirks, reaches into her purse without taking her eyes off me, and retrieves her keys with a look that said to me, “Are you blind?”

Another time, when looking for a blessed stick of gum, I caught a glimpse of what I believe was a secret passage to the Land of Narnia behind her cellphone, TicTacs, and what appeared to be a magnum 44 hand gun. However, I found the gum and became distracted, losing sight of the Narnia portal… but I will be back.

Also, there is a third mystery I would like to share…

READY, SET, GO!
With my razor, toothbrush, deodorant, and a clean pair of jeans, I can be ready for church in under 15 minutes, from shower to starting the car. While my wife, the process is a tad longer.. A REALLY BIG TAD.

I mean... Mary must choose between outfits to wear, and does not use the guy-proven method of preparation, which is … wear what is clean OR.. do the quick smell test if we are not sure if that shirt left on the floor the other week is still ok for a little Sunday morning hand raising. Then again, Mary does look and smell better than I... but if it were a race, the safe money is on me.

So, what is my spiritual meal message today? <insert reflective pause here>

Maybe, if for no other reason, man and woman are meant for each other, so guys don't go to church dressed like the fella in the picture on the right.
And men are suitable for women to.. umm.. to.. umm.. kill and/or protect the fairer sex from mice and spiders? Oh, and we also open jars. YES, we are good at opening jars.

That's all I’ve got; I’m drawing a blank. Get it, I am a cartoonist ‘drawing’ a blank.

A Woman’s Purse

Six Million Dollar Man