WINTER..
While the rumor that Minnesota is a frozen snow covered land for 10 months of the years is greatly exaggerated.. I do admit we have our lion's share of winter weather that is not for the faint of heart, and where the sharp winter air is more than simply Fresh.. it is BLESSED COLD!
So what better things to do while FROZEN in MinneSNOWTA than play in the snow , while there are those though they even tried the time honored tradition of making snow angels will never embrace winter. It has even been reported Minnesota is not the number one requested assignment for guardian angels... cuz remember SNOW is a 4-letter word.. and be careful how you DRIVE in it.
    
Our 'Minnesota Nice Faith' is evident everywhere from those who celebrate the great Psalm - this is the day the Lord has made SNOW and we rejoice.. but be sure to dress warm. Then for the truly hearty believers we have Extreme Baptists who find ways of combining their Frozen-Faith with an Ice Fishing hole. At Christmas time we have our flavor of the Live Nativity.
In Minnesota, walking on water is a regular occurance.. not because of our great northern faith, but HELLO.. the water is frozen. So admittedly many of the classic Bible stories if they occured in Minnesota would not have the same miraculous ring to them if for example.. The GREAT FLOOD was in Minnesota,.. as it would have instead been called simply the great blizzard of Genesis. And again the faith of Peter walking on water would have lost it's zing if it occurred on one of Minnesota's 10,000 frozen lakes... and what if John the Minnesota Baptist had to make way for the Lord? He would need a shovel for certain... unless he waited for Spring
   
 
The Health Risks here in the MinneFROZETOES winter are the obvious ones of exposure resulting in frostbite, or even worse.. Snotcicles! And do watch out for the - Scandinavian Mafia else you be wacked by a snowshovel, and the Hearty Winter Mosquito is alive and well.
Of course 'MINNESOTA NICE' is extended to all men and women. We believe all men are created equal.. even snowmen. PETS (people for the ethical
treatment of snowmen) was formed to look out for those snowpeople who are neglected, abused, and unattended after they are created with a  little Minnesota Nice TLC for snowpeople. Though crime rates are low among snowpeople there are indications that The Winter Mafia exists in Minnesota when a Snowman Hitmen wacked (er..a.. blow dried) a snowman who owed protection money for the coming spring. So lest they lose their heads a snowman should live by the Snowman Proverb Amen and Amen. A warning must go out to snowmen with 'colds'..be careful when you SNEEZE! On the flip side of Minnesota NICE there have been reports of SNOWMEN infiltrating homes to perform thermostat pranks
   
As spring approaches the words of Frosty's sermon ring prophetic and true to a congregation of snowmen and snowwomen. Spring is almost here, and are you ready? Those words are the most effective altar call a snowman could hear. AND.. though I do not participate, I hear Smelting is a spring activity for the true Minnesotan at heart.
 Then..SPRING IS SPRUNG.. and it is time for the little league opener where we always pray that the only white balls on the field are baseballs and not SNOWBALLS.
Contrary to the Stereotype Minnesota does have SUMMER.. BOTH DAYS. Truth be told, summers in Minnesota can be downright beautiful with 10,000 lakes or so to fish on, boat on, and swim in. The only thing that keeps a Minnesota summer day from perfection is the dreaded MOSQUITO (aka our State Bird) feasting on any exposed flesh, and those times when the temperature and humidity leave us Sweltering in the spirit like a Floridian.
   
Now once fall comes those that bleed purple (aka Viking fans) come out to banter with their cross border rivals the Cheeseheads (aka Paker fans) from Wisconsin. This has resulted in many 'mixed marriages' where a packer guy marries a viking gal, or visa versa.. but either way they are as the Bible puts it.. unequally yoked.
   
There are those who take a few weeks off from Sunday football to shoot at Bambi's mom or to follow the mighty gophers football team. Is there possibly a worst mascot for a major university than the Minnesota Golden Gophers? Wo.. that sure strikes fear in the other Big 10 schools when the Minnesota Prarie Rodents come to town.
So there you have it. Minnesota Nice covering all 4 seasons. From glacial to mosquito then back again. Armed with warm clothes, bug repellant, and the word of God we are ready for anything. Diverse in our people, and blessed with men of God who preach it with a Minnesotan flair fer-sure doncha-know.
So let me close with the Minnesota Blessing and the Minnesota Benediction , and remember we have a leader now that is very Minnesotan and his name is not Jesse Ventura..
it is MOOSES... and a little DUCK DIVERSITY
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