The Night of the.. ANACONGA!!
Saturday, December 4th, 2004 Michael W Smith is in town for a Christmas Worship Concert.
A couple years ago my wife and I attended his Christmas Worship Concert which of
course was great. There were a number of other performers besides ‘Mr Smith’ like Point of Grace,
and so it was top quality from beginning to end. What a great way to get into the Christmas spirit.

So anyways, 2 years ago when we attended and after an hour or so of worhsip they took an
intermission. Now since at dinner I had about 14 Dr Peppers since I was not particularly hungry
(Forrest Gumpish).. an intermission was welcome. So we leave the auditorium into the
lobby/concessions area where my wife and I head to our respective restrooms. That is when I notice
a disturbing force .. a great power that seems to control the flow of people through the lobby. I sense
a growing very real physical force.. winding back and forth through the lobby. Through the corner of
my eye.. it appears to be a giant snake.. maybe some sort of LAND LEVIATHAN coiling, winding, and
hissing it’s way through the mass of people.

Was this some demonic snake like form here to oppress this body of believers at this great worship
event. Is it some Frank Paretti like creature about to devour the people of God in some apocalyptic
battle of good and evil?

So with my senses peaked I turn to look directly into the face of the beast and realize.. THIS IS THE
LINE TO THE LADIES ROOM! Not demonic, not evil in any way, but still a collective force of estrogen
that does twist and wind AND HISS through the lobby link a giant ANACONDA.. or some sort of all female
CONGA LINE.

I am somewhat relieved that it was not a sign of the end times, but still.. it was scary. When I then
tried to make my way to the men’s room I find myself blocked by this ANACONGA, and I did not feel
one bit safe to say excuse me and break their collective force. I did not hear words, but I felt the
piercing glances of this beast that seemed to say.. “Go ahead.. I dare you to break our line Mr. I can
pee while standing up.” Then I notice.. I am not the only male here that is afraid. I looked around to
see groups of men at the concessions stands, and those who made it to the mens room appeared to
be quick about their business. But no one is crossing this line.

Was this all in my imagination? Am I that insecure that I could not make it to the men’s room if it
meant crossing this great ANACONGA? All I can answer to this question is I know the fear of making
unapproved computer purchases when my wife finds out. It is the feeling a dog must have when
you catch him chewing your slippers. Your dog knows you will not kill him, but he only wishes you
would because he is going to catch HECK! So this is how I feel, when the lovely Mrs. Larson catches
me.. this is how all men feel… So who in their right mind would dare cross the GREAT ANACONGA!
The collective looks, and estrogen.. not too mention they are all in line to .. to ..GO.. well this is enough
for me to rely on my camel instincts and HOLD IT. I will hold it for days before I cross an ANACONGA.

So you ask.. is there a thread of a spiritual message here in this email. At first glance no.. but after
further review.. the answer is yes. Much can be gleaned about the husband & wife dynamic. Also
there is the obvious lesson about taking a foolish risk.. and though there is no scripture speaking out
specifically about drinking 14 Dr. Peppers.. I would still advise against it.

Have a great day, blessed by God in great ways. .. and for those of you attending concerts...
Beware,, THE MIGHTY ANACONGA!!